theinbetweenismine

just a girl living the expat life

One Little Word® for 2021: Trust

filed under: OLW

I know. Could I be any more cliché with my word choice for this new year when the world keeps falling apart all around us?

I first wanted to pick “hope”, which seemed even more cliché, but since hope and trust are closely related and trust seems a little bit more committed than hope, I went with it. Honestly, it’s the only word that kept popping back into my mind and it truly feels like the only fitting word for me right now.

trust  /ˈtrəst/ (verb)

to rely on the truthfulness or accuracy of 
to hope or expect confidently 
to rely upon or place confidence in someone or something 
to have confidence; hope
 
I am generally a hopeful, glass-half-full kinda person and I also believe that generally, people are good, but I would lie if I said that our trust hasn’t been truly tested through the pandemic and this last year of the Trump presidency. People have honestly surprised me in the worst possible ways. The level of selfishness and hate that has been on display in various settings was shocking. But there was also a lot of good (as there always is) and if trust is not the word that will carry me through this new year, then I don’t know which word truly could. I have to trust that things will get better.
 
But “trust whom or what?”, you might want to ask.
 
I don’t know.

You. Me. The process? The universe?

I am not really religious and have long given up on the thought that was is happening on this planet is the will of a higher power or that a higher power will help us fix things. I think it’s up to us and I do ultimately trust in the good in this world and its people (minus a few exceptions).

I need to trust (and listen to) myself more. I tend to suffer from imposter syndrome sometimes and I need to trust more that I recognize what is working for me and what isn’t, so I can let go and redirect. I want to trust how to use my voice to advocate for myself and others.

I will trust my community, my family, my friends. I trust that together we can bring change, and I will trust and listen to their words and wisdom and let them catch me, as I am always willing to catch them. 

I will trust my body, and that it knows what it needs (may it be rest, fuel, movement), trust that a deep breath will always calm me down and that a good run will clear my head every single time.

I will trust that I can stop and rest and take care of myself without always needing to be doing something. More often than not, I feel better about myself when I am productive, but if this last year has taught me one thing, it is that productiveness is not everything and that you can’t always force it, especially when there’s so much going on in the world.

I trust the scientists (and doctors and healthcare workers) to help and guide us through this pandemic. It’s hard to believe that we’ve been going through it for almost a full year and we’re not yet at the end of it, but I trust that we will soon see the end of the tunnel and a path back to normalcy where we can see and hug our family and friends again. I trust that the sacrifices were worth it.

I will trust that they’re good people coming in who will fix the political mess in this country. I am not going to lie, these last four years have been scary times. I haven’t wanted to become numb to the news but found myself often just shrugging my shoulders about yet another unbelievable news story that should have had us all jumping out of our seats. (Just me?) Half of the crazy sh*t doesn’t even make it on the news anymore, because there is so much to cover on any given day. I guess I am tired, is what I am saying, but I trust all the good people that have worked so hard to turn out the vote for Joe Biden in the fall, and I trust that if only we can get through the next few days without too much harm done, we can hopefully put this country back on the right trajectory.

I trust that good things will happen this year, even if we are off to a rocky start. I trust that we can all do better; that kindness, humanity, and decency will prevail in the end.

What’s your word for 2021?

Here are the words I picked in 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

One Little Word® for 2020: Cultivate

filed under: OLW

As every year, I struggle a bit with the start of a brand new year, a brand new slate and the pressure to set goals and resolutions and have it all mapped out on January, 1. 

That usually never happens for me and it’s been taking me a while to come up with my guiding word for the year. I’ve come to the conclusion that setting resolutions and goals is great but there is one more thing that is more important that making quantifiable goals: setting good intentions. I don’t need a list to “check off”, but rather an ongoing motivation to work towards progress and improvement.

So, my word for 2020 is CULTIVATE.

cultivate /ˈkʌltɪveɪt/ (verb)

to foster the growth of something
to improve by labor, care, or study 
to further encourage

For me, to cultivate means to make an intentional and ongoing investment in the things that matter, and that’s something that I can definitely get on board with. So, here are a few things I want to cultivate this year.

I want to cultivate the power of positive thinking. I am generally a ‘glass-half-full’-kinda person, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t get into a negative, non-productive headspace every once in a while. I want to work on actively getting myself out of that, when I recognize what is happening.

