Kyria’s latest post hit a nerve with me yesterday. I am in no way caught up on my Feedly reader, but I’ve been trying to catch up, and when I read Kyria’s post, I felt very seen. In her blog post, she talked about being a bit of a perfectionist, about commitment and follow-through in life, and also when it comes to blogging. When she subscribes to a blog, she’s fully invested and committed to reading and commenting thoughtfully, but she felt that she was not being able to fulfill that commitment lately. She wrote this post in a semi-response to one of Elisabeth’s recent posts about blogging burnout and how silly it feels to burn out on something that we love so much. But I feel all of that, too.
As you have noticed, I haven’t shown up here much lately. I’ve been keeping up with my Weekly Run Down posts because they’re easy and quick to put together and make me feel like I am still somewhat engaged with blogging. However, I realize that these are probably the least interesting posts to most of you. I also haven’t been able to keep up with all your blogs. I hate reading things out of order, so even if you tell me to “mark all as read” and move on, I feel like I might miss crucial parts of what’s been going on before your last post, if that makes sense. I’ve always thought of blogging as a two-way street: if someone reads – and comments – on my blog, I want that mutual connection. I want to reciprocate with the same commitment and attention, but I haven’t been able to do that lately.
What I really want to do is write more about what’s been going on in my life, and to learn what’s been going on in yours. I keep thinking, ‘next week I’ll find time to get back to blogging and connecting’, and then one week passes, and then the next, and I keep postponing trying to write a halfway decent and coherent post and also catch up and engage with you all.
Something that doesn’t need reiteration is that this year has been one of the most challenging years of my life. I’ve had difficult years before, but this year things were hitting me on so many fronts. For a quick recap in case you missed some of it: there was the start of a new administration, the subsequent upheaval at my job, returning to the office fulltime, friends and colleagues leaving, my niece experiencing hemiparesis, traveling back and forth to SoCal multiple times to support my ailing mother-in-law, and then watching her slow but steady decline and eventual passing, Jon’s grief, a much needed trip to Germany for my cousin’s wedding, but also my last visit with my best friend who passed a few weeks later, not to mention the state of this country (and the world). It’s just been a lot. Trying to process and manage all that and taking care of Jon and myself became a priority.
Naturally, blogging – and reading and commenting – took a nose-dive. Not because I didn’t have anything to say or wouldn’t have liked the support of my online friends, but because I didn’t have the time and energy to keep everyone updated, let alone inquire more deeply about what has been going on in your lives. Because I know some of you have had their own struggles this year, and I feel guilty for not having been able to show up for you as much as I would have liked to. And so, down the spiral goes.
It’s the end of August already, and I have no clue how we got here or what happened to this year. It’s a big f**king blur to me.
I love our (Cool) Blogger Community, and I consider you all dear friends, but my bandwidth has been so severely limited lately. If any of you lived close by, I would probably frequently have shown up on your doorstep to hang out (and commiserate about the state of the world). It’s easy to make friends online, but it’s also sometimes hard to maintain these friendships when they’re almost exclusively online. It takes another type of time commitment that I haven’t been able to fulfill recently.
Meeting up with Caroline and Julie earlier this summer was such a highlight because it felt effortless to go from URL to IRL. I wish it were possible more often. We probably covered 10+ blog post topics in one evening, chatting over drinks and tasty food. It’s was balm to my soul. And during a time when I hardly pick up a book for leisure, it’s become even harder to keep up with the written musings of my friends, even though I want so desperately to be in the loop and in touch (not least because I am also missing a local community to fall back on).
This post is all over the place and I don’t know what my point is. I won’t abandon this blog – that much I know. I still have a Feedly reader that needs catching up on (and I am trying!), and I don’t know when I will be able to post next. But last night, I chose to scribble something down because I did not want another day to go by without at least letting you know how much I miss you all and how often I think about you in my day-to-day life.
Anthea
August 26, 2025 at 8:56 amSorry this year has been filled with so many hectic challenges for you. Family health issues as well as work stress is awful and I’m sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. I hope that the rest of the year is easier for you and Jon.
San
August 29, 2025 at 4:45 pmThank you for your kind words, Anthea.
Lisa's Yarns
August 26, 2025 at 9:01 amI would like you to grant yourself as much grace as possible. You have dealt with so very much this year. It kind of makes me think of the year I was relocating to Charlotte and Phil was losing his dad. We were both barely treading water so neither of us had the energy to help save/comfort the other person as keeping our heads above water was all we could manage.
There will be a time after this, but for the time being, be gentle with yourself. No one is disappointed in you, I promise. I miss your posts and hearing about what is going on in your life, but you’ll find the time and energy to put back into blogging when you have the mental energy for it!
But seriously, mark all as read for my blog posts. Nothing significant has happened in my life in the calendar year. I’m just bopping along and talking about the same things day in and day out. Wipe the slate on my blog with a clear conscience!
San
August 29, 2025 at 4:47 pmThank you, Lisa. I appreciate your thoughts and I know you’ve been in tough spots before. It’s ok to take a step back, even if it’s a forced step, sometimes. Thank you for extending grace and permission to mark “all read” on your blog (I’ll probably do that on a couple of posts, but not all).
