theinbetweenismine

just a girl living the expat life

27: Who I am (at the moment)

filed under: about me, NaBloPoMo, Who I am


I have, again, dropped the ball on the ‘who I am (at the moment)’ posts, but today is a good day to change that, don’t you agree? So here’s a little glimpse into my brain these days…

I am …

… cautiously excited about my work situation, as I will start working on a new project soon. It’s a project that is more aligned with my skills and interests in comparison to what I have been working on for the past few months, so I am very motivated to get started. 

… so happy that it finally rained. California really needed it (and will hopefully get more).

… tired of feeling like I have no time for anything when I know that this is really not true. But the feeling of having gotten stuff done has very little to do with actual accomplishments, but with perception; and my perception stupidly tells me that more often than not my weekends run out before my (want-)to-do-list is accomplished.

… still running regularly (who’s turkey trotting tomorrow?) but I haven’t stuck to a training plan since my last half marathon in July and so I’ve been winging it in regards to distance and effort in the last few months. But, I am still showing up, however ‘unorganized’ it might be right now, and that’s what matters. 

… incredibly upset about some very sad news that I received from a friend. I wish there was anything I could do to make things better.

… starting to get excited about the holidays. As in previous years, it felt like the holiday season snuck up on me and I realized this week that there are only 5 weeks left in 2019. That’s crazy to me, but let’s just focus on this busy, but exciting time of the year and enjoy the heck out of it. Are you with me?

…  a little bummed that I won’t be going home for Christmas. I should be kind of used to it now, as I haven’t been home for Christmas in 5 years,  and I really shouldn’t complain, as I went to Germany not once, but twice this year, but it’s still doesn’t change the fact that it will be forever hard to not see my family for the holidays.

… looking forward to the long Thanksgiving weekend, where I plan to equal parts relax, but also kick my my Christmas organizing into high gear. I actually enjoy the process and hope that it will help me get into the holiday spirit. 

Who are you at the moment?

I am doing NaBloPoMo this month. 30 blog posts in 30 days. Come join me. #nablopomo2019

18: Letters to the Universe

filed under: about me, NaBloPoMo


Dear Sunshine – it’s been really nice to have you around for a little longer than usual and I wouldn’t mind for you to show up again every once in a while throughout the winter months, but you also gotta let others take the lead a little bit.

Dear Rain – I don’t know if you’ve been on some tropical vacation or something and haven’t gotten the memo, but it’s past the middle of November now and we need you to come back and put Sunshine in its place. Please and thank you.

Dear coffee – I love you. That’s all.

Dear Holiday Season – I tend to embrace you and I am looking forward to you, but I don’t want to hear Christmas music, buy Christmas treats, or see Christmas tree pictures yet. If you’re an early adopter this year, more power to you. At this moment though, I am not quite ready.

Dear Trump –  Nobody really wants to know what you have to say, because there have been so many lies coming out of your mouth and really, you don’t know anything (even if you claim you are the expert in everything). Just STFU for a change. 

Der fellow NaBloPoMo warriors –  we’ve made it over half-way through the month already! How are you doing? Has it been easy, has it been hard blogging every day? Come on, let’s do this. I am convinced that we can finish strong!

What letters would you like to put out into the universe today?!

I am doing NaBloPoMo this month. 30 blog posts in 30 days. Come join me. #nablopomo2019

13: Five current pet peeves

filed under: about me, NaBloPoMo


Photo by David Klein on Unsplash

When I can’t think of anything else to blog about, I like to share some of my pet peeves. Because why not. Don’t tell me you don’t like to talk about your pet peeves (and I would definitely like to hear what drives you up the wall). 

1. People who don’t respond to email. Especially at work. I hate to keep sending ‘reminders’, because then the same people usually get annoyed with my nagging follow-ups, but good god, can you just respond already?

