theinbetweenismine

just a girl living the expat life

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Archives for February 2015

February Favorites

February 27, 2015 filed under: monthly favorites

FebruaryFavorites2015.

I’m seriously shocked that February is also already over, aren’t you? I feel like I could say that at the end of every single month lately, so there is no news there, but it sure is some crazy sh*t, this time perception thing. Anyway, without much further ado, let me share my February favorites with you.

1.) Honeybush Vanilla herbal tea. This stuff is expensive, but it’s the real deal from the tea store. You can taste the difference. I am totally ok with some of the bagged supermarket teas (they’re not all bad), but loose tea is honestly a whole different ball game.

2.) I already hinted at it in my “Currently”-post, but I am a little bit obsessed with Boursin® Gournay Cheese + crackers right now. But who am I kidding? Pretty much any cheese sounds good to me at any hour of the day, but I am partial to this one this month. It’s so good! I could never ever give up cheese, or any dairy for that matter. Sorry, I am not sorry.

3.) I am always on the search for a (mostly) natural-ingredient-based shampoo for my very fine, oily-at-the-roots hair (a very common, but not desirable mix, let me tell you, and the no-poo method hasn’t really been cutting it for me in the past – maybe I should give it another try? Thoughts?). However, I’ve recently been using Desert Essence Lemon Tea Tree Shampoo for Oily Hair and  I think I might stick with this for a little while. It smells lovely (like anything lemon-y) and tackles the oily roots without drying out the rest of my hair.

4.) I’ve used the Runtastic app for a couple of years already, but I’ve recently invested in the “pro” version and really like the access to all kinds of training plans. I am hoping that this will keep me on track and motivated. Are you using Runtastic?  Connect with me!

5.) Well, I got me some new Brooks Ghost 7 running shoes just this last weekend, but I am already loving them real hard. I had been running in my trail hiking shoes before (which, as was confirmed to me, wasn’t all bad, because they do offer good support, but are pretty heavy… which on the other hand was probably a nice extra workout for my legs) and I was desperate to get some new running shoes. Thanks to you lovely people who gave me some advice and/or recommendations on Twitter, I finally purchased a new pair.

6.) I go through phases with certain fruits and usually like to switch it up quite a bit (the only fruits I always love are strawberries and apples). This month I’ve fallen head over heals for mandarines again. They are juicy and sweet and just a great snack to have around.

What was one of your favorites this month?

4

Currently Vol. 16

February 23, 2015 filed under: currently

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Current Book(s):  I’m currently (still) reading “Love walked in” by Marisa de los Santos for the Postal BookClub.

Current Playlist: My running play list.

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure: Boursin + Crackers. Oh my. Have you tried it? If not, you need to get some at Trader Joe’s. It’s so good.

Current Color: Magenta.

Current Drink:  Honeybush Vanilla tea.

Current Food: Apple-Cinnamon-Steel Cut Oats.

Current Favorite Show: Girls.

Current Wishlist: Honestly? Moving to a bigger/nicer place (with a craft room!).

Current Needs: A couple more pieces of good  amazing news would be nice! I didn’t plan to start this year with so many depressing posts (I swear!).

Current Bane(s) of my Existence: The sleeves on my cardigan knitting  project. I don’t really enjoy knitting with 5 needles as it is, but switching colors in the round is even more tricky.

Current Celebrity (Girl) Crush: Juliane Moore. She just won the Oscar last night. She’s so amazing (and beautiful).

Current Outfit: Jeans, long-sleeve, sneakers.

Current Excitement: That my bff’s surgery  on Friday went well and that she’s recovering. I had the candle (photo) burn for her all through the night on Thursday (because her surgery was Friday morning German time) and I was so relieved when I heard that everything went well. I know there is more to come, but I am so glad the surgery is over! Thanks so much for all your thoughts and well wishes. It means so much!

