theinbetweenismine

just a girl living the expat life

It’s not fair

filed under: I can't make this shit up, my so-called life

My roommate told me this morning that her Dad is coming to visit this weekend.

Her comment: I’ll have to spend time with him for THREE WHOLE DAYS!

My reaction: So? [Starring in disbelief, shaking my head]

Clearly, the girl doesn’t know how lucky she is that her Dad lives “only” a 6-hour car ride away [in LA] and I told her exactly that. I would be thrilled (!) if I could see my Dad [and my Mom and the rest of the family!] for three days. Even for longer, for all I care ;) It’s really not fair… but then, what is?

Her reply was that she has been living on her own, doing “her thing” on the weekends for too long and that she doesn’t like to adapt to someone else for three whole days… (???!?)
Good luck on finding a man, is all I can say to that.

Oh well, I had to realize lately that not every relationship between parents and their children is the same [the same as mine, that is]. It still kind of a mystery to me.

Anyway, this prompted J and I to think about taking the opportunity of going away for a night. We haven’t decided where we want to go yet, but I am sure we’ll be able to come up with something… there is something to see everywhere around here ;) Let’s call it our belated “Easter holiday weekend”, since we didn’t really do anything special last weekend.

Super Tuesday

filed under: excitement, I can't make this shit up

A part of me wishes that I could vote in the primaries. Because it seems important. Because it seems like it really matters this time more than ever.

But I am not a US citizen, even though I have lived and breathed this country for the greater part of the last six years and this other part of me is relieved that I don’t have to face the difficult decision today: Clinton or Obama?

After my – and J’s – favored candidate John Edwards dropped out last week, the decision has become tougher by the minute.
Although my political knowledge is relatively superficial, I had made up my mind, with the help of online quizzes and articles that I read and by talking to J who knows a whole lot more about politics than I do, about which candidate I would officially support, if I was to cast a vote.

Here in California they still gave out ballots with the names of all initial presidential candidates on them. Does that mean you can still vote for someone who’s not even running anymore? That seems like a wasted vote to me, so why didn’t they take the drop-outs off the ballot?
I surely hope that everybody who has gone and still will go to the polls today has followed the campaigns closely enough to know who is still running and who isn’t.

Another thing occurred to me today. I don’t understand why you have to be a registered voter for a certain party to vote for their candidates. That make no sense to me whatsoever.
How many votes do you think will not be casted today, because of the fact that a person might have been registered for the wrong party, or no party for that matter, this time around?

Admittedly, that kind of person could have taken care of changing the voter registration a long time ago, but fact is: Why can’t everybody vote for whomever they want to vote for without having to be registered for a certain party? A simple state ID should do.

I am clearly curious and excited about who will make it on the Democratic side today. The issues between the two remaining candidates seem to be much greater than just the question with whose policies one conforms. The more basic question is: Should one vote for a woman or a black man?

Honestly, if you ask me, either one of them would make a splendid first-timer in the Oval Office and since it’s not up to me to help make this decision, all I can do is sit back and hope for the best.

The land of unlimited [im]possibility

filed under: food, I can't make this shit up, my so-called life

Sometimes it really baffles me how in the world there are certain things you cannot buy in the US, the land of unlimited opportunity and possibility, without a tremendous amount of effort.
I could talk about the non-existence of any kind of bread that would pass my nitpicking examination. [I am very particular when it comes to bread!] without drawing a breath, and I have before!, but this weekend I tried to find something completely different: semolina.

You would think that you should easily be able to find a common wheat product like this is any supermarket, but believe me, I was far from it!
After I had searched the baking goods isle and also every other isle that could possibly hold this product, I finally retreated to ask one of the friendly cassiers if she could help me find “semolina”.  Woah. The woman looked at me as if I was asking for something completely unheard-of.
After consulting another cassier, she half-told-half-asked me if semolina wasn’t considered a “health food item” and that I could try to get it at the Natural Foods Co-op. And with a smirk she added, “We don’t sell this”.

The Natural Foods Co-op is a somewhat alternative supermarket with lots of natural and fresh, healthful products. It was the only place where I could find somewhat coarse flour for my bread-baking adventures back in LA. It is also obviously the only place where you can find semolina. In bulk after all!

Much to my delight, the also had “rye bread”. I mean, “real” rye bread. Bread that can easily satisfy my test criteria. It looks like the Co-op could become a regular shopping place for me once again :)

The semolina pudding that I prepared after I returned home from my shopping adventures turned out delicious. And since I was in experimenting mood, I also tried to cook my Mom’s bread dumplings for dinner. The turned out great as well – taste-wise. I think I still have to work on the texture a little bit. The dumplings were more “mashed” than anything, because they fell apart in the hot water. Oh well.

Besides that, the weekends was quiet and relatively uneventful – except for
a) wet feet (twice!), because J wanted to go walking in the rain,

b) a bargain purchase of a new Champion’s sports bra [TMI?! *haha*] and

c) the discovery of a new nail salon that I really like :)

Upside down and spinning

filed under: I can't make this shit up, my so-called life

How do you call this when you feel your world is upside down and everything’s spinning around you?