2. Recently, someone, that I didn’t recognize as someone I know, requested to follow my private (!) account on Instagram. I looked up her account, only to realize that she lives in the area where I grew up. I wondered, if I did know her after all or if we had mutual friends, so I made an exception and accepted her request. I sent her a nice message, inquiring if we knew each other. She only confirmed her hometown. Two days later, she unfollowed me again. I sent her another message to find out if she indeed did what I thought she did: request to follow me, so I follow her back, only to then unfollow me again. Guys, she didn’t even deny it. She flat out said that she was trying to get more followers. Say what? I thought that was a big no-no, and by requesting to follow a private account no less! Major pet peeve!!!

3. IG stories. I know I am pretty much alone in this (I think), but I have a really hard time with Instagram Stories, especially accounts that document their whole daily life on there. (How? How and when do you have time for this?) If that is you, no hard feelings and more power to you. I wish I had the time and bandwidth to keep up with everyone that way, but I don’t. If I open IG stories and see a gazillion snippets at the top, most times, I just close out of stories again. I still come to Instagram for the photo content first and foremost.

4. When someone says to me “you look tired”. (I know most people mean well, when they ask that, and yes, maybe I do look tired sometimes – don’t we all? –  but honestly, I often just want to scream back “I already went to the gym before work this morning, what have you accomplished before showing up here?)

5. People with an inflated sense of their own importance. (Know anyone like that?)

What is one of your current pet peeves?

I am doing NaBloPoMo this month. 30 blog posts in 30 days. Come join me. #nablopomo2019

11: Q & A with San

filed under: about me, NaBloPoMo

In my NaBloPoMo introductory post, I asked for people  to ask me questions and a handful of you did (thank you). I am going to answer these questions today. And if you didn’t have the chance to ask a question yet or just thought of one, the form is still open. Or, you can drop a question in the comments.)

Why are you so AMAZING??? <3 

Haha, whoever wrote this (I should have asked for the submitter’s names), THANK YOU. And the answer is: I don’t know, I guess I just am. *insertsassyhandtippingemoji*

Who are the people you’re most excited about in terms of the 2020 Democratic presidential hopefuls?

That’s a good question. I don’t think I’ve nailed down a front runner yet, but I am definitely most excited about Elizabeth Warren right now. I always liked her a lot and I feel like she’s genuinely interested in working for the people (she’s proven that over and over again as a Senator). I also very much agree with Bernie Sanders’ platform, although I am not sure that he’s the best candidate now. It’s difficult since there is such a vast field of candidates and we have to keep the question in mind “who can beat Donald Trump”? Obviously, I think anyone (and for sure, any of the Democratic candidates) is more qualified than Trump, but that alone – apparently – doesn’t win someone the presidency these days.

You’ve had your blog since 2004 which is awesome. Is it tricky to keep your online space your own while sharing your thoughts with fellow bloggers and readers from all over the world? I’m saving more of my personal posts to drafts instead of posting in case someone I know reads them and feel like I’m editing myself. What advice would you give bloggers for finding a balance?

My posts have definitely changed and shifted since the early days. Back in 2004, my blog was mostly an online diary to keep in touch with people overseas and let them know what’s going on in my daily life. I am still writing about my daily life, but the format of my posts have definitely shifted. I definitely know the dilemma of how much to share and what to keep personal. There are many, many drafts that don’t make it onto the blog. However, I feel that personal posts are important to connect with other people and to be authentic.

I always ask myself if it would bother me if there was someone out there who read my posts. If the answer is yes, I might re-work my post or leave it off the blog altogether (because in the end, I can’t control who finds my public blog and reads it). However, I don’t try to censor myself too much otherwise, because I want people to get a genuine picture of who I am and what this blog is about. One thing I have never done is try to adhere to other people’s “blog rules” to try and gain more followers, or try to run a “niche blog”. This is not what I want to do with this blog. I am here for genuine connections and making friends.

How do you like your new home?

