theinbetweenismine

just a girl living the expat life

Confessions

filed under: about me


photo credit: Stephanie Harvey via Unsplash

My blog friend Stephany posted her confessions the other day and it was such a fun, interesting read that I thought I’d hop on the bandwagon and share my own list of confessions. Are we good with that? Maybe it will make you want to share some of your own as well.

1) I am 100% a solo runner, which doesn’t mean I don’t love running with other people. Contradictory? Maybe, but not really. I know how other people always rave about running groups or running with a workout buddy, but I prefer to be in my own head when I run and do my own thing most of the time. I don’t want to talk and I don’t want to adjust to someone else’s pace. When I am in the zone, I just want to keep plugging away. I will happily make exceptions though when I get the chance to run with a friend.

2) I’ve never gotten my earlobes pierced (only my right auricle when I was 22). Sometimes I have earring-envy.

3) I don’t take baths. Ever. Well, maybe not ever, but it’s a very, very rare occurrence. It might have to do with the fact that I don’t have a fancy bathtub (which would probably change my mind a little), but it mostly has to do with the fact that I don’t enjoy sitting in hot water, waiting for my skin to shrivel up, while I could be doing other, more important things. I am usually a quick in-and-out-of-the-shower-kinda gal.  

4) If there is one thing I haven’t gotten tired of during the pandemic, it’s cooking and baking. I love preparing meals, trying new recipes, and knowing EXACTLY what goes in the pot. Going out to eat is fun, of course, but half of the time, we don’t know what we’re putting in our bodies.

5) I have yet to find an American pickle that meets my standards. The only kind I’ll eat is cornichons. I don’t know why the regular pickles are so different from German pickles, but if you tried a German pickle, you won’t go back. (Make sure they come out of the fridge, for some extra crunch!).

6) I do NOT believe that everything happens for a reason. There, I said it. I know, this phrase is happily applied to all kind of life situations and maybe sometimes it helps to think that way, especially if we can retrospectively talk ourselves into believing that something bad had to happen, so something better could come along, but I can truly not see any reason for horrible, debilitating illnesses and trauma that so many people experience.

7) I really like the idea of winding down with a glass of wine, but it always ends up being a cup of tea for me.

8) I love coffee shops, but I rarely go to one. We have had this new coffee shop literally around the corner from my house that opened before the pandemic hit and I’ve been there exactly once. I keep thinking of stopping by there after my Saturday morning run, but then I end up just going home and making my own coffee.

9) I got into a chat with the check-out clerk at Trader Joe’s last week and we talked about pandemic shopping habits. She asked if I was going to stick with the bi-weekly grocery run and I didn’t hesitate to reply with a resounding YES. (I am pretty convinced that I will, but I am reserving the right to change my mind.)

10) I am more of a judgmental person than I care to admit. I usually don’t share these opinions (or only with selected people), but four years of Trump and the pandemic have definitely uncovered that people (including me) can get pretty judgmental of each other in stressful situations. But then maybe, it’s human nature to be a little bit judgmental. What do you think? 

Which confession surprised you the most?

Who I am (at the moment)

filed under: about me, Who I am

Once upon a time, I used to share little glimpses into my brain on a regular basis. I thought it was time to maybe do that again. 

I am …

… loving my morning runs. If you recall, I ran in the mornings all through the last pandemic summer and then kinda stopped when the darker season started. I got my spin bike and only ran 1-2 times on the weekends when the weather permitted. Now that it’s light enough early again, I started running before work again and it’s just so, so nice out between 6-7 am! You should try it!

… thrilled that I was able to harvest my first batch of home grown lettuce this week. It’s only been 6 weeks since I planted the seeds but the weather has been so warm already that they sprouted and grew so fast. I can’t wait for the zucchini and tomato plants to start producing something.

… so excited that more and more people are getting vaccinated. Every time another pictures pops up on Social Media, I smile from ear to ear. I really think that this will get us back to a life that feels more normal and less scary. Keep this up, people!

