On who I am right now


I am…

…, as you might have noticed, a little quiet here right now. 2015 has not been off to the greatest start, like not at all and I just hope there won’t be any more bad news.

… saddened by and worried about some news that I received from a very dear friend last week. I am a little scared and also feel so helpless that I can’t physically be there for her. She could for sure use some positive vibes and finger crossing. Thanks!

… so in love with my Chemex coffee maker. I feel like it’s the equivalent to the ritual of hand-brewing loose tea and it totally speaks to my ritual-loving personality. Coffee just tastes that much better, just like it tastes better from a pretty cup (and that is totally scientifically provable, right?).

… excited to see my cardigan grow. I’ve never knit a cardigan before and am really curious how it’s going to turn out.

… tired of not being able to make any plans because my employment situation has still not been resolved. This limbo sh*t has seriously been going on for way too long. You know, I am not really worried anymore about actually losing my income at this point, but I definitely can understand what it means to feel constantly stressed out, because you can’t really make any future decisions / plans / investments. People strive on stability, at least long-term. You really can’t tell me otherwise. I could get really political on you right now, which I won’t, but let’s just say, this is a bunch of BS.

… dealing with a bacterial stomach infection which I probably have had for well over a year now and none of the doctors that I had previously seen for stomach/heartburn symptoms felt the need to test me for the bacteria. I am so mad. I know there is a lot more freedom here when it comes to medical tests/treatments and the doctor won’t push anything on you, but how should I ask for a test when I am not even aware what my symptoms could potentially be? I mean, that’s why I am going to the doctor, so (s)he can tell me what is wrong with me.

… waiting for all my other little ailments to go away which bothered me since the beginning of this year (pinched nerve in my back, tetanus shot side effects, headaches)  and get into an exercise and yoga routine again. I feel like a lazy slug right now.

… a little bit obsessed with my new Inkwell Press liveWELL planner and the helpful tutorials, freebie downloads and such. Such cool stuff! I think I might have to write a separate post about this. I was a very happy Erin Condren Life Planner user for three years, but I wanted to try something new for 2015.

… currently reading Love walked in by Marisa de los Santos. It’s the second book of the Postal BookClub that I am participating in this year.

… probably the only person who couldn’t care less about the Super Bowl on Sunday. Maybe I’ll pop in for some of the commercials. Maybe.

  1. You are definitely not the only person who doesn’t care about the Super Bowl! We are not a football household. Mark just asked me IF the Super Bowl was this weekend and he even asked me who was playing, bless his blissfully unaware non-football-loving heart. I only knew the answer because I’m on social media and can’t avoid hearing about it.

    I sympathize with you on the frustration with doctors. In my experience, it seems like so many doctors treat symptoms and are hardly helpful at figuring out the root cause, especially with non-serious/non-critical health issues. I don’t really have a lot of faith in doctors to help me much unless I’m seriously sick. Very frustrating. I hope you’re feeling better soon!

  2. Ugh, I’m sorry so many things have been up in the air or just generally shitty lately. I totally feel you on the job limbo, that is the WORST. I hope 2015 looks up for you soon, you most definitely deserve it friend, here for you xoxo

  3. I live in prime Patriots country and I also couldn’t care about the Super Bowl. So sick of hearing about it all on the news.
    In terms of the limbo with work, I’m sure it’s super frustrating. I’m in a weird work situation at moment where my job is secure, but my role in the organization is sort of changing, and I’m not sure how I feel about it all. I’m trying to be positive and work through my uncertainties, but it’s definitely giving me the itch to look for something new and think about what I might want for a next step. Hope you can get to the same place, and if nothing else, push yourself to start a job hunt for what you might want.

  4. Ahhhhh doctors. They truly can suck sometimes. I think I was lucky with my GP when she said I might have gallbladder issues when I came to her with weird discomfort I had been having for many months. It’s so important to have a good doctor, but sometimes difficult to find one. I really hope you get the medical care you need soon so you no longer have to deal with this issue.