I love it. Mostly. I mentioned before that selling our house last year and deciding to rent again was a decision I had mixed feelings about. I don’t want to lie, I do miss our house sometimes. We downsized, which is not always a bad thing, but we gave up a bedroom and our apartment is definitely not as nicely updated as our house was. (I still miss my kitchen every day!) But I also really love a lot about our new place. I love the neighborhood, I live (even) closer to my work, we still have a small backyard, a garage, and a driveway. Good news: I am (finally) planning to share a little apartment tour later this month (so come back for that!). 

Do you have any trips/vacations planned? If so, where to?

We just returned from Germany to visit my family and next weekend, we’re going down to SoCal to visit Jon’s family. I wouldn’t call it a vacation, as we’re only going for a few days, but it’s nice to be able to take  a weekend trip to see them. After that though, we haven’t nailed anything down, although we’re trying to decide on more weekend trips in the not too distant future.

I am doing NaBloPoMo this month. 30 blog posts in 30 days. Come join me. #nablopomo2019

9: Little everyday luxuries

filed under: about me, lists!, NaBloPoMo

Photo by Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash

Do you ever think about the little things in your day-to-day life that make your day a little better and brighter? I am sure that these things vary from person to person, but I am sure everybody has things or little rituals that help them relax or get through the day a little easier.

For me, some of those things are:

A scented candle. I don’t know what it is about candles, but especially now during the cooler, darker months of the year, lighting a candle in the evening is such a calming ritual. 

A blank page in my bullet journal. I must admit that it’s been an on-again-off-again relationship between me and my bullet journal lately. I haven’t been as consistent with my weekly spreads as I want to be, but I am always happy to open my journal and have a blank page in front of me that I can fill with current thoughts or to-do lists, which in turn makes me feel more organized.

A hot cup of freshly brewed coffee. Honestly, isn’t that the best thing in the morning? The thought of that first cup makes getting up early worthwhile! I also totally bribe myself with coffee if I get my workout out of the way first.

Ordering takeout. As much as I like to cook, sometimes it’s just nice to come home and plop down on the couch with a warm meal that we picked up from somewhere else.

An episode (or two) of Friends. If everything else fails, watching Friends will pick me up like nothing else. Always.

Pajama pants and hoodies. I don’t belong to the group of people who have to take off their jeans right the minute that they walk in the door (I actually find them comfortable), but I still usually change into pajama pants and a hoodie when I get home. Especially, if I know that I don’t have to leave the house again.

Hitting the snooze button. I know some people argue that snoozing is not good for you, but I don’t actually sleep between my snooze alarms. Most days, I am awake before my first alarm even goes off, but I love to just snuggle into the blanket for another 9 minutes (why nine?) and enjoy the coziness of my bed before getting up.

Knitting. A friend once said to me that knitting in the evening sounded like extra “work”, not relaxation. I guess, one could feel that way if they’re a beginner and (still) have to really concentrate and practice this new skill. For me, however, knitting is a very calming, relaxing activity at the end of the day and I just love being busy with my hands. 

A hot cup of tea before bed. I drink tea year-round, but especially during this time of the year, a hot cup of tea in the evenings is a must. It helps me relax, wind-down and warm me up (when it’s cold outside, which it isn’t really yet and it’s November! Where are you, fall?)

What is one of your little everyday luxuries?

I am doing NaBloPoMo this month. 30 blog posts in 30 days. Come join me. #nablopomo2019

2: Five things you might not know about me

filed under: about me, NaBloPoMo

I am doing NaBloPoMo this month. 30 blog posts in 30 days. Come join me. #nablopomo2019

I’m starting off this blog posting month again by sharing 5 things you might not know about me; as an introduction for any new readers (hi!), and to share some random facts for anyone who’s been around for a while. I have shared random facts in previous years, if you want to find out more (here, here, and here).

1.Hi, I am San and I live in Northern California with my husband Jon, who I met during an exchange semester here in the States. I grew up in Germany, but have lived in the U.S. for almost two decades now. I wrote a little bit about my life-changing move to the US, here,  a couple of years ago and about the decision to come to California in the first place, here. Crazy to think how one tiny decision can change the trajectory of your life.