… constantly on the lookout for new “projects”. I don’t know about you, but my brain always likes to be busy with one thing or another. I tend to get obsessed (in a healthy way, I think) with new ideas and new plans and then spend every free minute researching and learning about that “new thing” or putting it into action. It can be an organizational task (as I mentioned before I am tracking all our grocery purchases in a spread sheet this year), a challenge (I am doing a 365 Peloton streak), or learning a new hobby (like my new obsession with house plants). Does your brain work like that?

… cautiously hoping that someday I will get all of my gazillion of questions answered. Like, why is there no tuna pizza in this country? (I mean, seriously!) Or, why is it that when one person wins, another has to lose? I know, it’s a lot to ask, but there have to be answers. There must be answers, right?

… back on the reading bandwagon and so excited about it (let’s not jinx it by saying it too loud!).

… looking forward to seeing my mother-in-law this weekend for the first time in 18 months. Now that we’re all vaccinated, we felt safe having her come up for the weekend. 

Who are you at the moment?

Tuesday Topics | What I learned about myself during the pandemic

filed under: about me, Tuesday Topics

This week, I am linking up with  Kookyrunner and Zenaida  for Tuesday Topics and we’re talking about what I learned about myself during the pandemic.

Uh, we’re going deep, guys. I am sure the last 11 months have revealed some surprising – and maybe not so surprising – things about ourselves. 

I am a homebody, but I still miss going out.

Quarantine has been relatively easy for me. I love being at home. I am not somebody who has to be out and about all the time, but I do miss the freedom to decide to go somewhere or meet with someone whenever I want.

It takes me a long time to get bored at home.

As in, I have not gotten remotely bored during the restrictions. This is not to say that I haven’t been paralyzed (here and there) by the news – COVID- and politics-related – or that I don’t wish I could do things outside our home, but I have never been someone who goes stir crazy when stuck at home. I always find lots of fun and/or practical things I can fill my time with.

Two-week meal plans are just as easy as one-week meal plans.

I used to meal plan for one week and shop once a week. When the stay-at-home order hit, we decided to minimize the times we wanted to leave home and expose ourselves to the virus and switched to a bi-weekly shopping schedule. The big American fridges (ours is actually on the smaller side – ha!) can just about hold enough groceries for two weeks and it’s been working out great. I don’t know if I’ll ever go back to shopping weekly. 

I am adaptable.

Well, that’s not really something new I learned about myself. I knew that I am able to adapt to new situations, but I am surprised how little discomfort it has caused me. I had days in the beginning (and still now sometimes) where I felt tired and drained by *everything*  that was going on, but it was more the mental aspect of the unknown and not so much the physical aspect of our new situation. 

I can be very judgmental.

I usually go by the motto “live and let live” and don’t really care about how other people live their lives, but I realized that during the pandemic, I am pretty judgmental when I see people not abide by the rules: social distancing, mask wearing, not gathering in groups, all that good stuff. It seems so easy to me to do these things to keep everyone as safe as possible.

We’re in this mess that we’re in because people feel that they can just go about their damn day without considering other people around them, and while I know that I only have control about what I personally decide to do (or not do), it upsets me that we’re having this uphill battle (for months now!) because people don’t listen to the scientists. People complain about the stay at home orders and restrictions, but what it comes down to is personal responsibility and I think we could be in a better spot if people could sit tight for a little while and don’t insist on traveling and eating out and gathering in groups during a pandemic.

I really like working from home.

I never thought that this was something I wanted to do, but working from home has “slowed down” my everyday life considerably, and I kinda like that. I am not rushing out the door early in the morning. I’ve enjoyed going for early morning runs (or just hop on my spin bike) and then be able to shower and just plop down in front of the computer, instead of getting all ready and grab all my stuff to head to the office (and I don’t even have a long commute!).

I don’t *think* I am saying that I’d want to work from home forever, but a part-time work-from-home schedule would be nice.

