Archives for January 2015

January Favorites

January 31, 2015 filed under: monthly favorites

1.) I am not using a lot of eye makeup on a daily basis (or ever), but I really love the Wet’n’Wild Eye Shadow Trios (especially this one called “Sweet As Candy”). It tells you (the makeup-illiterates like me) which color goes where on your eye lid and the best thing is: it’s super-affordable (and lasts forever and ever).

2.) The Scannable App belongs to Evernote (which I LOVE!) and makes it extremely easy to scan documents, save them in your Evernote App or email them to yourself (or someone else). The app automatically identifies the dimensions of your document, so there is no cumbersome cropping in your photo app necessary anymore. Bonus point: this app is free.

3.) GIRLS Season 4 on HBO is back and I couldn’t be more excited. I think that people either love or hate this series, but I fall in the first camp. Sure, this show might be extreme or exaggerated in some parts, but I also think looking back, it kind of reflects how somewhat immature and aimlessly wondering we still are in our 20’s. There is so much to figure out about life and about ourselves. I don’t know, maybe you disagree, but I quite enjoy the show.

4.) I found these cute Star Yoga Pants in the clearance aisle at Target (maybe that’s why I can’t find them online), the junior’s department to be exact. I just had to have them. Please tell me, you’re also still shopping in the junior’s department, right?

5.) I saw this Stabilo 88 Mini Color Wallet online somewhere and since a) I love Stabilo Fine Liners, b) it’s a German brand, and c) I am obsessed with color-coding, they were the perfect addition to my planner asseccories (next to washi-tape and stickers). They’re half the size of the regular Stabilo pens, come in this clear sleeve and you can easily stick them in your purse when you’re on the go.

6.) I’ve got this beautiful wallet as a Christmas gift from my sister-in-law and really like the color and style. It really should mean something that I started using it right away since I hadn’t switched wallets in quite a while. In case you love it, too, and want to know where it’s from, she got it for me in Kazakhstan. Sorry friends.

On who I am right now

January 29, 2015 filed under: about me, Who I am

I am…

…, as you might have noticed, a little quiet here right now. 2015 has not been off to the greatest start, like not at all and I just hope there won’t be any more bad news.

… saddened by and worried about some news that I received from a very dear friend last week. I am a little scared and also feel so helpless that I can’t physically be there for her. She could for sure use some positive vibes and finger crossing. Thanks!

… so in love with my Chemex coffee maker. I feel like it’s the equivalent to the ritual of hand-brewing loose tea and it totally speaks to my ritual-loving personality. Coffee just tastes that much better, just like it tastes better from a pretty cup (and that is totally scientifically provable, right?).

… excited to see my cardigan grow. I’ve never knit a cardigan before and am really curious how it’s going to turn out.

… tired of not being able to make any plans because my employment situation has still not been resolved. This limbo sh*t has seriously been going on for way too long. You know, I am not really worried anymore about actually losing my income at this point, but I definitely can understand what it means to feel constantly stressed out, because you can’t really make any future decisions / plans / investments. People strive on stability, at least long-term. You really can’t tell me otherwise. I could get really political on you right now, which I won’t, but let’s just say, this is a bunch of BS.

… dealing with a bacterial stomach infection which I probably have had for well over a year now and none of the doctors that I had previously seen for stomach/heartburn symptoms felt the need to test me for the bacteria. I am so mad. I know there is a lot more freedom here when it comes to medical tests/treatments and the doctor won’t push anything on you, but how should I ask for a test when I am not even aware what my symptoms could potentially be? I mean, that’s why I am going to the doctor, so (s)he can tell me what is wrong with me.

… waiting for all my other little ailments to go away which bothered me since the beginning of this year (pinched nerve in my back, tetanus shot side effects, headaches) and get into an exercise and yoga routine again. I feel like a lazy slug right now.

… a little bit obsessed with my new Inkwell Press liveWELL planner and the helpful tutorials, freebie downloads and such. Such cool stuff! I think I might have to write a separate post about this. I was a very happy Erin Condren Life Planner user for three years, but I wanted to try something new for 2015.

… currently reading Love walked in by Marisa de los Santos. It’s the second book of the Postal BookClub that I am participating in this year.

… probably the only person who couldn’t care less about the Super Bowl on Sunday. Maybe I’ll pop in for some of the commercials. Maybe.