2. I work as a geographer for a well-known government agency and I love the outdoors. I don’t get out into the field with my job as much as I’d like, but it’s still fun and interesting work (most of the time) and I try to get out to the NPs on my own time whenever I can.

3. I am crazy loyal, sometimes to a fault, I might say. I am getting better at setting boundaries and letting some relationships, that don’t serve me anymore, go, but generally I tend to hang on to things and people.

4. I haven’t been single since the age of 16. Sometimes I wish I would have had a period of singledom, because I do believe spending some time alone without a partner for a while can be a good experience for anyone, but that’s just not how life happened for me. I can’t say that I envy people who have to date in this day and age (I am looking at you, social media and dating apps), so I guess, I shouldn’t complain and embrace my own journey. Besides, I have the experience of a LDR to show for. It was definitely a learning opportunity, but I wouldn’t recommend it.

5. I used to have a skiing instructor’s license from the DSV (German Ski Association). I studied P.E. and was able to obtain the license in college. I wasn’t able to maintain it though because it needs to be officially renewed every few years, but I am still proud I had it at one point in my life. 

Tell me one random interesting thing about you!

Tap, tap… is this thing on?

filed under: about me, Germany, travel, USA

 

Hi strangers. I am writing to you from the fog that is having your heart split between two worlds.

I just returned from my long-anticipated trip overseas and it was everything that I hoped for and more. But – as always after each visit – I am emotionally hungover and cranky. Saying goodbye to family and friends is hard. You’d think that this kind of thing gets easier with time, but to the contrary. I feel that it’s, in fact, getting harder every time I visit. As much as I love my life here, those visits always show me quite plainly what I am missing out on. 

I tried to be present during my visit. Hence, the lack of blog posts, and only the occasional Instagram update. I usually take advantage of those trips by pretty much completely unplugging from the Internet. It’s nice to not be tied to your phone all the time. My Feedly Reader had 1000+ unread posts upon my return and I honestly could care less  right now. (But no worries, you know me. I’ll try to catch up on all of your lives!)

I had the best three weeks and I am happy to report that I was able to almost check everything off my Germany bucket list. My time was incredibly dense and packed full of love and friendship, which was so needed to recharge my emotional batteries, but going from 60 back to nil is an adjustment, to say the least.

I hope May has been treating you well so far. I am hoping to be back with some recaps and regular posting soon!

My Germany bucket list

filed under: about me, family, friends, Germany, travel

Once again, I’ll be traveling home soon and I have a bucket list of things to do when I am there.  Everyone does have such a list, right?

Since I haven’t been home in two years (gasp!), my list is long, but again doesn’t include much out of the ordinary, unless you count being able to attend a wedding AND a communion during ONE visit out of the ordinary (which I guess it is).

However, visiting home usually includes mostly just simple things that most people take for granted and that I miss out on by living so far away from family and friends. So, I soak them up whenever I can.

This time around I am looking forward to…

… spending time with my niece and nephew (and the rest of the family)

Always. I miss my two munchkins and wish we could be together more often.

… spending time with my best friend

I told you about my best friend who was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2008. She’s been through so much through those 11 years and I just wish she’d get some relief already.

After her last treatment over a year ago, she developed trigeminal neuralgia, a chronic pain condition of the trigeminal nerve of the face, and even though her tumor has been in remission, she’s has been dealing with this severe nerve pain since then. She just can’t catch a break, it seems, but I hope that I can cheer her up some.

… attending one of my best friends’ wedding

I am so stoked that I’ll be able to attend one of my best friend’s wedding during my visit. I’ve missed so many weddings and events by living so far away, so it’s really a strike of luck that this worked out.

… my nephew’s first communion.

Last time I visited for my niece’s first communion, so of course I had to make sure that I am there for my nephew’s as well. So glad I could make this happen.