What have you learned about yourself during the pandemic?

21: Letters to the Universe

filed under: about me, NaBloPoMo

I am doing NaBloPoMo this month. 30 blog posts in 30 days. Come join me. #nablopomo2020

Letters to the Universe

Dear 2020 – you’ve been a real brat. I know, I know, Covid is one thing. Maybe that wasn’t your fault entirely, but you’ve been piling on big time on a lot of people that are dear to my heart, and I kinda had it with you, TBH. Can you just stop being so awful? Can we at least have the holiday season without any more bad news?  

Dear Covid – while I am at it, could you just go tf away?

Dear fellow citizens – please act responsibly during the holidays. I know, it’s hard to not see family and friends, but remember there are lots of people who sometimes – for other reasons – can’t see family or friends for the holidays (like me!) and they make it through the holidays somehow, too. Which means, so can you. Isn’t it worth it to you to bite the bullet and skip family gatherings this year, so you can see your family members for many more years to come?

Dear body – thank you for being healthy and strong and (mostly) willing to do what I ask you to. You fall asleep easily (most of the time), you haven’t given me any worrisome aches and pains, and you generally happily support my active lifestyle. I know, sometimes I am not kind and I could treat you better, but I try to not take you for granted, ever.

Dear Tr*mp –  for the love of God, concede and go away already. Don’t make this harder (and more embarrassing) than it already is. You lost. Be a man. It’s time to face the music.  

Dear holidays  – I am hoping you’ll be able to make up a tiny bit for everything that’s been hard and awful this year. Even if we’re all doing things socially distanced. Let’s make it nice. Are you ready?

Dear fellow NaBloPoMo-ers – how are you doing? We’ve made it 2/3 through the month and it looks like you’ve all been doing a great job! 

What letters would you like to put out into the universe today?

11: Q & A with San

filed under: about me, NaBloPoMo

I am doing NaBloPoMo this month. 30 blog posts in 30 days. Come join me. #nablopomo2020

A week or so ago, I gathered some questions for a Q & A session on my blog instagram account (come follow me and never miss a post!). I know sometimes we have questions for people that we never get to ask (randomly), so I thought it would be fun to see what’s on your guys’ mind. I am going to answer these questions today. And if you didn’t have the chance to ask a question yet or just thought of one, drop it in the comments!

Have you ever considered creating a backup plan and return to Germany in the last 4 years?

Very good question. To be honest, Germany is – and has always been – a backup plan in my mind, but especially during the last four years. Jon and I have seriously talked about what we would do if Trump was going to be re-elected and we frequently talk about relocating (one of these days). I feel very grateful for the fact that I have a second passport and a “way out”, if it ever became necessary.

Are you and your hubs both working from home during this mess? How’s it going?

I am very lucky that I was able to transition to a full-time work from home schedule when we went into lockdown mode in March. My agency had a very generous flexible work schedule policy to begin with, but it really came into full force when we were all sent home to telework at the beginning of the pandemic. I have to say, it’s been going great and I’ve really enjoyed working from home (despite the circumstances that led to it). I wrote about it a little more in depth here.

What do you love about running?

Oh, there is so much to love about running. Running has become on of my favorite forms of me-time. I put in my ear plugs, listen to some music or a podcast, and go. I love being outside, seeing other people be out and about, and just moving my body. It clears my head like hardly anything else.  I know that when I am cranky, I have to get outside. 

Another reason, why I love running? It burns calories. I love and enjoy food and running affords me the luxury to eat some extra calories. I am not much of snacker, but if we’re having a good meal, you can bet that I am getting seconds. 

Most importantly though? Running makes me happy – more often than not, it puts a huge smile on my face. I just feel good after most of my runs (even though the run itself might not always feel good). That might seem odd, but that’s a fact. I feel strong, healthy, and capable and just physically and mentally in a good place after a run.

How did you end up in Northern California?