Current Link: I came across this blog, Trash is for tossers, when I was looking into some earth-friendlier health and home options. Lauren writes about her “Zero Waste Life” and has some awesome tips + tricks up her sleeve. While this lifestyle might not be for everyone, if you’re looking to reduce your carbon footprint, it might be worth checking her blog out.

*  *  *

What’s up with you CURRENTLY?

9

F*ck off, cancer (take two)

February 19, 2015 filed under: f*ck that, friends

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#tbt

Last week, I dug out this picture of my best friend and me. It’s one of my favorites. Those were happy, carefree times. I think this was taken ca. 2001. Obviously, we were dressed up for carnival, ready to hit the parties in town.

My best friend and I, we’ve known each other since elementary school. That is a freaking long time, guys, and sometimes I can’t believe we’ve known each other for three decades (what?!).

We weren’t always bestest, closest friends. You know how it is, how friendships work when you’re kids. One day, you’re besties, the next day, you don’t want anything to do with each other. Friendship is a strange (somewhat ungraspable) thing when you’re little and you really only come to appreciate it for what it really is much, much later, but she always was in my close circle and I think we’ve really become best friends in 7th grade (give or take a year).

I am so thankful for having her in my life, someone who has been by my side since childhood. We’ve been through stuff together. Crushes, heartaches, triumphs and let downs. We’ve been on school trips to Prague and Austria, at a summer camp in Italy, and after we graduated high school, we took a roadtrip to Venice, Italy together. We were 19 and I think our parents went crazy with worry if we would make the 11-hour drive. It was a fantastic adventure and unforgettable time (and yes, we made it).

Since then, we’ve spent a huge chunk of our friendship on opposite sides of the world with a big ocean between us, but that has never changed the way we felt about each other. She knows she can call me any time of the day (and night)  and I know I can do the same. I am thankful to have a friend who has been through all parts of life with me so far and who I know is always someone I can turn to.

Tomorrow, my sweet friend faces serious surgery to fight her (second) bout with brain cancer. I wrote about her initial diagnosis here and how her life was put on hold at 32, when most of her peers were making big life decisions (marriage, house, kids). I wasn’t kidding when I said in my post last week “however much you think you have a plan for how your life will pan out, you won’t be able to count on it. There are always going to be unexpected obstacles and events (at least for most of us) that will stir us of our chosen path, delay progress and/or force us to think our whole life plan over.”

The hell, I definitely wasn’t kidding. I’ve seen it too many times.

Things had been going great for her though. Quarterly check-ups had been negative for five years, she moved forward with her life, started working again, fell in love, got engaged, moved to a new city and was finally at a point where she had dared to breathe a little easier again. Then at the beginning of the year the news: the tumor is back.

You guys, I am so angry, and I feel a little so helpless for being so far away, even though I wouldn’t be able to really do much for her if I was closer. But at least I would be able to hug her and be with her. I know she knows that I am here for her, but I am not physically there, and that sucks big time.

She’s the last person who deserves to go through so much pain and heartache, let alone go through it twice,  and yet she’s handling it with so much grace. Much more grace than I think I’d be able to muster facing such a tough situation.

We talked about attitude a couple of weeks ago and how being positive and optimistic can change everything, how consciously changing your thinking patterns can influence the way you approach and perceive life.  She and I, we have the same outlook on life. We always, always see the glass half full and I’m absolutely positively convinced that she will beat this.

There are so many more adventures waiting for her, for us!, and when we’re old and grey, I wanna sit in a rocking chair, drink tea and reminisce with her about the good ol’ times.

If you could spare any good thoughts and healing vibes today for my dearest, oldest friend, I’d be forever indebted to you. Meanwhile, don’t mind me going a little stir-crazy over here.

16

February Link Love

February 17, 2015 filed under: link love

 

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Sarah’s post about Following through spoke to me on many different levels. Sometimes you must resist the urge to learn and try more and more, but focus on a few things and actually do them instead.

