A reminder


A few days ago, I got proof that my chosen word for this year was a good one, although I really didn’t need the reminder already, thankyouverymuch.

J and I found out last week that a friend of ours passed away before Christmas. It was a shock to say the least. Almost bigger than the shock of his passing was the way we found out though. Have you ever found out that someone died over the Internet?

I don’t recommend it.

The only reason we even went online is that we’ve been wondering for the last couple of weeks why he hadn’t gotten back to us and J was fearing the worst as it was so unlike him to ignore emails and calls for such a long time. Finally, J said what we both must have been thinking, “what if something happened to him?”

I protested right away and insisted that he must have been too busy over the holidays or something and that he would for sure get in touch soon. Or else, that there must be a really good reason for him to ignore J’s calls and that he would explain later.

Little did we know that he didn’t even live through the holidays and when J pulled up his obituary on Google on Thursday night, we were both in utter disbelief. It just couldn’t be. And it feels very surreal when you don’t get a call from somebody informing you about someone’s passing, but when you have to find out this kind of news by googling it.

When I woke up the next morning, I had to check if it wasn’t just all a bad dream. (We have in the meantime gotten confirmation from an actual human being, in case you were wondering.)

Either way. The start into 2015 went from really great to pretty shitty real fast. I can only hope that this is not a bad omen for the rest of the year.

As I said earlier, it was a reminder that the word I chose for 2015 (‘now’) was a good one. Do things you want to do now. Don’t delay them. Give someone a call today, because you don’t know if tomorrow will be too late. Let people know how much you care about them. Tell them how much they would be missed if their light didn’t shine anymore, how dark the world would be without them.

In our friend’s case, we won’t get this chance, but I can only hope he knew how much he meant to so many people.

  1. I am so very sorry for your loss. Can’t even imagine the feeling of finding out through the internet.
    Hope your year will turn around for the better real soon again.

  2. So sorry for your loss, San. I read the obituaries in the newspaper everyday, not because of some morbid interest, but because I know ( especially after losing my Dad) that so many people don’t think of calling extended family or friends when a death happens. It’s unfortunate to have to learn about a death of a close friend this way.

  3. I’m sorry for your loss :( Unfortunately I’ve found out about a few deaths via Facebook, of all things – and it’s horrible! Sending hugs your way!

  4. So sorry for your loss. Loss of any kind is hard, and it is even harder to have your worst fears confirmed by Internet source. I found out in a similar way that I knew one of the firefighters who died in the AZ fire a couple of summers ago. It is a punch in the gut. Thinking of you guys as you process through the grief.

  5. I am so sorry for your loss… and what a particularly awful way to learn of your friend’s passing. :( I hate that we need reminders like this to seize the day and let our loves one know how much we love and appreciate them, but the reality of life is that it usually takes sad events like this to remind us that every day is a gift and to make the most of our time.

  6. Wow San, das tut mir total Leid fuer euch! Besonders, dass ihr neben der sowieso schon riesigen Trauer, so ploetzlich einen Freund zu verlieren noch damit fertig werden muesst, das Ganze durchs Internet zu erfahren. Was fuer ein Alptraum. Die Zeit heilt meiner Erfahrung nach keine Wunden, aber sie macht es leichter, mit ihnen zu leben. Ich hoffe, dass euch die Erinnerung an gemeinsame schoene Zeiten mit eurem Freund euch ein bisschen Trost spenden kann.

  7. San, I am so sorry for your loss. And to find out via the Internet is really bad. Keeping you in my thoughts and sending you a hug!

  8. Oh friend, I’m so sorry for your loss. What a crappy way to find out as well. Sending you lots of hugs and hoping 2015 has better, happier days in store for you.

  9. I am so very sorry for your loss, San and for the way you both had to find out. I can only imagine how shocking that must have been. I am sure he knew how much his friendship meant to the two of you and I am sure he knows just how much he will be missed. The things that happen are sometimes so startling – they seem like a wake up call to open your eyes and live every day as good and fulfilling as you possibly can! Thinking of you and sending some tight hugs all the way over to you – hope you are ok! Hugs xxx

  10. I’m so sorry for your loss, San. And what a tragic way to find out. Sending you lots of love and prayers for peace and comfort. xo

  11. Oh friend I am so sorry. I unfortunately have found out about a friend’s passing through the internet (Facebook). And more recently, two days ago. It definitely reminds you to live in the Now and to embrace life and your friends and family a little more tightly.

    So sorry you guys have to go through this xoxo

  12. I’m so sorry, San. What a horrible way to find out, too. Sending lots of warm thoughts and love your way. <3

  13. Oh, my goodness… I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. My prayers go out to you and to their loved ones. I can’t imagine how hard that must be, especially to find out that way. That’s rough.

    On another note: ALL the yes to your word for the year. Love it.

    Sending all the love and 8-second hugs your way, San! <3

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