Germany

Where did the time go?

September 10, 2021 filed under: about me, Expat stories, Germany, my so-called life, USA

You guys, I am having a bit of a moment here. Yesterday was my California-versary. I arrived here for the first time on September 9, 2001. That was 20 years ago.

TWENTY!

It really doesn’t feel that long. I have almost lived here for as long as I lived in Germany. That seems so crazy to me. Time perception is such a weird thing.

Here’s a reminder for those who haven’t been around my corner of the Internet for that long and don’t know my background story; I came to the US as an exchange student, and what was supposed to be a 6-months visit ended up being the biggest life-changing decision of my life.

Yes, you’re also correct to notice that I arrived two days before 9/11, and I am so glad I did because I don’t think my exchange semester would have happened if my flight had been booked to arrive after 9/11 (the academic quarter didn’t start until the beginning of October and some other students from my university never made it over here).

While studying abroad had been my dream for a long time, I distinctly remember wondering upon my arrival what the heck I had been thinking to come here all by myself. But, as we all know, pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone is always scary at first (and boy, was I pushing myself out of my comfort zone), but so very necessary for growth.

Sometimes I think it would have been “easier” to just stay in one place and not “rock the boat” with a move abroad (but who wants “easy”, amirite?). I think it was also a little less common back then than it is now for people to study or work abroad, and the fact that I followed my heart (and a guy attached to it, ha!) wasn’t something that people readily accepted.

I was a very shy and timid kid and nobody – least of all me – would have thought that I would ever up and move to another country. Not even temporarily, much less indefinitely. I’ve written about my story about how I ended up in the US before (you can read about it here) and I still have days where it’s utterly mind-boggling to me that I made that leap and that I am living my life abroad.

Moving away and putting an ocean between you and the people you care about is hard, so hard. You will quickly learn who stays in touch or actually follows through to come and visit and who fades away. Some people deal with this better than others, is what I am saying (and be ready to be surprised). But in retrospect, I feel like this move was less of a choice and more of an inevitability. It was an important opportunity for me to spread my wings. I gained (much needed) self-confidence and it taught me that I am much more resilient and independent than I’d have ever given myself credit for. I know now that I can do hard things.

In the beginning, when things are new and unfamiliar, you compare a lot. This is different in Germany and that is better in Germany. People keep asking you how things are different, or what’s better (or worse) where you live now. Over time, you stop doing the comparison game. Every place has good and bad things, you embrace the new culture and customs, and you might even take a more critical look at your home country. It’s all part of the process. Occasionally, you might feel smug about the fact that you are so lucky that you get to pick the best things from both worlds (three Christmas holidays, anyone?). But it’s still true that you can take the girl out of Germany, but you can’t take the German out of this girl.

After all this time here, it’s like I am still stuck somewhere in the middle. It becomes hard to answer the question of where your home is. For a while, that was very odd and confusing. It felt “wrong” to feel at home in two places. While I still call Germany home when I am here, I also call California home when I am in Germany. I know many immigrants and expats understand this feeling. The truth is, we’re always going to have our hearts split between two worlds now. And I think overall, that’s not a bad thing. Even when it’s hard sometimes, it’s also incredibly beautiful.

Seems like I chose the name for this blog wisely when I started writing here in 2004 because the phrase turned out to be fitting for someone with a heart split between two places.

The flooding in Germany

July 26, 2021 filed under: Germany, news

It’s been a little quiet here. I was pretty busy with work, and I have to admit, my mind has also been very preoccupied with the recent news.

I grew up in western Germany, in the area where major flooding occurred two weeks ago, and if one thing makes you question why tf you moved so damn far away, it is when stuff is happening at home and you are not there.
Let me get the – for me personally – most important part out of the way first: my family and my hometown are safe and okay. I was so relieved. Parts of my town have flooded before, so I was justifiably worried, but there was only minor flooding along the local river, Erft, although the same small river wreaked havoc in a town just 30 miles upstream. It’s a bit of a miracle.

The local Erft river in my hometown. (© Photo credit: my Mom)

Usual flow (left) and high flow two weeks ago (right). I know it doesn’t look so bad, and that’s because, in my town, it wasn’t. You can see actual destruction if you click the link below.