I wrote about how I came to California before, but this is the short version: I participated in an exchange program through my university in Germany and ended up spending 6 months here in Northern California. I originally wanted to spend a semester in New England, specifically Boston, but that wasn’t in the cards as my university only had an exchange program that could place me here in California, but it was truly the second-best option and I am very glad I came! This is where I met my husband and this is where I’ve lived for the better part of the last 16 years.

Will you continue to work remotely (maybe forever)?

The answer to this is: I don’t know. There is a lot of work in our agency that can’t be done remotely (mainly lab and fieldwork), but there’s definitely been talk on how to extend our work from home capabilities in the future. I think a lot of people enjoy the flexibility that the remote work has afforded them (me included) and while I do enjoy getting together with colleagues and collaborating in person, I would not mind keeping a part-time work from home schedule once the pandemic is under control and things return to normal. 

What’s your favorite part of your home?

Definitely our backyard. It’s been so nice – especially this summer during a pandemic – to have our own private little outdoor space that we could use to relax and unwind. I cannot imagine how hard it must have been for families to be in lockdown mode without having access to an outdoor space. When we moved from our house back into a rental situation, a private outdoor space was very high on my priority list. 

I hope I answered the questions to your satisfaction. If you have any other questions, let me know!

2: Five things you didn’t know about me

filed under: about me, NaBloPoMo

I am doing NaBloPoMo this month. 30 blog posts in 30 days. Come join me. #nablopomo2020

I’m starting off this blog posting month by sharing 5 things you might not know about me; as an introduction for any new readers (come say hi!), and to share some new random facts for anyone who’s been around for a while longer. I have shared random facts in previous years, if you want to find out more (here, here, here, and here).

1. Hi, I am Sandra – but I go by San on the Internet. I grew up in Germany but moved to the US in my mid-20’s. I live in Northern California with my husband Jon, who I met during an exchange semester here in the States many moons ago. I wrote a little bit about my move to the US a few years ago, and about the decision to come to California in the first place. ,

2. I am terrible at making decisions. I’d like to think that generally I “know what I want”, but I often let other people make the decisions. I prefer not to impose my choices on other people, which often leads to other people imposing their choices on me. That is not a big deal when it comes to picking a restaurant for dinner (I am usually cool with almost anything), but is not so good when it comes to decisions that impact me more heavily than where I eat a meal on any particular night. Something I have been – and will still be – working on.

3. Things that (rarely) come up in conversation, unless your microwave breaks and you tell your friend about the dilemma about how much you rely on the microwave every day: yes, I heat up the milk for my coffee in the morning. I drink my coffee “café au lait”-style (with a milk-coffee ratio of about 40:60). And since I like my coffee hot, I have to heat up the milk. Makes sense, right? Tell me I am not the only one.

4. I theoretically like the idea of dressing up and wearing high heels every once in a while, but you’ll probably almost always see me in shorts and sneakers or sandals. I feel like I almost never have the opportunity to get dressed up, this year even less than usual.

5. I’ve been friends with my oldest friend since Kindergarten. We both ‘scattered’ around the world after high school, but whenever we get together, it’s like we saw each other just yesterday. I miss having friends close by with whom you’re at ease like that.

Share a random fact about you in the comments!

27: Who I am (at the moment)

filed under: about me, NaBloPoMo, Who I am


I have, again, dropped the ball on the ‘who I am (at the moment)’ posts, but today is a good day to change that, don’t you agree? So here’s a little glimpse into my brain these days…

I am …

… cautiously excited about my work situation, as I will start working on a new project soon. It’s a project that is more aligned with my skills and interests in comparison to what I have been working on for the past few months, so I am very motivated to get started. 

… so happy that it finally rained. California really needed it (and will hopefully get more).

… tired of feeling like I have no time for anything when I know that this is really not true. But the feeling of having gotten stuff done has very little to do with actual accomplishments, but with perception; and my perception stupidly tells me that more often than not my weekends run out before my (want-)to-do-list is accomplished.