I want to cultivate a better time-perception strategy. I said before that I often feel rushed and as if there are not enough hours in the day (to do all the things I want to do), and while I can’t actually get a few extra hours (we all get 24, sad but true!), I am hoping to trick my time-perception to slow down and to make time feel “longer”. I read about this little trick that in order to give yourself the sense that you have more time, you should do more than one activity in an evening. This might sound counterintuitive at first, but I actually believe it’s true. I bounce between things most of the time anyway, but if I dedicate a certain time slot to something (let’s say “read 15 minutes every night” or “go for a 20 min walk”), I have felt as if my evenings were longer. Worth trying more often, IMHO.

I want to cultivate a healthy lifestyle. I mentioned in my list of things I want to do in 2020 that I have some fitness and health goals. I think I am already focusing on a healthy lifestyle, but this is where I want to pick up this guiding word and cultivate good even better habits around hydration, healthy eating, and exercise.

I want to (re-)cultivate my creativity. I definitely go through phases with creativity and I am hoping to dedicate more time again to new creative projects, skills, and ideas this year. 

I want to cultivate better self-advocacy.  I want to work on speaking up and asking for things that I want (and deserve), especially in my work setting. I recently came to the realization that I haven’t been a good advocate for myself, sometimes because I didn’t speak up, sometimes because I didn’t know better. I wonder now if that might have held me back in my career, even though I’ve been at my job for 15 years. I still tend to let other people take over conversations or situations, as if I am somehow inferior to my peers, especially in settings where I am new or inexplicably don’t feel 100% confident in my own knowledge.

And this leads me to my last point.

I want to cultivate my confidence. This sounds dramatic, doesn’t it? I am not sure how I come off to other people, but I’d usually think of myself as a confident person. I have never been afraid to do my own thing or state my opinion, even if it was different from everybody else’s, but I definitely suffer a bit from imposter syndrome at times, and I really want to nip that awful way of thinking and the tendency to self-doubt in the butt.

What’s your word for 2020?

Here are the words I picked in 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, and 2019.

One Little Word® for 2019: believe

filed under: about me, OLW

Photo by @missnjc on Unsplash

I know, I am late with this. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know that I’ve picked a guiding word for the year for a few years now, but sometimes the word comes easier than other times. (Here are the words I picked in 2015, 2016, 2017, and 2018.)

I’ve had a hard time coming up with a word for this year. 2019 has been off to such a weird start for me that nothing felt quite right. January was mostly a blur. It was the longest month ever, but at the same time, it still feels like we just celebrated New Year’s (anyone else?)

So, I’ve been racking my brain for a word that could be adequately applied to this year and I decided that my word is going to be BELIEVE.

be·lieve [bih-leev] (verb)

to accept something as true, genuine, or real
to have a firm conviction as to the goodness, efficacy, or ability of something

I am generally a glass-half-full kinda person, so my approach to most things is optimistic.  So it really threw me off that the shutdown situation effected me more mentally than physically (as in, financially). “Not knowing” when things will get back to normal (or when the next paycheck is coming in) was incredibly hard, even for a general optimist like myself. I want to apply this mindset to my life even more this year. I am not a religious person, but I believe in positivity and karma.

I’ll continue to believe in the good in people, as I always do. In most people, anyway. Not necessarily in the leader of our country (because OMG, is he f***ing it up for everyone!), but karma will take care of that, eventually, am I right?

I believe that in the end, things will work out.

I believe that obstacles are there to be overcome. Is it fun to run into roadblocks? Absolutely not, but there is always a life lesson hidden in the struggles somewhere.

I’ll try hard and believe in myself a little more. Sometimes I feel confident in my work, sometimes I feel like a fraud (imposter syndrome, anyone?) and I know that I need to work on my self-confidence. I am not one to toot my own horn and I surely don’t know how to self-promote, but people value my skills, work ethic and dedication,  sometimes you (and with ‘you’, I mean, I) should just believe them.

I’ll believe that we made the right move when we moved (pun intended!) and will make many happy memories in our new place.

I’ll believe that I can reach and work towards those goals I posted the other day.

Sometimes life is about the ability to believe in where you are going, even when you’re not sure what lies ahead.

Did you pick a word for the year? Which one and why?
 

One Little Word® for 2018: Focus

filed under: about me, OLW


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Goodbye 2017, hello 2018.

In true new year’s fashion, I am jumping on the One Little Word® bandwagon again, but it’s has taken me a little bit to pick a new guiding word 2018.