The thing about grief

January 19, 2015 filed under: I can't make this shit up

Two years ago today we lost our Ina. It really doesn’t feel like that much time has passed since I heard her voice and held her soft, wrinkly cheek against mine. Then again, it feels like an eternity since she last called on a Sunday morning to catch up about the week. Time perception is a weird, weird thing. The anniversary of my granddad’s death is coming up this next month, too and I am already dreading the day. These markers of time always bring on strange feelings and there seem to be more and more of them every year.

Then last week, we found out about the loss of our friend, who was by all means considered ‘too young to die’ and it made me realize how different and yet the same grief can be.

I still miss my great-aunt terribly, but I can rationalize her death with her age. I tell myself that it was time for her to go, that this is the circle of life. We are born and someday we all die. I keep thinking about our friend and how much more life he should have had in him. He was such a positive force, a beacon of light for so many people and I do not understand why he had to go already.

J, who for the first few days was simply devastated, said last Friday that he was feeling a little better. That he was still sad and in disbelief but that he was trying to draw strength from what happened (however one does that), that he’s trying to be thankful for having known him, having spent time with him… just to be hit by another wave of grief like a freight train again a day later. I kept trying to comfort him, to tell him that it gets better. But does it?

The thing about grief is: it doesn’t really go away. It will accompany us – once we’ve been hit by it once (or multiple times) – for the rest of our lives. We will always miss the people who have left us. It will never be ok. It’s the burden we carry as humans as we grow older. Missing people, learning to live without them, carrying on with our lives even though they’ve been forever changed.

Sure, grief changes, too, comes in different forms and intensities. Some days you’re just smiling to yourself, because a memory with someone entered your mind unexpectedly and you’re thankful for the experience that you had together. On other days, you’ll start crying for no apparent reason (but of course you know the reason all too well).

The emotions, they come in waves, but not predictable like high and low tide, but mostly at random and you never really know when the next crushing grief-tsunami will come and roll over you and leave you gasping for air.

Underneath the surface, grief is always there, but we as humans have learned to push it down when it’s inconvenient and in order to function in a fast-paced world. As much as we would like to slow things down, to catch our breaths and try to comprehend, time does not really stop when someone dies and we keep trudging along, trying to keep up and adjust to the new normal.

I know we’re not the only ones struggling with grief today, old or new. I know for sure that there are some of you, if not all of you, out there who can relate in some way and who feel the same pain. Know that you’re not alone, that we’re all in this together, and go hug somebody tight today.

January Link Love

January 16, 2015 filed under: link love

My sweet friend Kat has (yet again!) started a new blog, but this time she’s writing about making her dream come true and moving to Stockholm this year! I am so excited to see someone taking their lives into their own hands!

I’ll be attempting to knit my first cardigan. Isn’t it cute?

When I read Marie’s post about feeling sleep deprived, I was wondering if this what being an adult feels like.

After just recently having opened my Etsy shop with a friend, we might have to take these tips to heart: Ten things I learned after 500 sales on Etsy.

Melyssa wrote a great post about 5 ways to keep your blog life organized.

I can relate so much to Marian’s thoughts on how sometimes she hates the Internet and what she’s doing about it.

My friend Chrissy shared this post about some things every knitter should know and I thought it was really worthwhile!

In the blogosphere, where you connect with people, but also start comparing yourself to others, it’s hard to stay true to who you are. Kate wrote about it and I can relate.

How to get and stay organized.

Andi always has some good tips and this time she shared Things do to in San Francisco in the winter.

A reminder

January 12, 2015 filed under: news, now

A few days ago, I got proof that my chosen word for this year was a good one, although I really didn’t need the reminder already, thankyouverymuch.

J and I found out last week that a friend of ours passed away before Christmas. It was a shock to say the least. Almost bigger than the shock of his passing was the way we found out though. Have you ever found out that someone died over the Internet?

I don’t recommend it.

The only reason we even went online is that we’ve been wondering for the last couple of weeks why he hadn’t gotten back to us and J was fearing the worst as it was so unlike him to ignore emails and calls for such a long time. Finally, J said what we both must have been thinking, “what if something happened to him?”