Many other parts of the German western states of North Rhine-Westphalia and Rhineland-Palatinate as well as parts of Belgium and the Netherlands were completely devastated when swollen rivers tore through towns and villages. The images are hard to look at. You wouldn’t expect widespread destruction like that in a European country. (I am not saying it’s okay anywhere, but to see this happen in some of the wealthiest and most technologically advanced countries, who have invested in flood forecasting and preparation prompted by previous inundations, is mind-boggling.)

The fact that this made national news in the US, when usually not much of the European news does (because we’re so busy with what’s going on in this country), you know it is huge.

But we really shouldn’t be surprised, or should we? Very unusual (and early!) heatwaves in the western United States, more frequent wildfires or intense freezing spells, and now the flooding in Europe. I’m sorry, but it does not seem like a coincidence. Climate scientists are convinced that these events are caused by climate change and even though exactly how all the different pieces might be connected, is still a subject of debate (and research), scientists have a hunch that global warming causes the slowing down of the jet stream, a fast-moving, high-altitude, current of air that circulates above the Earth, and therefore slows down weather systems. Because warmer air can hold more moisture (and global temperatures are rising), the combination of more moisture and a stalled storm system can then lead to extra-heavy rains over an area in a short amount of time. A high-pressure system moved very slowly over the western part of the United States a couple of weeks ago, hence the extreme heat, and a near-stationary low-pressure weather system brought record levels of rain to western Europe on Wednesday.

I am not a climate scientist, but for someone with a logical brain who works in the earth sciences, this all makes a lot of sense to me. Yes, there are nuances and many, many things that factor into this, but the trends are there. If you don’t see it, I can’t help you.

We really have to start addressing climate change for what it is: a climate crisis. It’s not too late to make appropriate changes, but the international community must pull together. We can’t keep pointing fingers at others and demand that they “fix” it. Everybody has to do their part. It’s hard as an individual person to know how to make an impact but we can all try to live more environmentally conscious lives and demand from our elected leaders to make the climate crisis a priority and address things on a global scale.

6: My parents’ Oktoberfest-themed birthday bash

November 6, 2019 filed under: birthday, family, Germany, home, NaBloPoMo

I am doing NaBloPoMo this month. 30 blog posts in 30 days. Come join me. #nablopomo2019

My family

Contrary to popular belief, Germans do not run around in Dirndls and Lederhosen on a daily basis, not even in Bavaria. So this is not a picture of how we usually dress. However, as it has become popular in other countries, September and October are the months of Oktoberfest-themed parties everywhere.

So my parents got with the program and organized their birthday party Oktoberfest-style. I mean, the food alone is reason enough, but my parents also asked guests to dress up in Bavarian-style clothing.

I personally don’t own a Dirndl, but I got lucky as my sister had bought a new one and said that I would probably fit into her old one. (True. It’s nice to be able to share a closet with your sister.) I was also surprised to see how many of the guest also follow suit and showed up in Dirndls and Lederhosen.

The party was on October 3, which is a public holiday in Germany, so we started the celebrations at 11 in the morning. As you do.

We were super-lucky with the weather, as it rained most days when we were in Germany. My parents had set up a pop-up canopy tent in the backyard, hoping we could make use of the extra space and luckily, it was mostly dry and sunny on the day of the party.

My parents didn’t want any gifts, as they’re planning to come visit us here in California again next year with my sister, BIL, and the kids. But nevertheless, my sister and I organized a little “presentation” that included a few games and gifts pertaining to the US-trip that they’re planning for next summer. (Honestly, I cannot wait to have them back here in California.)

The whole day was a lot of fun, but I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves.

Brothers

Sisters

Friends

We were about 35 people and the whole day was full of good food, conversation, love and laughter. We had a blast and Jon and I were so happy we could be part of it.

How to pull off a birthday surprise

October 21, 2019 filed under: birthday, family, Germany, travel

Remember when I said that I was keeping a secret?

You probably didn’t notice that it was quiet around here for the last couple of weeks. I had prepared a couple of posts to automatically post during my absence (I am not always that prepared, mind you), so you couldn’t know that Jon and I were actually spending time in a different time zone.

