Hello 2019.

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Oh hey, it’s 2019.

In all honesty, I haven’t had the mental space to wrap my head around yet another ‘new year’. It surprises me, every time, that it just was Christmas and bam, another year is gone.
While I usually look forward to the time between Christmas and New Year’s as a time of slow-down, reflection, and anticipation, it has also brought more nostalgia and melancholy in recent years.

I am pretty convinced that it has to do with multiple factors: a) we haven’t been with family for the holidays in a few years, b) my niece and nephew are growing like weeds, and c) time just seems to pass by so damn fast that I always feel like a couple of steps behind these days.

I usually like the idea of a new year, a blank slate. New goals, new ideas, new possibilities. But then this happens: look, here we are and I am welcoming the new year and it’s already January, 10 and we’re 1/3 of the way through the month.

On top of that, I should be sitting at my desk at work right now, but as you might know, I am a federal employee, currently furloughed with the partial shutdown going on day 20. What better way to use my unexpected ‘free time’ as to ruminate about past, present, and future, am I right?

I don’t know what 2019 has in store for us. I am planning to post a list of goals next week, as I did last year, but part of me is afraid to make too many plans because what if none of it actually happens?

I know, I know, there is a lot I can do to make it happen, but last year, I had some of my goals thrown off and I felt kind of defeated there for a while… but then again, that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t make any goals in the first place. Goals are good. I thrive on goals and I know it.

So, let’s do this, 2019. I am ready (or trying hard to be).

  1. Sometimes New Years come in with all sorts of happiness and promise. Sometimes they begin with sadness and melancholy. Mine is a combination of good and melancholy, as my best friend is at this moment in Hospice Care. I hope I can get to her before she passes, but I may just miss her.
    Yet, at the same moment, I am planning a trip with my grandchildren to Disney World in Florida! So many mixed emotions all at once.
    Hang in there.

    1. You’re so right about this, Maribeth. I do hope you get to see your friend one last time!

  2. Just take it one day at a time. I’ve been through that melancholy period and its hard to see past it. <3

    1. Thank you, I appreciate that.

  3. This government shutdown must make life a whole lot crazier and unpredictable than it normally would. It’s just completely insane how long it’s gone on for, and it seems like there’s no end in sight. <3 I hope you're hanging in there! Let me know if you need anything, friend.

    1. That’s really sweet. Thanks, friend.

  4. I’ve been thinking of you lately with this never-ending government shutdown. I feel so bad for all the people who are missing paychecks. That must be so stressful. :(

    I love the start of a new year. It’s just nice to reset the clock. I can understand how you feel, though. I’ve had years where I couldn’t wait to turn the calendar to a fresh year and years where I wondered where the time went. Even though 2018 was a really amazing year for us, it was also really challenging with how hard my return to work was and how poor of a sleeper Paul was! So I was kind of happy to turn the calendar to a new year! I do get a little sentimental about how fast Paul is growing and changing but I like each month better and better!

    I’m looking forward to seeing what you plan to accomplish in 2019!! I posted my list of 2019 “to dos” this week and I am really looking forward to crossing each one off the list. I did not set the bar very high for myself as I know I have limited capacity for ‘extra’ stuff between working + parenting. So a big chunk of my list is fun stuff!

    1. Yeah, it is stressful to be in that limbo… I do hope they find a solution soon.

      I am excited for your 2019… I am sure you’ll be able to “multitask” much better this year (now that you have almost a year of parenting under your belt!) and get to fit in more fun stuff :)

  5. I think it’s harder to embrace the New Year when things are uncertain as they are for you right now. I know we dealt with that when Nate was out of work over the holidays some years back. But hopefully things turn around soon and I hope that 2019 will be a good year for you!

    1. That’s a very good point and that’s probably why it’s been so difficult for me this time. Thank you for putting this in perspective!

  6. I’m sorry you’re being affected by the government shutdown. :( I’m sure it does make the New Year kind of…off-balance, I guess? I plan on doing a goals post – probably sometime next week. I want to try and do monthly goal posts too so I can break down some of my bigger goals for the year. I think it’s tough to have a goal and not meet it, but it’s still a good idea to make them – something to strive for/look forward to! And who says you only have THIS year to make your goals happen?!


    1. Yes, off-balance. That’s a good word. Thank you.
      I think monthly goals are great…. go for it!

  7. Don’t get me started on the government shutdown (well, you know how much all this infuriates me).

    The only goal I strive for each day is to have a fresh cup of coffee in the morning. ;-) Totally works!

    1. Ha! Yes. Coffee. Makes everything better (and bearable!). :)

  8. I totally get the feeling – 2019 kinda run me over. I haven’t set all my goals yet and that feels like I am somewhat unprepared running a long on this journey trying to catch up. However I also believe in goals or maybe you find it easier to call them dreams. This way you don’t feel like a failure when they don’t come true but you have something to work for. Also when reading your post I immediately thought of the word flow.
    Anyway happy New Year- it’s going to be grand!

    1. I am glad that I am not the only one who got “run over” by 2019… LOL… although of course I wouldn’t wish that on anyone! I hope we can both turn this bumpy start around ;)

  9. I get this, and can empathize 100%. I had high hopes for 2019, but this month is already kicking my ass. I miss my dog, I have the winter blues, and it’s hard for me to commit to things for the reasons you mentioned/ if I make a goal, and don’t accomplish it, it tends to make me feel like a failure.

    But, the year is still young and I’m hoping that my funk dissipates quickly. Oof, I’m so sorry to hear about the job situation. It breaks my heart that so many people are out of work bc of one idiots pride. Sending all my love and hope that things turn around for you soon. Please keep me posted and sending all my love. Xoxo

    1. Ah, sorry friend, to hear that your 2019 was also off to a bumpy start… but hopefully we can turn this year around (quickly!).

  10. I do love a clean slate! Though I don’t have any “big plans” for 2019. My life is a little crazy right now so I’m just trying to take one day at a time. I suppose I should start thinking about summer vacations though!

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