Kam wrote about how to get motivated to go to the gym after work and I can definitely relate to that as I am trying to get back into a regular workout routine.

If you love FRIENDS, you’ll love these artists sketch floorplan of Friends apartments and other famous TV shows. It is amazing, you guys!

In case you haven’t heard about Boomerang for Gmail, you’re missing out. All I am saying is GAME CHANGER.

19 coffee hacks that every coffee drinker needs to know immediately. Butter in your coffee? As someone who, as a kid, would eat butter without bread, I need to try this.

The expat perspective is always, always an interesting one, don’t you think? 9 American habits that I lost when I moved to Germany.

Good places to find free stock photos for your blog posts.

5 ingredient perfect guacamole. ‘nough said.

10 useful blogging websites every blogger should know. (Do you?)

Loved Elise’s post about her favorite San diego spots. I have bookmarked this post, since I’ll be visiting San Diego again this summer! Yay!

4

The only person who has to be happy with your life is… you!

February 14, 2015 filed under: about me, now, real life

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My friend Caiti wrote about her struggles with 32 (go read her thoughts here) and I could relate so much to the somewhat terrifying notion that everyone else and their brother seem to have the “big pieces” of life (career, marriage, home, kids) figured out while my life is a mess a bit messy and less cut-and-dried in so many regards. Only with the tiny difference that I probably struggled with this at 32, but now I am 38 and pretty much none the wiser.

Did you just fall of your chair?

It’s ok. Most people don’t know (or don’t think) that I am 38 (almost 39), which is partly because I apparently look younger (yay, good genes!), but probably also because I don’t have a house and kids (yet). The assumption simply is: because she doesn’t have those things, she must be younger.

Alas, I am not.

A couple of weekends ago, I went to the birthday party of my friend’s 5-year old and I was the only person without kids there. I didn’t feel awkward about it until at the very end one of the other guests introduced himself and asked me “Hi, my name is so-and-so, I am so-and so’s dad. And you’re whose mother?”

Uhm, excuse me?

There was a snarky remark on the tip of my tongue for a split second, but then I simply replied: “Nobody’s. I am nobody’s mom. I am a family friend.”

My friend’s husband was so nice to jump in and add “but the kids love her!”, but the look on that guy’s face was surprise mixed with disbelief and astonishment.

Yes, granted, it was a birthday party for a small kid and the assumption that, if you’re invited, you’re most likely the parent of a kid of the same age, is not that far fetched, but I did find it curious that this guy asked the question the way he did. Like there was no other excuse for being there unless you’re chaperoning a little person.

This made me think about societal expectations and assumptions that we make about other people’s lives.

Obviously, the question we should be asking is: does everybody have to want the same things? The short answer would be: no. The long answer is more complicated. Of course, I have asked myself these questions: do I want a house? Kids? Or more abstractly, What do I want from life? You’d think that at 38, you should know, but honestly, I still kinda don’t. Not with 100% certainty at least. I want to be happy, I want meaningful relationships and make memories that nobody will ever be able to take away from me. But they rest is still a little fuzzy around the edges.

It can be hard to detach yourself from expectations and truly look inside yourself and see what your personal answers to these questions might be.

I think this is my struggle. If I knew for sure what I wanted and didn’t want, I’d be happy to say so. I am not afraid to say “this is my life and it’s exactly the way I want it”. I don’t have time or patience (anymore) to live up to the expectations that other people (strangers even!) have of me. What is right for them, doesn’t have to be right for me. I don’t feel like I have to defend or explain my decisions. But in reality, it’s all a little more complicated than that.

So, you might be wondering, do I want a house?

Sure, that would be nice. I’d love to live in a house (rather than a small apartment), but it’s not always about what you would like. What if circumstances prevent me from making this a reality? Can I be happy in a rented apartment? Why is the expectation that home ownership must be on everybody’s life list, no matter what? (Especially in this country? I can’t count how many times I have been asked not if, but when we were going to buy a house. In Germany, it’s much more common to rent and I am totally ok with renting.)

