I really, really feel like being creative lately. The strange thing is that a) when I feel creative, I don’t have any time to go for it, and b) when I finally have a couple of hours to myself, I feel totally uninspired and just bleh and end up hanging out in front of the TV or, on a good day, reading a book.
Sometimes I miss all the free time that I had when I was still in school. I would spend whole afternoons in my room writing letters and drawing and doing crafts.
I think my problem these days is that I always feel like I have to have at least (!) a half day or so set aside for myself, or I don’t even feel “relaxed” enough to start anything.
Take scrapbooking for example. I’ve been dying to start a new scrapbook for months, but I just can’t find the time, or space for that matter, to get the ball rolling. Since our apartment is so small that I can’t really leave my stuff lying around until I can squeeze in another hour or two, I don’t even see any sense in getting it out of the closet in the first place, because what good is it if I have to put it away again before I’ve even really started?
I honestly dream of a big house, with a special room for painting, scrapbooking, crafting, quilting and knitting, because yes, oh yes, believe you me, I do and enjoy all of this, when there is time. Oh, and did I mention photography? I don’t really need a special room for that, I suppose, unless I get my own dark room, but whatevs.
Or letter writing? I don’t need a room for that either, but I do need some piece and quiet to sit down and write and I haven’t felt that in a while. Peaceful and quiet enough, that is.
Maybe I just need some time off. Have I mentioned that it’s freakin’ August and I have not yet taken any vacation time? I know, gasp, who could go 8 months without vacation, right? Well, apparently, that’s what Americans do all the time and I cannot for the life of me understand the reasoning behind the concept of “having to earn your vacation time”. In Germany, taking time off – mandatorily – is all about “sustaining your work force”, not a (may I say, meager) “reward” for having worked your ass off.
But I digress.
I think I really need to figure out how to make the most of my time, because right now more often that not my free time, the little that I have, just feels wasted and I really don’t like that.
Maribeth
August 12, 2009 at 11:54 amYou know, I’m thinking this is the summer of “apathy”. I just can’t seem to get into much of anything and sort of feel tired. I want to do stuff, but this tiredness is wearing me down. I just can’t get psyched about anything.
Susi
August 12, 2009 at 12:23 pmI know, I don’t get the no vacation thing here either. I don’t even get vacation days! I have 5 unpaid sick days. Next year I have 5 paid vacation days and 5 paid sick days. Great. I want my 6 weeks plus 18 holidays!!!
Stefanie
August 12, 2009 at 5:01 pmI totally understand you. I have been wanting to do some crafting for a while, especially knitting. But with college, moving and working (soon!) I probably won’t have much time for it either. Maybe you can just dedicate one weekend to do some crafting. That usually works for me. :)
Carolina
August 13, 2009 at 7:20 amI’m finally kicking off my summer when it’s already over!!
I’m so glad I’m taking a vacation…and for the record..I NEVER HAVE BEFORE!!
in my opinion relaxing is underrated…I’m totally with you on not getting much accomplished because I need to relax.
emmysuh
August 13, 2009 at 8:46 amI have this problem from time to time as well.
The space thing is a big issue, if you are so fixated on having to pick up and clean up and then bring it out all over again, it can ne really discouraging.
What worsks for me a lot of the time is really not to force it and to ease myself into it, despite potentialspace issues. For example, I know forcing myself to write almost always reults in bad writing. But if I open up the laptop or my notebook and maybe read some of my previous, and just think about it, then I usually find that the next night after reading, I want to scribble a sentence or two. And the next might a little more…until one night I suddenly can’t stop.
I used to stress about my creative cycle and low points, and then I realized that there’s a natural ebb and flow to the process, and that I can’t force it.
Sorry for the long comment, I hope this helped and wasn’t just me rambling. I’d say follow the instinct to create when you have it, but don’t stress and it should work itself.
Tinka
August 13, 2009 at 1:41 pmI know what you mean. I love scrapbooking. You just gotta find the time to do it :)
kim
August 14, 2009 at 6:41 amhey, i’ll see you during your MUCH NEEDED VACATION! maybe we’ll even be a little creative, go on a photo-stroll or something… ? HDGDL! <3
Ulli
August 17, 2009 at 4:29 amAmerican vacation time is abysmal. They are crazy..my first job? 3 vacation days for the entire year!
Now I am really lucky. 3 weeks in the first year plus 12 personal days plus 1 week between christmas and new year. Next year I get 4 weeks vacation, plus the 12 personal and the Christmas week. :)
That’s more like it :)
Terra
August 17, 2009 at 11:17 amI don’t understand why Americans have to be such workaholics either, and I’m American. From what I’ve heard from my foreign friends, most of the world understands that working to much leads to unhappiness and stress and a whole host of other silly stuff. Maybe someday we’ll get it right.