If you’ve followed along, I’ve been picking a guiding word for the year for a few years, but sometimes the word comes easier than other times. (Here are the words I picked in 2015, 2016, and 2017.) Last year, I chose the word PERSEVERE because after the election it seemed like such a fitting word to be able to move forward and it was applicable in so many areas of my life.

This year, I am choosing the word FOCUS.

If you know me, you know that I want to do ALL THE THINGS, preferably all at once (because you know… *tapping my proverbial watch*) and I am often disappointed when I can’t fit everything I want to do into my free time. I theoretically know that it’s just not possible to do everything and that I have to prioritize the things that are most important to me and the time I spend on them, but try to tell that to my ambitious mind. Even worse, sometimes I feel downright paralyzed when I have a chunk of free time and can’t for the life of me decide what I want to do with that time and then I end up – what feels to me like – ‘wasting’ it.

I tend to bounce between things to try and make most of the time that I have but often feel ‘restless’  because I can’t focus on the thing at hand because I am mentally already thinking about the next thing. That often makes me feel ‘stressed’ out and frustrated. I know that in order to feel more balanced and grounded, I need to “slow everything down”.

This will be a challenge, and it is not the first time that I am attempting this, but I do know that it is possible. Every once in a while I’ve been able to direct my mind and energy to one thing at a time instead of too many at once, and guess what? I feel much calmer and … well, focused. Time slows down, I am more present and don’t feel so ‘stressed out’, and that is really my goal.

So first and foremost, I am trying to address a feeling this year that is bothersome to me and that I feel way more often than necessary (and I know that this is a “first world problem” to have when you don’t have kids or a lot of other responsibilities, but this is still my personal reality and therefore I consider my feelings valid).

I believe though that focus can also be applied to many other areas of my life.

In my work life, I want to focus on all the things that I love about my job. My motivation has been a bit low lately because I’ve been working on tasks that haven’t always been the most exciting and I’ve had some minor communication issues with a (distant) coworker that were frustrating, to say the least, but I want to focus on the fact that I have a great work schedule, a short commute, a very laid back office atmosphere, and the best co-workers I could ask for.

On the fitness side, I want to focus on keeping up my running and incorporating more crosstraining. I have been doing more strength training in the last six months and that has really paid off in a lot of ways, but I also want to switch it up with other crosstraining exercises. I have set a goal to run a sub-2 half-marathon this year and am also hoping to increase my yearly mileage.

Financially, I want to focus on learning more about investing and retirement funds. I’ve started this process a few years ago already and have been able to contribute more to my retirement fund at work last year. I also think that we’ve been really successful in getting a handle on our spending habits (by using a budgeting software), but I still think I could do more and become savvier in this area.

And lastly, I want to focus on my relationships. I want to make more memories with J and make it a priority to see my friend Susi more often (who lives closest to me from all my friends).
As always, I wish I had more local friends, but I also often feel so pressed for time that I haven’t made any more efforts to find new connections. I am, however, part of a meetup group and I am hoping to continue and deepen those loose friendships a bit. I also want to focus on the people that are already near and dear to my heart and let them know that I value having them in my life, even if they aren’t local, and reach out and make arrangements to meet-up with far away friends more often.

Did you pick a word for the year? I’d love to hear which one and why!

One Little Word® for 2017: PERSEVERE

filed under: about me, OLW

Hi and hello, welcome to a new year. Goodbye 2016, hello 2017.

Aaand… the new year is already 5 days old. I’m telling you, someone must be flipping the pages on that page-a-day calendar fast on purpose.

In true new year’s fashion, I am jumping on the One Little Word® bandwagon again and I’ve been thinking about which new guiding word to pick for 2017. (Here are the words I picked in 2015 and 2016.)
I struggled a little bit to come up with a word for this year, because I had a few swirling around in my head and I could have easily justified any one of them, but yesterday – in a spur of the moment decision – I  finally settled on the one word that seemed just right.

My word for 2017 will be persevere.

It’s a word that has long accompanied my journey in a way and it’s seems fitting now more than ever. Some of its synonyms reaffirm my choice: persist, keep up, press on/ahead, be tenacious, go the distance, hang in there, stick to.