Do I want kids?

Maybe. Don’t get me wrong, I love kids, but caring for one (or three) takes careful consideration. Not everybody feels a super-strong calling to motherhood and there might be a gazillion different factors why it’s not in the cards for some people (which, on a site note, is really nobody’s business). I know, some people say that you’ll never be ready to have kids if you’re waiting for the right moment, because there will always be some circumstance that could be improved upon, but I personally have reasons that I can’t just disregard or shrug off as minor side nuisances.

Sometimes in life, we are able to solely make decision based on what we want or don’t want, and sometimes circumstances leave us less room for this kind of completely carefree decision-making.

I always thought that you hit a certain age and — boom — you have clarity in your heart and mind about certain things. Like, questions that have plagued you before 30 are magically answered when you hit the big 3-0. For some reason, that hasn’t really happened for me and I suspect that I’m not alone.

Let me entertain you with some wisdom, because I did have two epiphany throughout my thirties:

One, things don’t just magically happen (surprise!) when you reach a certain age. You can’t passively sit around and wait for things to fall into place, because nothing will, unless you actively work towards your goals and make them happen. If there is something that you want, then you have to decide to make the necessary changes to achieve it. However, just setting those goals can be a daunting task sometimes (if you are one of the people who always new exactly what they wanted, more power to you. I am not that lucky.)

Two, however much you think you have a plan for how your life will pan out, you won’t be able to count on it. There are always going to be unexpected obstacles and events (at least for most of us) that will stir us of our chosen path, delay progress and/or force us to think our whole life plan over.

This definitely hits home for me. I never thought I’d be where I am at in my life. I don’t know where I thought I’d be, but I never envisioned my life the way it is now. I never thought I’d move to a different continent (like permanently), leave behind family and friends, change my career path and completely uproot my life. This is not to say that I am unhappy.  Quite the opposite, but what I mean is that you  can easily find yourself in situations that completely turn your life upside down. I don’t know what I envisioned when I was younger, but I probably thought that I’d become a teacher, that I’d have  a kid or two and maybe buy a house and settle down. That’s more or less what everybody expects and you go about these things with a bit of naivety when you’re young. You don’t consider the what if your life journey doesn’t fit into this neat little box that you created for yourself?

I am the first one to admit that even though I am ok with where I am at (most of the time), I still struggle — even if only on occasion — with the fact that I haven’t hit certain milestones at a certain age. I contemplate the ‘what ifs’. I think it’s because it’s somewhat ingrained in our brains that this is how we’re supposed to live. I try to remind myself on a regular basis that everything is a could, nothing is a must and things will work themselves out. They always do.

When things didn’t turn out the way we planned, it can take time to let go and focus our energy on making and working towards new goals. That might very well eat at up a few years of your life and then you find yourself not-so-all-of-a-sudden wondering where the heck the last 5 years went. One thing is for sure, life is continuously changing and we have to adjust and appreciate the day-to-day,  the here and now, not measure our worth by how many arbitrary milestones we have hit.

My life doesn’t look like many other’s, but so what? Maybe at some point in the past, I might have thought my life would look like theirs, but that is not my reality now.

Luckily, I know many, wonderful and inspiring women who are in there 30’s and don’t have kids, or a house, or even a partner. And even though I know that some of them want these things, I also want to high five them for their courage, for soldiering on and accepting their journey for what it is. I’ve always been ok with swimming against the tide a little bit, but it definitely is nice to know that there are other fish going the same way. (Did I call you ‘fish’ for the sake of a linguistic metaphor just now? I am sorry. Maybe you’re a Pisces like me and won’t be too offended.)

The truth is: the ‘big pieces’ don’t have to be, and often won’t be, the same for everybody. It’s not like there is one clear-but path that everybody has to – or will inevitably – follow. And that’s ok. I realized that life looks more and more like a maze, which everybody has to navigate on their own choosing the right turns — and sometimes going in circles — to make it through.