… still running regularly (who’s turkey trotting tomorrow?) but I haven’t stuck to a training plan since my last half marathon in July and so I’ve been winging it in regards to distance and effort in the last few months. But, I am still showing up, however ‘unorganized’ it might be right now, and that’s what matters. 

… incredibly upset about some very sad news that I received from a friend. I wish there was anything I could do to make things better.

… starting to get excited about the holidays. As in previous years, it felt like the holiday season snuck up on me and I realized this week that there are only 5 weeks left in 2019. That’s crazy to me, but let’s just focus on this busy, but exciting time of the year and enjoy the heck out of it. Are you with me?

…  a little bummed that I won’t be going home for Christmas. I should be kind of used to it now, as I haven’t been home for Christmas in 5 years,  and I really shouldn’t complain, as I went to Germany not once, but twice this year, but it’s still doesn’t change the fact that it will be forever hard to not see my family for the holidays.

… looking forward to the long Thanksgiving weekend, where I plan to equal parts relax, but also kick my my Christmas organizing into high gear. I actually enjoy the process and hope that it will help me get into the holiday spirit. 

Who are you at the moment?

I am doing NaBloPoMo this month. 30 blog posts in 30 days. Come join me. #nablopomo2019

18: Letters to the Universe

filed under: about me, NaBloPoMo


Dear Sunshine – it’s been really nice to have you around for a little longer than usual and I wouldn’t mind for you to show up again every once in a while throughout the winter months, but you also gotta let others take the lead a little bit.

Dear Rain – I don’t know if you’ve been on some tropical vacation or something and haven’t gotten the memo, but it’s past the middle of November now and we need you to come back and put Sunshine in its place. Please and thank you.

Dear coffee – I love you. That’s all.

Dear Holiday Season – I tend to embrace you and I am looking forward to you, but I don’t want to hear Christmas music, buy Christmas treats, or see Christmas tree pictures yet. If you’re an early adopter this year, more power to you. At this moment though, I am not quite ready.

Dear Trump –  Nobody really wants to know what you have to say, because there have been so many lies coming out of your mouth and really, you don’t know anything (even if you claim you are the expert in everything). Just STFU for a change. 

Der fellow NaBloPoMo warriors –  we’ve made it over half-way through the month already! How are you doing? Has it been easy, has it been hard blogging every day? Come on, let’s do this. I am convinced that we can finish strong!

What letters would you like to put out into the universe today?!

I am doing NaBloPoMo this month. 30 blog posts in 30 days. Come join me. #nablopomo2019

13: Five current pet peeves

filed under: about me, NaBloPoMo


Photo by David Klein on Unsplash

When I can’t think of anything else to blog about, I like to share some of my pet peeves. Because why not. Don’t tell me you don’t like to talk about your pet peeves (and I would definitely like to hear what drives you up the wall). 

1. People who don’t respond to email. Especially at work. I hate to keep sending ‘reminders’, because then the same people usually get annoyed with my nagging follow-ups, but good god, can you just respond already?

2. Recently, someone, that I didn’t recognize as someone I know, requested to follow my private (!) account on Instagram. I looked up her account, only to realize that she lives in the area where I grew up. I wondered, if I did know her after all or if we had mutual friends, so I made an exception and accepted her request. I sent her a nice message, inquiring if we knew each other. She only confirmed her hometown. Two days later, she unfollowed me again. I sent her another message to find out if she indeed did what I thought she did: request to follow me, so I follow her back, only to then unfollow me again. Guys, she didn’t even deny it. She flat out said that she was trying to get more followers. Say what? I thought that was a big no-no, and by requesting to follow a private account no less! Major pet peeve!!!

3. IG stories. I know I am pretty much alone in this (I think), but I have a really hard time with Instagram Stories, especially accounts that document their whole daily life on there. (How? How and when do you have time for this?) If that is you, no hard feelings and more power to you. I wish I had the time and bandwidth to keep up with everyone that way, but I don’t. If I open IG stories and see a gazillion snippets at the top, most times, I just close out of stories again. I still come to Instagram for the photo content first and foremost.