After the election results in November, I was in a serious emotional rut for a couple of weeks. I am usually someone who always, always sees the glass half full and to see me so defeated and emotionally depressed was something that J hadn’t seen in the 15 years we’ve known each other. While inauguration day is getting closer and the last few weeks haven’t really given me much hope in terms of a Trump-presidency, I personally want to persevere and start seeing the glass half full again. I want to press on, do things that are in my power and have a positive impact, no matter how small or limited it might seem. If all of us do a little bit, we can achieve a lot.

I want to persevere in believing in the good of people. It’s been hard lately with all the hate and violence everywhere, but I believe that people are inherently good and we have to press ahead to bring out the best in all the people around us.

I want to persevere in my job. I was once told that I landed my internship and the subsequent position because of my perseverance. I still feel as dedicated to my job as ever, but some of my  tasks lately have been repetitive and somewhat dull and I keep hoping that this will change again and I will feel more invested in my work.

I want to persevere in my workout routine, even if it’s hard sometimes. I’ve gotten to the point where I pretty much don’t ‘think’ about going for a run, I just go. Not leaving any room for changing my mind has helped tremendously with sticking to a plan. I’ve set new goals for this new year and am willing to go the distance to achieve those goals.

I want to persevere and keep investing in my relationships with family + friends, most of which are long-distance, which can make it hard to be present sometimes what with the time difference and busy every day lives and all. But, I know that I have a really, really good group of people around me and I want to keep up those important relationships.

I want to persevere with healthy eating habits, drinking plenty of water, and cooking (mostly) from scratch. This is not something I drastically have to change, because I’ve already been focusing on that, but it’s always good to keep up good habits, and of course,  there is always room for improvement.

What’s your word for the new year? I love to hear what word you picked and why.
Let me know in the comments! 

One Little Word® for 2016: BREATHE

filed under: about me, OLW

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Goodbye 2015, hello 2016.

So, here’s my first post of 2016, finally. Don’t you love how everything seems to slow down some during the last week of the year (between Christmas and New Year’s), only to speed up again with rapid acceleration once New Year’s Day rolls around?

I mean, how is it January, 8th already (and why haven’t I been able to say a ‘peep’ here in over a week)? I’ve been plenty busy what with our move and setting up of our new home, and I am grateful that I was ‘forced’ to use up some accumulated comp time between Christmas and New Year’s, but as exciting as it has all been, it didn’t feel much like a vacation. It is, however, a great feeling to have a fresh start into a new year in a new home. We dropped off the keys to our apartment on Sunday and with that, that chapter is also finally closed. I know it was good and necessary for us to move on, but here I am feeling a little nostalgic for the place that I wanted to move from so badly, all of a sudden.

So silly.

Maybe it’s good that I didn’t post and add to the “clutter” in anyone else’s feed reader… as it stands, my Feedly account is up to 499 unread blog posts again and it will take me a little while to comb through all of them (as you know, I am not the “mark-all-as-read”-kinda girl, although I was pretty impressed to hear that some of my blog friends decided to delete all blogs from their readers and start with a blank slate for 2016. Impressive. Not sure that I’d be able to do that.).

Anyway, a new year always begs for the obligatory New Year’s resolutions… which I repeatedly stated to not buy into (because the truth is, I make resolutions all the time, all year round), but January, 1st still is a good day for a collective reflection and setting of some new goals and intentions for the year ahead. And come on, I know you enjoy these “intention”-posts as much as I do.

If I am honest, I’ve been holding my breath a lot these last few years. Waiting to see what was going to happen with some challenges in my personal life, my job situation, our living situation…. it just felt like many, many balls were up in the air at all times for a long time, but then in 2015 a lot of pieces finally, magically fell into place.

Last year, I picked a word for the year which was supposed to be a guiding term for the following months. Apparently, there has been an official online project created by Ali Edwards and it’s called One Little Word®, so I wanna give proper credit. I’ve been thinking and thinking what the new word for 2016 should be and it came to me in a sort of duh!-moment.

My word for 2016 will be BREATHE.

It seems so fitting in so many different ways. Let me explain. It feels like a lot of weight has been lifted off my shoulders in the last 6 months and I feel like I can finally breathe a little easier and more freely again. What better time than to dedicate 2016 to more breathing in all possible ways.

I want to pause and breathe in life. Fully inhale our new home, our new routines, our new neighborhood. I want to consciously take a breath; pause, assess, evaluate, and appreciate what’s behind me and what before me.

I want to breathe; feel free of restraint and worry. I feel like this year I might have the peace of mind to take things more slowly and relax a little, let go of some of the tension I feel like I’ve been carrying around. But I also know that I can breathe through anything this new year will throw at me. When something frustrates me, breathing deeply and with intention will remind me that I can get through it. I have done it before.