NGS
August 26, 2025 at 10:08 amI could not relate to this any harder if I tried, San. 2025 has been very challenging for me and I’m so behind in everyone’s blogs and my own blog, for that matter. But I’m giving myself grace and hoping that things will turn around.
Hugs to you. We will get through this together.
San
August 29, 2025 at 4:57 pmEngie! I know this year has been a hard year for you too. I’ve been thinking about you and your struggles a lot. I am sending hugs back and yes, WE WILL get through this <3
Anne
August 26, 2025 at 11:51 am2025 needs to go in the dustbin of history, stat. I know so many people – so many families – who have had an unbelievably difficult time this year. You, Engie, others in my “real” life… Just another reminder that we are all here, we are all thinking of you and holding you in our hearts, and no one (NO one) is keeping score. <3
San
August 29, 2025 at 4:58 pmThank you Anne. Your text messages and check ins have been so incredibly kind and I appreciate you.
Michelle G.
August 26, 2025 at 11:57 amYou’ve had a very rough year, and I think it’s only natural that blogging would take a back seat. I’ve been taking a blogging break during August, so there’s nothing to catch up on. Taking care of yourself is the #1 priority. Sending you hugs!
San
August 29, 2025 at 4:59 pmThank you for the hugs, Michelle <3
Kristen | kristenwoolsey.com
August 26, 2025 at 12:35 pmSo sorry things have been so rough!!
San
August 29, 2025 at 4:59 pmThank you Kristen!
Nicole MacPherson
August 26, 2025 at 12:40 pmSweet friend. It’s been such a hard year for you. I wish you WERE local, so I could hug you and help you out. xo
San
August 29, 2025 at 4:59 pmHanging out with you Nicole would really cheer me up <3
J
August 26, 2025 at 4:12 pmI too wish I could help. I am glad you were able to put this post together, it’s good to hear from you. I like seeing your weekly rundown posts, though to be honest, I often don’t read them. I’m just glad to see that you’re still doing the important stuff, that you’ve got your head above water, even if it feels like ‘barely’.
Hang in there. Catch up with blogs if it feels important, but really…I would just mark all as read and move on. No one is keeping track, and we all have times when we can’t read/write/comment as much as we would like. Do unto yourself as you would do unto others (meaning, I know you would give us grace for not keeping up. Give that same grace to yourself.)
San
August 29, 2025 at 5:00 pmThank you, Julie. I appreciate you and you don’t know how much it meant to me to hang out. We should do it again soon.
Birchie
August 26, 2025 at 6:06 pmYay for a coffee chat! The best thing about the internet and blogging is that it is always here for you, whether you’re checking in every day or once a year. The only rules are “if it’s not fun then stop” and “real life comes first”.
I’ve gotten so spoiled from my trips and being able to meet our people IRL. There are no words to say how great it is.
San
August 29, 2025 at 5:01 pmYou’ve must have had the time of your life meeting all the (cool) bloggers IRL <3 and I loved spending time with you.
Melissa
August 27, 2025 at 12:51 amThis has been a particularly difficult time for you. It seems like one thing after another. I’m so glad you were able to meet up with Caroline and Julie and get your Cool Blogger time in a much more satisfying way. As I wrote on Kyria’s post, I often hit read all if I’ve fallen behind when I’m away, or life has just got away from me. A clean slate actually feels fantastic for me. Take this as your permission to read all—at least on my feed.
San
August 29, 2025 at 5:02 pmThank you for your kind words, Melissa.
coco
August 27, 2025 at 1:52 amsorry to hear things haven’t settled yet, I didn’t know your friend passed away after your MIL. Take your time to grief, rest, recover, and we are here to read about your life when you have time to share. I agree that if we live closer, a real life coffee date would be so much better.
San
August 29, 2025 at 5:03 pmThanks Coco. Yes, things been rough but I know you’ll al be here whenever I can show up more again.
Daria
August 27, 2025 at 2:57 amHi San,
2025 has been A LOT for sure. For many people I know. Cut yourself a major piece of slack. Take all the time you need, rest, grieve, move. I have no idea about your best friend, and I am so sorry.
Hugging you tight.
San
August 29, 2025 at 5:03 pmThank you Daria. I know you’ve been on a bit of a rollercoaster this year too (how’s your Dad?). I appreciate your kind words <3
Elisabeth
August 27, 2025 at 4:03 amSan, I just wish so badly that you lived down the street and I could pop over with a coffee and listen to you work through this year in person. What a horrible stretch of time it has been. I’ve had years like that and it’s…oppressive. You’ve had hard stuff coming at you from every single angle and that’s utterly exhausting.
I know blogging a fun outlet for you and it’s a wonderful, supportive community. I also understand how it can start to feel…pressurized?…and the closer we get to bloggy friends the more we want to stay connected.