On October 1, J and I got on a plane to Germany to surprise my parents for their 70th birthdays. To be honest, I hadn’t really thought that it was a possibility. I had just been in Germany in May. My parents’ birthdays are 2,5 weeks apart and there was no way I could get time off long enough to be there for both their birthdays. But when my Mom called at the end of August, saying that they had changed their minds about not having a party and were planning one for October 3rd (her actual birthday and a German public holiday), the wheels in my head started turning.

70 is a milestone birthday. My parents are not getting any younger (although I’d like to think of them as perpetually young-ish). I remembered that I was in Germany for their 60th birthdays. How could I miss this big event in my parents’ life and not go? So, I decided that we would go. Just like that.

Well, not really ‘just like that’. I talked with Jon (he was instantly on board!), I talked with my supervisor at work (to request time off), I checked flight prices, and then we just went ahead and booked tickets.

When I told my sister that we were planning on coming, she was beyond thrilled, as she hadn’t really thought that this would be a possibility either. My parents, of course, had no clue that we had booked tickets. In fact, nobody knew anything besides my sister. We were so paranoid that someone would slip up and ruin the surprise.
Believe me, it was hard enough to keep the secret for about 4 weeks myself, as I talk to my parents a few times every week. I made sure to complain plenty about the fact how much we hated that we weren’t going to be there for the party, that we would miss out on the amazing food, and how much it sucked sometimes to live so far away. At the same time, I hoped that I wasn’t coming off too strong and making them suspicious.

Finally, the day of our departure was here and as far as we could tell, the secret was still safe. We arrived in Germany on October 2, my sister had arranged for someone to pick us up from the airport and take us to her house, and then we surprised my parents in the evening before the party.

We had first thought about just “showing up” at the party the next day, but a) I didn’t want to give my parents a heart attack on the day of their party and b) we didn’t want to take away the focus from their birthday celebrations, as it was their day, not ours. (I mean, plenty of people still were surprised to see us, but at least my parents weren’t completely emotionally overwhelmed and could focus on their other guests instead of just us.)

My sister drove us and the kids over to my parents’ house in the evening, but dropped us off at the street corner so that she could see them alone first (pretending that she was bringing over some last minute things for the party). We had taken a picture with the kids in her backyard earlier in the afternoon, which she was going to show them. Since J hadn’t been in Germany with me for a while, they’d hopefully notice instantly that the picture was very current.

Meanwhile, we and the kids had walked up to the front door of my parents’ house and were waiting for them to realize what was going on.

Of course, I wish I could have actually seen my parents’ faces when they caught on to what was happening. My sister tried to capture the moment while trying not to seem suspicious when she started filming them. Haha.

Finally, the door opened and they came outside. My Mom was crying and I could tell that even my Dad, even though he doesn’t get emotional quickly, was moved to see us. I’d like to think: the surprise was a definite success and it felt amazing that we had been able to pull this off!

When I asked my parents if they had suspected something… anything… they said no. Of course, they had hoped and wished that we could be there with them for their birthdays, but both of them didn’t think that it was a possibility because of my limited amount of vacation time (comparatively speaking), the fact that I had just visited for three weeks in the spring, and the fact that flying in from California is not a simple train ride into town.

I am just so, so glad we went. I cannot explain how much it means to me to know that we were able to spend this time with them. I’ll tell you all about the actual birthday party (Octoberfest-themed!) and the rest of our stay (we stayed for 11 days) in another post, but just wanted to let you in on my little secret.

My trip home

June 17, 2019 filed under: Expat stories, family, food, Germany, reminiscence, travel

I can’t believe it’s been ~~four~~ almost five weeks since I returned from my long-anticipated visit back home with my family. Time just won’t slow down and it’s been hard to get back into my blogging game (as you can tell).

I had an absolutely wonderful time and soaked up every minute. I can also say that I was able to almost check everything of my Germany Bucket List.