4. When someone says to me “you look tired”. (I know most people mean well, when they ask that, and yes, maybe I do look tired sometimes – don’t we all? –  but honestly, I often just want to scream back “I already went to the gym before work this morning, what have you accomplished before showing up here?)

5. People with an inflated sense of their own importance. (Know anyone like that?)

What is one of your current pet peeves?

I am doing NaBloPoMo this month. 30 blog posts in 30 days. Come join me. #nablopomo2019

11: Q & A with San

filed under: about me, NaBloPoMo

In my NaBloPoMo introductory post, I asked for people  to ask me questions and a handful of you did (thank you). I am going to answer these questions today. And if you didn’t have the chance to ask a question yet or just thought of one, the form is still open. Or, you can drop a question in the comments.)

Why are you so AMAZING??? <3 

Haha, whoever wrote this (I should have asked for the submitter’s names), THANK YOU. And the answer is: I don’t know, I guess I just am. *insertsassyhandtippingemoji*

Who are the people you’re most excited about in terms of the 2020 Democratic presidential hopefuls?

That’s a good question. I don’t think I’ve nailed down a front runner yet, but I am definitely most excited about Elizabeth Warren right now. I always liked her a lot and I feel like she’s genuinely interested in working for the people (she’s proven that over and over again as a Senator). I also very much agree with Bernie Sanders’ platform, although I am not sure that he’s the best candidate now. It’s difficult since there is such a vast field of candidates and we have to keep the question in mind “who can beat Donald Trump”? Obviously, I think anyone (and for sure, any of the Democratic candidates) is more qualified than Trump, but that alone – apparently – doesn’t win someone the presidency these days.

You’ve had your blog since 2004 which is awesome. Is it tricky to keep your online space your own while sharing your thoughts with fellow bloggers and readers from all over the world? I’m saving more of my personal posts to drafts instead of posting in case someone I know reads them and feel like I’m editing myself. What advice would you give bloggers for finding a balance?

My posts have definitely changed and shifted since the early days. Back in 2004, my blog was mostly an online diary to keep in touch with people overseas and let them know what’s going on in my daily life. I am still writing about my daily life, but the format of my posts have definitely shifted. I definitely know the dilemma of how much to share and what to keep personal. There are many, many drafts that don’t make it onto the blog. However, I feel that personal posts are important to connect with other people and to be authentic.

I always ask myself if it would bother me if there was someone out there who read my posts. If the answer is yes, I might re-work my post or leave it off the blog altogether (because in the end, I can’t control who finds my public blog and reads it). However, I don’t try to censor myself too much otherwise, because I want people to get a genuine picture of who I am and what this blog is about. One thing I have never done is try to adhere to other people’s “blog rules” to try and gain more followers, or try to run a “niche blog”. This is not what I want to do with this blog. I am here for genuine connections and making friends.

How do you like your new home?

I love it. Mostly. I mentioned before that selling our house last year and deciding to rent again was a decision I had mixed feelings about. I don’t want to lie, I do miss our house sometimes. We downsized, which is not always a bad thing, but we gave up a bedroom and our apartment is definitely not as nicely updated as our house was. (I still miss my kitchen every day!) But I also really love a lot about our new place. I love the neighborhood, I live (even) closer to my work, we still have a small backyard, a garage, and a driveway. Good news: I am (finally) planning to share a little apartment tour later this month (so come back for that!). 

Do you have any trips/vacations planned? If so, where to?

We just returned from Germany to visit my family and next weekend, we’re going down to SoCal to visit Jon’s family. I wouldn’t call it a vacation, as we’re only going for a few days, but it’s nice to be able to take  a weekend trip to see them. After that though, we haven’t nailed anything down, although we’re trying to decide on more weekend trips in the not too distant future.

I am doing NaBloPoMo this month. 30 blog posts in 30 days. Come join me. #nablopomo2019