Blogroll craziness

It’s ridiculous. The list of blogs I read, that is.
Sometimes, when I just blog-hop around, subsequently my blogroll starts growing. It doesn’t mean that these blogs will remain on my blogroll forever, but at least until I have figured out if I go back often enough to justify it.

There are two categories of blogs on my blogroll:

– the blogs that I read and whose owners read my blog in return, and
– the blogs that I read.

Simple, right? I am sure your blogroll consists of the same mix of blogs.
Sometimes though, I feel a little “left out” of the blogger community. I only get an average of maybe 5-10 comments per post (on a good day even 15!), and I pretty much know most of my readers, but I know that there are still more people that read (I can read my stats!). Why don’t people comment? Is it that they only click on your blog once, accidentally, and never come back? (I am sure that’s true for some.) Or is it that they have nothing to say in response to your posts? Does it mean you’re a ‘bad blogger’?

On the other hand, what if your blog attracts a few tens, if not hundreds of commentators? (How the hell did you manage to get that many readers anyways?)
Do you want to find out who those people are? Do you click over to their blogs and read their stories? Or do you feel rather indifferent about a large percentage of those people? I can imagine, if you have a few tens of readers, it’s difficult to keep track of all of them.
However, I do want to know who the people are that find and read my blog.
I do want to know how they found me (ah, hold it right there for a a minute! I think that explains it! I don’t advertise my blog, hence the small number of commentators, I suppose) and why they keep coming back. In most cases, if they have a blog themselves, I do click over there to read more about them.

I am aware that not every “blog acquaintance” turns into a mutual thing.
Still, sometimes it bugs me if I leave comment after comment, trying to connect to someone who successfully ignores me. I am frustrated and tempted to quit reading, but then I realize that I love reading the blog nonetheless and that sometimes it’s obviously doomed to be a one-sided thing.
I do understand that I don’t have any right to expect anything in return, because after all, nobody asked me to come and read their blog, let alone promised anything that would resemble some sort of friendship. I suppose my comment is appreciated on some level, because everybody writes a public blog to receive some feedback, no? But it still feels like a dead-end street sometimes. It’s just nice to get some sort of feedback every once in a while (even when it’s a two sentence-email. Hi, you know who you are! ;)), knowing that your comments have been read and appreciated. It makes you feel connected to this person and you remember why you blog and why you comment on other people’s blogs.

Make no mistake, I’ve made some incredible friends over the Internet. Close friends. It constantly amazes me how close you can feel to a person that you haven’t even met, just by getting to know someone through their writing. I know, a blog only allows you a glimpse into someone’s life and personality, but the connection can be still pretty amazing.

So, what do you blog for? Just for you? For your friends? For strangers? Is your goal to attract as many readers as possible, or would you rather cut back on the comment count and get to know every one of your readers?

  1. I so know how you feel with being a one-sided reader. Being only a mediocre blogger myself, I am lucky to get as many as five comments on my blog posts, and I cannot blame the awesome bloggers whose blogs I do read for not reading mine. At the same time, I wish I was a better blogger so they would start reading my blog regularly and we would get to know each other.
    I used to want to attract random readers to my blog, but I’ve realized that the content of my blog is probably too personal for the average blog-hopper to get interested. Now that I am going to make my blog private, I will not get any new readers, and in a way that makes me sad because there are some truly awesome people out there who blog, but I’m just not one of them.

  2. I gave up wondering a bit ago. I have my annual de-lurk day each year, with the hope that people will comment, but some people are just lurkers and that’s that!.
    Me? I’m a commenter. After all, if someone took time to share, I like to respond. Even if it is a short answer because I am busy.
    Happy Weekend!

  3. I have been a terrible commenter lately!! I will try to get back to it!

    I don’t get many comments at all, but I also don’t blog as regularly anymore, so I understand that…

    I need to resurrect my blog habits! :)

  4. Hey here I’m again! I love to read your blog and I will always leave a comment once in a while ;)
    I write my blog to let my family be part of our adventure and this is also a way I will hopefully not forget one little piece of this part of our life! I love to get comments but always when I think a particular post will animate to leave a comment, most of the time nothing happens ;(
    Have a wonderful weekend!

  5. I feel your pain on this! I try to leave from 3-15 comments a day. I have a LOT of blogs I read daily, so I spread out who I comment on -I’m nothing if not fair! :)

    But I too wonder why/how people get hundreds of comments when they have only been blogging for a few months. And they seem like a normal blogger…noone famous or anything, but after blogging for a few months, how can you have not even just a ton of readers, but HUNDREDS of comments?? It makes no sense.