I want to breathe life into new rituals and habits, try new things. I get a lot of satisfaction out of rituals and habits and pausing to take a breath will remind me to act with intention and purpose and to savor every moment.

I want to take a deep breath and think every time before I write – may it be a blog post, an email, or a comment; before I speak – may it be in conversation or in dialog with myself; before I act or react; before I decide things big or small, and before I let go of something. I want to be aware and intentional.

Breathing also will come in very handy when it comes to running. Mind-blowing realization, I know. I want to breathe in and out with intention; feel how every breath – and every stride – makes me stronger. I ran 425 miles in 2015 and completed my first official 10k race. It felt good to be in a regular running routine and to see my endurance (and body) change with it. I want to beat that mileage in 2016 (which means running an average of 36 miles/month). I haven’t set myself any other specific goals yet, but I want to run more miles than in 2015 and maybe I’ll sign up for another race or two. Running has been such an awesome – physical, but also mental – component of my life last year and I definitely want to keep it up.

Did you pick a guiding word for 2016? Would you mind sharing it with me?

Goodbye 2014, hello 2015.

filed under: California, now, OLW, travel

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My idea of a perfect start into any new year? Bundled up in freezing temperatures somewhere in the snowy mountains … as you can tell from my Cheshire Cat grin, it was a good start.

This trip to the mountain? That is a perfect representation of the word that I chose for 2015.

NOW.

It’s a little word with just three letters, but it’s something that I want to take to heart this year. In past years, there were a lot of reasons for talking about things a lot, but not really (being able for one reason or another) putting them into action. Now is not a good time is what I heard myself say lot. This year I want this to be different. Now is the time and the trip to Tahoe over New Year’s was the first step.

I don’t really set many goals (or resolution or whatever you want to call them) at the beginning of a new year, because if I am perfectly honest, I am usually planning and scheming all the time and any day of the year is a good day for resolutions.
But regardless, the new year  does always provide a blank slate (and a fresh, untouched planner with seemingly unlimited possibilities, if that is something that is as exciting for you as it is for me!) and therefore it comes naturally that we think about goals and changes this time of year.

So, I want to plan more and stick to those plans this year and make living in the here and now a priority.

Instead of just talking about how we should take more trips, I’d like to just do it. Decide on a whim to just get away for the weekend. Travel to places – especially places that are so close, but I haven’t been to –  when we feel like it. Who says we can’t just get up on a Saturday morning and drive? Ok, admittedly, I usually like a little bit more planning than that, but you get the idea.

I’d like to use my time more wisely. I sometimes fall into the trap of saying that I don’t have time to do this or that, but I know that this is not true. I don’t make time.  Don’t get me wrong, I’d still love it if the day had 48 hours, but that’s just wishful thinking. I think I’d still feel like I don’t have enough time if the day did have 48 hours. Admittedly, my biggest problem is that I have a hard time setting priorities. It feels like I want to do everything and I’ve been that way as long as I can remember. It’s always been hard for me to chose one activity over another. I also know that sometimes the sheer amount of options paralyzes me (and I end up doing nothing – at least not anything productive in my opinion) and I’d like to find a way to use my time more efficiently and not feel frustrated when the evening hours have slipped through my fingers yet again. Maybe it means that I have to plan a routine in advance that I can stick to and which will leave less room for indecisiveness during the week.

I’d really like to work on getting into a regular exercise routine again. I have been going to yoga pretty consistently and I have had on-and-off phases where I ran more regularly and then fell out off it again. I’d like to turn this into a more consistent routine this year. Now is the time.

I’d like to keep up our cooking routine, be more mindful of the food that we buy and put into our bodies. I think we’ve been pretty good this last year, but there is always stuff to improve on. When if not now?

I’d like to make more local friends. It’s been a challenge for various reasons in the last few years and I didn’t put a whole lot of effort in last year, frankly because there was a possibility that we weren’t going to be here much longer. But now that it looks like we’re going to stay around (at least for now), it would be nice to try and find some like-minded people to hang out with.

I’d like to continue to create. Crafting is my biggest outlet and my biggest joy. I want to learn new things and improve on my skills. Now is as good a time as ever.

 What is your guiding word for 2015? Did you pick one?
Or have you made any resolutions or set goals for this coming year?