Transition. Right.

Well, we’re right in the middle of one… and not that we haven’t been there before.

If -by reading on- you get kind of overwhelmed and confused, don’t worry, I felt the same way. A lot of the things that are happening right now are due to pretty recent decisions that J and I made and it took me a while to get my thoughts straight again.

We’ll be moving out of our apartment in Westwood. In fact, pretty soon – by the end of August.
I have kind of mixed feelings about it, because I just started to like it there and damn, I get so easily attached to places. But fact is, there are several different reasons why moving out sounds like a good idea.

First of all, since finding a job at UCLA didn’t work out, there is really no reason to live right in Westwood. Yes, it’s a nice student community, but it’s also expensive. I know we got a pretty sweet deal with our apartment, but still. Expensive.

As of last week, Aaron will be moving in with an old friend of his in Long Beach [which is about a 45-minute drive to Westwood], so J would be all by himself during the week when I am up in Sacramento. The guys are trying to figure out new schedules right now, which will probably mean that they’ll be getting together for practicing and recording every couple of days.
For that reason, they have also decided to give up the studio that they had rented out, since they won’t be able to use it as much as they used to and they’ll rent out a studio by the hour whenever they have time to get together.

J and I have been thinking about moving up to Ventura. It’s an hour north of LA, but we would be closer to J’s parents. J’s Dad just had hip surgery and they could use a little help in the coming weeks. Also, rent is a little cheaper in Ventura. When I start my job in Sacramento, my housing up there will probably be completely paid for, but still, having two places requires some financial rethinking.

The next few weeks will be very busy for us. I am waiting to hear back from my prospective employer this coming week and will probably be flying up to Sacramento sometime soon to look for a place and sign the contract. At the same time, we’ll be packing and cleaning up the apartment in Westwood. I really didn’t expect all this to happen so soon and all at the same time, but this is how it is going to be.

Like I said “upside down and spinning” – you get the idea.

What’s wrong with people?

filed under: I can't make this shit up

You certainly have heard about the shootings in Virginia [who hasn’t?].

My first thought was, once again, “What the hell is going on in the heads of people who do these horrible, horrible things?”. I don’t understand it. I can’t even remotely wrap my mind around it.

I can somewhat comprehend why someone who has experienced violence or abuse would want to kill someone else. But actually going out and doing it? Going out and randomly shooting innocent people and then shooting oneself in the face?
I don’t know – that seems impossible to understand.

I’ve been torn between constantly checking the news and turning off the TV and computer to NOT see or hear about it anymore. Something like that makes me terribly sad and it makes me doubt that there is anything good left in this world. In fact, there are so many more things wrong with this world that I sometimes have a hard time to still see the good through all of the wrongness.

But I do have an unbowed belief that people are good deep down inside and often just the product of an unbalanced society. If the people in charge would just step up sometimes and do what they should be doing… like taking away that stupid second amendment, so that the access to obtain a gun is not as easy as it was for this lost College student and instead get people like him some help.

It’s getting tougher

filed under: I can't make this shit up, NaBloPoMo

My departure is in 7 days, a week from today. It feels like time is flying since my interview at the Embassy. Every day is packed with activities, running errands, seeing people, buying things, and organizing stuff. It feels so weird to think that I’ll be living in a completely different country in a week from now. Sometimes my brain is too small to comprehend. Do you know this feeling, when you clearly know what’s going on in your life, but you can’t wrap your mind around it? I have been thinking about this quite frequently lately and how it seems like I’ve been watching myself from a third person’s perspective.

I hate this. Whenever people are asking me how I feel about my moving and if I am excited that I am going to get on the plane in one week, I want to scream “YES” and “NO” at the same time. Some days I feel like I have a split personality.

I wish I could live two lives at the same time. A part of me would like to stay in Germany, close to my family and friends. I am scared to miss out on time that could be spent with my parents and my sister. I am scared of not being part of their lives anymore as much as I was for the past 10 months. I know it’s stupid, but I am scared of it. Today I went to see my Grandad for a while and before I left, he gave me this really long and tight hug and said that he really is going to miss me and that he hopes that he’ll see me soon again. I felt my eyes fill up with tears and I had a hard time to keep it together. What am I to say? Of course, I hope I’ll come to visit some time soon, but I have no idea right now when this will be. Just thinking about the fact that I won’t be able to see my family and friends as I please, is killing me.

At the same time, I can’t wait to be back together with J. I feel incomplete without him. I am looking forward to starting my life with him in LA, to making a home in our apartment and starting a new job. I want to make new friends and enjoy life there. I am so excited that I have the opportunity to live in a different country, practice a foreign language and broaden my horizon. As tough and frustrating a cross-cultural relationship can be sometimes [especially after months and months of LDR], I am thankful for every minute of it and for the invaluable experience of life.

…