I protested right away and insisted that he must have been too busy over the holidays or something and that he would for sure get in touch soon. Or else, that there must be a really good reason for him to ignore J’s calls and that he would explain later.

Little did we know that he didn’t even live through the holidays and when J pulled up his obituary on Google on Thursday night, we were both in utter disbelief. It just couldn’t be. And it feels very surreal when you don’t get a call from somebody informing you about someone’s passing, but when you have to find out this kind of news by googling it.

When I woke up the next morning, I had to check if it wasn’t just all a bad dream. (We have in the meantime gotten confirmation from an actual human being, in case you were wondering.)

Either way. The start into 2015 went from really great to pretty shitty real fast. I can only hope that this is not a bad omen for the rest of the year.

As I said earlier, it was a reminder that the word I chose for 2015 (‘now’) was a good one. Do things you want to do now. Don’t delay them. Give someone a call today, because you don’t know if tomorrow will be too late. Let people know how much you care about them. Tell them how much they would be missed if their light didn’t shine anymore, how dark the world would be without them.

In our friend’s case, we won’t get this chance, but I can only hope he knew how much he meant to so many people.

Goodbye 2014, hello 2015.

January 6, 2015 filed under: California, now, OLW, travel

My idea of a perfect start into any new year? Bundled up in freezing temperatures somewhere in the snowy mountains … as you can tell from my Cheshire Cat grin, it was a good start.

This trip to the mountain? That is a perfect representation of the word that I chose for 2015.

NOW.

It’s a little word with just three letters, but it’s something that I want to take to heart this year. In past years, there were a lot of reasons for talking about things a lot, but not really (being able for one reason or another) putting them into action. Now is not a good time is what I heard myself say lot. This year I want this to be different. Now is the time and the trip to Tahoe over New Year’s was the first step.

I don’t really set many goals (or resolution or whatever you want to call them) at the beginning of a new year, because if I am perfectly honest, I am usually planning and scheming all the time and any day of the year is a good day for resolutions.
But regardless, the new year does always provide a blank slate (and a fresh, untouched planner with seemingly unlimited possibilities, if that is something that is as exciting for you as it is for me!) and therefore it comes naturally that we think about goals and changes this time of year.

So, I want to plan more and stick to those plans this year and make living in the here and now a priority.

Instead of just talking about how we should take more trips, I’d like to just do it. Decide on a whim to just get away for the weekend. Travel to places – especially places that are so close, but I haven’t been to – when we feel like it. Who says we can’t just get up on a Saturday morning and drive? Ok, admittedly, I usually like a little bit more planning than that, but you get the idea.

I’d like to use my time more wisely. I sometimes fall into the trap of saying that I don’t have time to do this or that, but I know that this is not true. I don’t make time. Don’t get me wrong, I’d still love it if the day had 48 hours, but that’s just wishful thinking. I think I’d still feel like I don’t have enough time if the day did have 48 hours. Admittedly, my biggest problem is that I have a hard time setting priorities. It feels like I want to do everything and I’ve been that way as long as I can remember. It’s always been hard for me to chose one activity over another. I also know that sometimes the sheer amount of options paralyzes me (and I end up doing nothing – at least not anything productive in my opinion) and I’d like to find a way to use my time more efficiently and not feel frustrated when the evening hours have slipped through my fingers yet again. Maybe it means that I have to plan a routine in advance that I can stick to and which will leave less room for indecisiveness during the week.

I’d really like to work on getting into a regular exercise routine again. I have been going to yoga pretty consistently and I have had on-and-off phases where I ran more regularly and then fell out off it again. I’d like to turn this into a more consistent routine this year. Now is the time.

I’d like to keep up our cooking routine, be more mindful of the food that we buy and put into our bodies. I think we’ve been pretty good this last year, but there is always stuff to improve on. When if not now?

I’d like to make more local friends. It’s been a challenge for various reasons in the last few years and I didn’t put a whole lot of effort in last year, frankly because there was a possibility that we weren’t going to be here much longer. But now that it looks like we’re going to stay around (at least for now), it would be nice to try and find some like-minded people to hang out with.

I’d like to continue to create. Crafting is my biggest outlet and my biggest joy. I want to learn new things and improve on my skills. Now is as good a time as ever.

What is your guiding word for 2015? Did you pick one?
Or have you made any resolutions or set goals for this coming year?