  6. haha, I have the same problem. Why the hell do people read my blog but don’t leave a comment? I don’t get it. But when I decide to shut it down or make it private I get complaints. Anyways, I read your blog and try to leave comments…
    By the way. The Blogroll thing is great. I’ll go ahead and install one on my blog too. :)

  7. I don’t really care about the whole comment posting at all. I am a bad ‘commenter’ myself and I completely understand if people don’t have the time to post a comment on every single blog they read.

    As I have switched blog so many times and since time is really rare for me sometimes, I don’t get a lot of hits most of the time, however, once I post regularly again, the hits sky-rocket which is nice to know. As for now, I am just trying to become a better writer. :)

  8. Uhm yes…. ;-)
    Miss reading your blog! Smoochie!

  9. I’m terrible at commenting lately San AND I can totally relate to this post! Now that I’m not updating as much (WAY too much going on) I don’t get nearly the number of comments. Of course, my friends are all lazy asses and never did comment in the first place! lol

  10. I think a lot of us just don’t follow a consistent pattern. I used to write a post almost daily and now I am lucky if I post once a week. This also goes with reading blogs. I wish I could be organized enough to fit all of this into my schedule. I get upset when people don’t comment on my page, but it is only because I am not getting the feedback I need for future posts. Then you are left to question your own post. I am lucky if I get 1 or 2 comments on my posts lately. It’s ok. I will write and if you read it then “YAY” if not I don’t have time to worry about it. I do feel the same way though

  11. I don’t blog but have been thinking about starting ever so often, usually on a shitty day because I thought it would be nice to vent or if I have something that upsets me. But I guess no one would read if I only vent or rant all the time. As for writing every day stuff I find my life kinda boring plus my hubby definitely told me not to blog about him, he is sooo worried about putting personal stuff online. So that leves out about 90% of the topics I could write about. :)
    I do however read a lot of blogs because I find it fascinating to read about other peoples lifes and to meet “strangers” through that (hubby calls me a stalker sometimes).
    I try to comment if I have something important to say but most of the time I read late at night (when the kids sleep) and don’t have the energy anymore to write a witty comment.
    If you wanna know more about me catch me on facebook when I am online to chat or send a message.

    Oh, and I will try to be a better commenter if that makes you happy ;) even if I don’t blog I can kinda understand the feeling if you write stuff and no one seems to be interested in it.

  12. i have recently cut my blogroll by a lot. i just don’t have the time… i’m not a great commenter for the same reason. my online-time is usually at work because i rarely ever feel like turning on the PC at home. so, quite frankly, i don’t have that much time and if your post is super-long chances are, i won’t read it. sorry. and even if i read it, i might still not comment. because i probably don’t have anything to say about what you wrote… simple as that ;)

    also, while i understand the whole going-private and PW-protected thing it’s very inconvenient for me because i use a feed-reader. that’s what i usually check daily. again, the time… i do have a bookmarks-folder for those sites but i just don’t check it daily.

    yes, i love (!) getting comments on my blog but i’m not upset if i don’t get them. i’m sure people have their reason for not commenting and that’s fine. i write mostly for me anyway.

    what honestly annoys me though is the people who only leave a comment after i left one on their site. and yes, with some people that’s pretty obvious. sorry, that’s just BS. if you like my blog and wanna know what’s going on, read and comment if you feel like it. but if i have to leave a comment on your site first to even make you consider commenting on mine? you might as well keep your comment to yourself altogether. that’s kindergarden and i don’t need it ;)

  13. i guess since i am out of the blogscene completely and at some point i agree with kim, reading so many blogs was so timeconsuming, i can’t really answer your question.i do enjoy to read blogs, but i also think there are so many blogs that really don’t say anything. and if you have 10 comments on a bad day, i never had so many comments. but that’ s ok, i never red as many blogs as u did and do

  14. awww friend! I’m happy to say that I met you through blogging and that I feel like I know you just a little better!

    I am soooo horrible at the commenting thing lately because I have been completely neglecting my google reader! But I love your blog and love to leave comments and thank you for the comments you leave me.

    At first…it was kind of upsetting that no one read my blog and only 2-3 ppl comment or commented on the regular. I KNOW alot more people read it everyday, but just never comment.

    Now, I write just for me. Whatever makes me happy, whenever I feel like it, whatever can represent my most authentic state of mind or emotion (or lack thereof). I have given up on needing “blog acceptance” and just started doing it for me!

    I would love to know who is secretly reading…but at the same time…I like that my blog is a guilty pleasure for them and as such respect that they don’t want to be discovered :)

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