    And so so sorry you’re having a difficult time with other health related issues along with the job situation. It’s super frustrating and difficult to ease up when so much is swirling around you. I really hope things work out soon. Just for the sake of your health and ease of mind. Sending loads of hugs your way and lots of good thoughts.

  5. Darling San,

    Working for the gov’t definitely can be yucky at times. I wish they would provide you with some peace of mind already!!

    My hubby also had tummy issues this year!!! He finally let me drag him to an ER when the pain got worse. So, are they finally taking care of you now? Did they give you antibiotics?

    Yes, please please please write about your planner! I am intrigued!!

    I am scared to crochet as article of clothing… NOTHING I make comes out in the dimensions as it should. Not a big deal for a blanket or scarf, but scary for something fitted…

    Your friend is in my prayers. <3

    Superbowl? Is that this weekend? Oh.

    <3 you, sweet friend.

  6. Ha, I had to google the date and time of the Superbowl two days ago. I win! :)

    San, I’m sorry 2015 has been so crappy so far. I hope things turn around for you quickly. I hear you on the doctor issues, but I am glad someone figured out how to help you eventually. I have a friend who is seriously ill, and I keep thinking if only they had tested her earlier….. maybe they could have caught things before they got so serious.

    Your cardigan looks great! I love the colors. Is one of the skeins a Noro? Please share the end result when the time comes.

  7. I’m sorry 2015 has been off to such a horrible start for you. I hope things start looking up soon!

    And since you’re reading Love Walked In that means it’s the next book for ME for the Postal Book Club! Yay!

  8. I am sorry to hear that 2015 is off to such a tough start for you… I hope that things start to turn around soon. And I really hope you have some clarity about your job soon, too. Living in limbo is so hard. I had a hard time with that when I was in Charlotte because I knew I would try to find a new job when my one year commitment was up but I didn’t know how soon that would happen so it was very hard envision the year or make plans.

    I hope you are enjoying Love Walked In! I loved it when I read it years ago!

  9. Oh San, I am sorry to hear about your health issues. I know how you feel. It is awful to have to deal with that and especially if you go see a doctor and they don’t do what they should and you are living a long time with your symptoms and nobody knows what’s wrong.
    I hope they will help you quickly now after they know what’s wrong.
    Sending some hugs to you!

  10. I’m sorry you’ve had a rough start to your year :( I hear you on the stress of instability with work … At the end of December by boss told me that they’re switching to a voice dictation system in the office, which means I’ll most likely be out of a job in a few months (I do medical transcription) – but they haven’t even started shopping for the system yet, so who knows. I have SO much work right now, and I’m kind of okay with it, because we’ll need the money if my job is cut – but at the same time, I want to have a life too! I hate not being able to plan anything! End rant …

    I’ve had an Erin Condren life planner for 3 years too, but this year I bought a planner off Etsy instead, and I really like it!

  11. Ugh San, sounds like you’ve had a blah kind of month so far. Hugs! I know all too well what job limbo feels like, it’s like a sword dangling over your throat. I can only imagine how much harder it is in a field that is quite small.
    But yay doctor who finally figured out your GI bug! Incredible that they did not check for that…. Pinched nerve. Outsh! Maybe a trigger point massage would help. Maybe your headaches come from that, too? :(
    Gonna look at your planner. I’m obsessed with Project Life right now and always enjoy seeing other obsession projects. Hehe.
    Hope February will be much much much better and your friend feels better, too!

  12. Ugh, I’m sorry to hear your year is not off to a good start. I also had a rough start to my year with my grandfather passing away and getting rejected for that job. Fingers crossed February treats us better. <3

  13. So sorry that 2015 hasn’t yet been what you expected. Like they always say “expect the unexpected!”, believe me I am an expert when it comes to that. I hope the year will take a turn to positivity for you and your job situation gets sorted out. I know it sucks to not know where things are going.
    In love with your gorgeous cardigan and cannot wait to see it finished! Hugs xxx

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