… eating all the food

I always have a list of things that I want to eat when I go home, mostly because these things are a) not available in the US or b) homemade by Mama.  Some include “Mettbrötchen” (rolls with freshly minced meat, salt, pepper and onions – OMG!), my Mom’s potato pancakes, all the fresh bread + deli meats (there is a much larger variety than here!) , and white asparagus (it’s asparagus season in Germany!).

… walking with my Mom

My Mom has been getting into a regular morning walk routine since I last visited and I am looking forward to joining her on one (or many) of her walks!

… going  for a run with my cousin (and maybe my sister?)

I haven’t brought it up with them yet, but I hope they realize that I’ll be expecting them to run  with me while I am there.

… working out with my Dad

As you know, my Dad is a retired P.E. teacher, but he still keeps active by playing tennis, golfing, and going to the gym a few times per week. One of my favorite things to do when I visit is join him for a workout. I’d do that all the time if we lived closer.

… having  a heart-to-heart with my sister

One of the things I miss most  is being able to just hang out with my sister and talk about everything. Of course, we talk on the phone and we always  know what is going on in each other’s lives, but it’s not the same as talking in person and sometimes life is busy and we don’t get to talk and share stuff as much I’d like to. 

… seeing an old friend from high school

I won’t have much time to see a lot of people during my visit because of family commitments, but I’ve been Whatsapp-ing with one of my old high school friends recently and I hope I can see her for coffee or something.

… having brunch with a friend in Köln

I will probably meet up with one of my longest, dearest friends  in Cologne again and get to spend some time in my favorite city. Win-win.

… shopping for items to bring back to my US home.

The list of things I shop for and bring back to the US when I visit Germany has become shorter over the years, but there are a still a few things that I always have to get on my visits. That’s normal, right?

This is only a partial list of  what I want to do and I know there will be things that I won’t be able to fit in; again. But hey, I am always, always grateful for the time that I do get to spend back home.

How far away is home for you?

On sleep

filed under: about me

Photo by @dannyg on unsplash.com

My friend Stephany recently blogged about a really fun topic: sleep! It’s something that we all have to do (at some point), but that nobody talks about, but I always love to learn random things about people. So I thought I’d jump on the bandwagon and tell you a little bit about my sleeping habits.

How Much I Sleep

I think I fall right into the recommended sleep group for adults. I am pretty happy with around 8-9 hours of sleep, but can get by with 7-8. Anything less than 7 hours is doable, for a short amount of time, but it usually means I’ll crash at the end of the week and then sleep 10 hours on the weekends. I know they say that you can’t really “catch up” on sleep, but my body definitely will take any little bit more on the weekends that it can get.

What I Sleep In

In the winter, I need to sleep in long pajama pants and a long sleeve shirt. Sometimes, I wear my socks to bed (*gasp*), because I dislike nothing more than cold feet (oh, maybe I do, ‘hot’ feet are the worst!) and I often have cold feet in the winter.

In the summer, I wear a tank top and shorts to bed.

How I Sleep

I’d say that I am a side sleeper (with my hands tucked under my chin). Sometimes, I will sleep/lie on my back as well, but I am probably 85% side sleeper. 

Pillows, Blankets, & Sheet

I sleep with a fitted sheet, a duvet (we have a winter and summer duvet) and two pillows (a flatter, firmer one on the bottom, a fluffier one on the top).

That’s it. Nothing fancy.

Top sheets (I know, a topic of contention) have never been a ‘thing’ in Germany, so I didn’t grow up with them and I find them useless. The only time I’ll sleep with a top sheet is at a hotel (because top quilt by itself = gross!), but I have to make sure it’s all untugged from the mattress, because I can’t have my feet restricted like that. Usually, unless it’s really cold, I’ll routinely stick one of my feet out for temperature control.

Oh, and I always need a blanket even in the middle of summer. I cannot sleep without  anything covering my mid-section. I will opt for a sheet, when it’s really, really hot, but I usually prefer a little bit more weight to my blanket.