At the end of the day, societal expectations are just that – expectations. It doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy and have a fulfilled life if you don’t live up to them. You have to evaluate your given circumstances, and then do what’s right for you. The heck, you can even change your mind a couple of times, if that’s what you have to do. There’s really no use of comparing ourselves to others, because we’re not them and they’re not us. We only get a finite amount of time on this planet; we were at one point placed here and eventually we will be gone, but this time, this in between, is  what is uniquely ours and we have to make the best of it.

Unbelievable, I know, but it’s true: the only person who ultimately has to be happy with your life is… you.

19

Recipe: Cheddar-chive-scones

February 9, 2015 filed under: food, recipe

Usually, when the weekend comes around, I go into full baking mode. There’s nothing better than something fresh and warm out of the oven. I’ve been baking bread and rolls for the last few weeks, but felt like doing something different this weekend.
I remembered that I had some really good savory scones before and thought they’d go perfect with some scrambled eggs.

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Cheddar-chive-scones (adapted from Cooking Light)

Ingredients:

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons chilled butter, cut into small pieces
1/4 plain low fat yogurt
1/2 cup light sour cream
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 tablespoon water
1/4 cup chives
1 large egg, lightly beaten

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350°F.

Combine flour, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl, stirring with a whisk. Cut in butter with a pastry blender or 2 knives until mixture resembles coarse meal. Add yogurt, sour cream, cheddar cheese, 1 tablespoon water, chives, and the egg; then stir just until moist. Knead in bowl with lightly floured hands just until dough forms.

Divide the dough and shape two circle on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Cut each circle into 6 wedges; separate wedges 1 inch apart. Bake at 350° for 20 minutes or until browned. Serve warm.

These were delicious and don’t need much preparation time at all. They also heat up nicely in the microwave if you have leftovers. I am taking one to work today.

8

Friday Facts

February 6, 2015 filed under: Friday Facts

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Can you believe it’s February already? I have no idea where January went, but since it was a little bit rough, I am looking forward to a much calmer, better month. I am planning to finish my knitted cardigan, work on some new items for our shop and get back into my workout routine.

* * *

Today we finally, finally got the first real rain of 2015. I am so excited. There even was some thunder in the distance this morning and I am planning to mostly spend a cozy weekend staying home and watching the rain from behind the windows. January, usually the wettest month here in Northern California, was bone-dry and we desperately need the rain. In case you didn’t know, my office is directly involved with the well monitoring of the state and studies subsidence due to over-pumping of California’s groundwater. All I will say is: the outlook is pretty bleak. Did you know that California is one of the few states that doesn’t have any water regulation legislation? That is insane to me.

* * *

J and I watched “Non-Stop” today. If you’re a fan of Liam Neeson and suspense thrillers (which Liam Neeson does brilliantly), you want to put this one on your movie list. It was really intense (for me), but so good.

* * *

Are you a fan of casseroles? I am, because it basically means that you throw a bunch of stuff in a casserole dish, put it in the oven and wait for the magic to happen. I made a potato-veggie-casserole yesterday and it was so good. I hadn’t made this in ages, but it was the perfect dish for this cooler weather. I love potatoes!

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* * *

Have you been watching “The McCarthy’s“? J and I really come to love this new show, but I found out yesterday that it was pulled from CBS’s TV schedules and replaced with re-runs of ‘The Big Bang Theory” (which, for the record, I never got into and don’t find funny). It’s too bad.  I thought “The McCarthy’s” had potential.  Go here and tweet to save the show!

HAPPY FRIDAY!

8

Hi, I am San – German native, dual-citizen living in beautiful Northern California. Runner. Knitter. Crafter. Reader. Writer. Proud aunt, sister, and friend.

I’ve been blogging since 2004 and don’t intend to stop any time soon. If you are looking for personal content and making a  genuine connection, you’ve come to the right place.

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