Like,

… spending time with my niece and nephew (and the rest of the family)

You know what was really, really nice about this trip? That I really enjoyed being at home at my parents’ house and that I was part of everyone’s daily routine. Since my sister and BIL were working and the kids were in school, we didn’t do a whole lot of “adventuring” or “vacation stuff”, but it was nice to pretend that I was always part of their daily routines for a while.

I took my niece to her riding lesson and we had a movie night at my sister’s house and various afternoons and dinners where we just hung out together.

… spending time with my best friend

I didn’t get to spend as much time with my friend as I had hoped to. Shortly after I arrived, she left for an almost two-week stay at a pain clinic (for chronic headaches) where a spot had just opened up. Of course, she had to take it. I wish I could have spent more time with her and build her up a bit more, but I am glad we got to see each other at all. Every hour is precious.

… attending one of my best friends’ wedding

I was stoked that I was able to attend one of my best friend’s wedding during my visit. We met many moons ago on the Internet, but have become really close over the years and to be able to be there for her (and her new husband) on their wedding day was such a treat (for me and for her!). (Separate recap to come.)

… my nephew’s first communion.

Last time I visited for my niece’s first communion, so of course I had to make sure that I am there for my nephew’s as well. So glad I could make this happen. (Separate recap to come.)

… eating all the food

My Mom went above and beyond to fulfill all my food cravings. Every day, I made a new request for lunch or dinner and she made it all.

Mettbrötchen (rolls with freshly minced meat, salt, pepper and onions – OMG!) – pork roast with crackling with sauerkraut and mashed potatoes – Schnibbelskuchen (baked potato wedges with eggs on whole grain bread with sugar beet syrup)

potato pancakes – green bean soup with sausages – herring in cream sauce with potatoes and bacon bits

meatballs with kohlrabi and potatoes – waffles with strawberries and ice cream – bratwurst with red cabbage and potatoes

Not pictured: goulash and dumplings, pizza, and ALL THE FRESH BREAD + ROLLS all day, every day.

… walking with my Mom

My Mom has been getting into a regular morning walk routine since I last visited and I did not only join her for one, but many walks (I think five!). It was so great to get out and walk with her, which also gave us the opportunity to talk and just spend time together. I ended up only running once, but the walks were far more important to me this time.

… going for a run with my cousin (and maybe my sister?)

Unfortunately that didn’t happen and I blame two things: a) bad weather (it rained a lot while I was there!) and b) timing (my cousin and my sister had to work, so there wasn’t as much opportunity), but I still got out for a run around my hometown!

… working out with my Dad

Unfortunately, that also didn’t happen, because my Dad had issues with his shoulder and couldn’t go to the gym with me (and subsequently had surgery scheduled two weeks after I left).

… having some quality time with my sister

I got to spend two nights at my sister’s house and I wish I could do that more often. It’s just so nice to hang out, sleep in the same bed and then have breakfast together the next morning (including fancy out-of-the-shower-towel-turbans, ha!) – as if we do that every Saturday. I mean, at least it felt like that… even if in reality, it’s such a rare event.

… seeing an old friend from high school

Timing was difficult because she had to work and my weekends were already filled up with family stuff, but I did get to see my high school friend for a few hours one evening during the week and I am so glad we both were able to make the time to reconnect.

… spending a day with a dear friend in Köln

I did get to meet up with one of my longest, dearest friends in Cologne again and we got to spend some time in our favorite city. (Separate recap to come.)

… seeing a few other dear (family) friends (BONUS!)

I was able to squeeze in a couple more friends (I got to have coffee with an old pen friend that I hadn’t seen in 20 years and I also was able to reconnect with a dear friend, who lives in Hamburg now) and we saw two family friends for a few hours and I am so glad we were able to make it happen.

… shopping for items to bring back to my US home.

Of course, I did shop for some stuff to bring back home (I believe, every expat does!) and even though my must-get list has gotten shorter, there is definitely a few things I always bring back. Wanna know what these things are? I might write a separate post about it, if you’re interested. (Or you can hop on Instagram and Facebook to see the “Germany hauls” some people post, although I am not bringing half of that stuff that other people are bringing back. Just sayin’.)

My time back home was packed full of awesome people, awesome food and I returned to the US with a really full heart.