How I Fall Asleep

Luckily, I don’t have problems falling (or staying) asleep at all. Reading a chapter in my book before I turn off the light will usually put me right to sleep.  When I do have the odd night where I toss and turn and can’t seem to quiet down, I get really upset, because regular insomnia must be the worst (form of torture!). I feel bad for people with sleep problems, I really do.

Napping

I generally like the idea of naps, but I nap very rarely. I must be really tired to take a day-time nap. Usually, I am much too “busy” with other things to take naps and much rather opt for an earlier bedtime instead.

Do you have trouble falling asleep or sleeping through the night?

On my birthday

filed under: about me, birthday

As previously mentioned, Sunday was my birthday.

I don’t know in which camp you fall, if you dread getting older or if you embrace and celebrate it. I belong to the latter. I think every day is a gift, getting older is a privilege, and we should make the best of each and single day we’re given.

I started off my 43rd birthday with a 4.3 mile run in the morning. I’ve taken up the habit of going for a run on my birthday, the mileage appropriately “reflecting” my age (I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep this up, or if I have to come up with a different scenario eventually, but for now, it works.)

In recent years, I’ve subscribed to the belief: if  you wake up on your birthday and you’re feeling good and don’t have any aches and pains, count yourself lucky and head out and get some exercise and fresh air!

Especially if, after quite a bit of rain lately, the sun is peaking out behind some fluffy clouds and I can see blue skies! What better way to start the day than heading out for a run?

And yes, this will inevitabely put a big smile on your face for the rest of the day (and who wouldn’t want that?).

My pace wasn’t too shabby either. Little birthday present for myself, eh?

After a FaceTime session with my twin sister and family back home, I was ready for a hot shower, coffee and birthday (marble) cake.

The highlight of my birthday happened in the afternoon. J said that had a surprise for me. Well, I honestly knew beforehand what the surprise was, but it didn’t diminish it in any way.

J took me bike shopping! 

I didn’t have a bike for years. In fact, I hadn’t owned a bike since we lived in Davis (“the bicycle capital of the world”, or maybe the US, at least), which was back in 2005, but you must know that I had wanted a bike for a long, long time.  Back when I lived in Germany, I did everything with my bike. It’s practically mandatory to own a bike in Germany (just kidding).

Anyway, this had been a long time coming.

We had talked about getting me a bike as soon as we started thinking about selling our house and moving to a neighborhood closer to my work. It would be safer for me to ride a bike there, also easier because of the shorter commute, and J could have the car available more often. Basically, a win-win situation. 

I assumed we would just go to a couple of bike shops and look around. I hadn’t really made up my mind what kind of bike I wanted. Maybe a cruiser, like I had in Davis, but cruisers, more often than not, don’t have gears and have to be upgraded with fenders, lights, reflectors, etc.. 

Since I wanted to commute with the bike, I needed it to be “street ready”. I thought we would look around what was available and then think about what makes the most sense, but J was more determined. He wanted me to go home with a bike. 

Well, and what do you do when you walk into the bike shop and there it is: YOUR bike. A “City Bike” in black with teal accents, equipped with 8 gears, dynamo-powered lights, fenders, front and rear racks, a bell and a frame lock.

It basically had my name written all over it.

I took the bike for a quick spin around the parking lot and when I came back and saw J’s big smile on his face, I knew “this is the ONE!”. Isn’t she pretty?


I am so, so excited to finally own a bike again! It’s going to be a great summer, riding my bike to work, along the river, and to the Farmers Market. (Now, if I can convince J to get a bike, too, everything would be perfect.)

For dinner, we went out to “Ernesto’s Mexican Restaurant” because I had a craving for nachos. It was a huge plate with asada  bites and lots of cheese and jalapeños and it was delicious!

And just like that, my birthday was just about over again, but I had a really, really fantastic day!


Do you own a bike? What’s one of the most exciting birthday presents you’ve gotten in the past?

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