Like everyone else, I would tell you to just mark ALL of my posts as “read”. Our family has had a great summer (lots of camps for Belle, soccer for Indy, two weeks visiting my parents), Belle is starting high school next week, and I quit my university job and started a Patreon. That is literally everything you could want/need to know about my summer. And I just saved you hours of unnecessary reading ;)
San
August 29, 2025 at 5:05 pmElisabeth, thank you. I know what it’s like to feel down on many fronts and I appreciate that you still keep such a positive outlook (even though you call yourself a pessimist, I don’t really think you are). I am happy to hear you had a great summer. That really makes me happy <3
Grateful Kae
August 27, 2025 at 4:17 amDitto to what everyone else has said!! No need to feel guilty…we all have times that “extras” like blogging just simply do NOT fit, even when not dealing with as much as you have been!! Unfortunately there’s only so much time and so much energy, and something has to give. It’s okay! Sending you good vibes for smoother sailing to the end of 2025 and wishing that 2026 will be your best year yet.
San
August 29, 2025 at 5:06 pmThank you for your kind words, Kae. You’re right – sometimes things have to take a backseat in life, I just wish it wasn’t blogging right now. But I know you’ll all be here whenever I can show up more frequently again. <3
Kat
August 27, 2025 at 5:22 amI’m so sorry for your losses, and wish you peace, strength, and comfort through grief and the other stresses you’re facing. Life is just so hard sometimes; maddening, disappointing, painful, sad. Ugh. It’s hard to live these moments. You’re carrying a lot and doing absolutely as well as anyone ever could. Take credit, encouragement, and strength from that. And try if you can to release yourself from any sense of obligation/perfectionism vis a vis the blog world… it is completely okay and natural and inevitable that your relationship to it and approach to it shifts over the years. Not for better or worse, just different and in a way that serves you and best fits your broader life at a given time. I always enjoy reading whatever/whenever you post (incl the workout recaps which I get some ideas from and find inspiring bc your dedication and athleticism is amazing!) Take care ❤️.
San
August 29, 2025 at 5:09 pmKat, I appreciate your perspective and kind, encouraging thoughts. Rationally, I know you’re right about all of it. I just wish that blogging wasn’t such a “time sink” for me because it also usually lifts me up, so having to cut this out seems double-cruel.
ernie
August 27, 2025 at 6:09 pmOh, San. I’m so sorry for your loss. You have had an incredibly difficult stretch, and I do not want you to add ‘must read blogs’ to your strain. Blogging is meant to be fun, and it IS a great way to connect and it is unfortunate that you aren’t nearby. I’d bake you something and we’d go for a long walk (as I’m sure I can’t keep up with your runs) and we’d talk and it would be better than reading about one another’s life long distance. You are missing nothing in my world, so please take my blog off your TO DO list. I really do not expect you to read about college drop offs. I feel stressed sometimes when I don’t feel like I have the time to commit to reading blogs and commenting and I like what Birchie says, The internet will still be here whenever.
Please know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers. Hoping for brighter days in the near future. XO
San
August 29, 2025 at 5:09 pmThank you, Ernie. You don’t know how much I’d like to go for a walk with you just now and just chat! Wouldn’t that be fun?! <3
Stephany
August 27, 2025 at 7:29 pmYou don’t know how much I wish we lived closer so I could give you the support you need in person. I miss hearing about your life, but I also know this has been an extremely challenging year (to put it lightly) for you, and you’ve had to reprioritize things. <3 We all understand that things are very rough for you right now and none of us expects you to be reading and commenting on our blogs as if life was normal. Give yourself the grace to be in this moment and know that some things have to fall by the wayside. You don't owe us anything. We just want things to get better in your world! <3
San
August 29, 2025 at 5:11 pmThank you, Stephany. I’d totally take you up on that offer to hang out – if only you weren’t on the other side of the country! Sigh. I love knowing though that so many of my favorite people are here <3
K @ TS
August 28, 2025 at 7:22 amHey girl! I am glad that you feel seen and that we can all be in the boat together! I mean, I would rather we were not, but since we are, it’s dang nice to have company. But if you get a chance to get out, do it! I am sorry about all that has been happening with you and can see how you must feel overwhelmed.
You can mark my posts as read; here is the TLDR –> I have been hiking, traveling and learning things. The end. Remember what you said to me when I wrote that post? Maybe we need to cut us some slack? We do! It’s okay to not be on top of everything all the time (I know; easy for me to say). But we are here if you need us, even if you are not posting, or answering comments or…whatever!
San
August 29, 2025 at 5:13 pmThank you my friend. Your post really put some things in perspective for me. I am glad I am not alone but I also wish we weren’t in the same boat LOL
It’s been good for me to write and connect though and I am thinking that maybe if I could fit in 1-2 posts per week, it would be a good start to get back to a blogging routine (because as you know, I also thrive on routines!)
Lindsay
August 28, 2025 at 1:34 pmSan, this post landed so hard with me. Life has been life-ing this year, right? For me, in times of loss or stress or chaos, I very much want to do my normal things (read and comment and keep up, write about where I’m at), but my words sometimes just aren’t there and that just has to be ok. Our brains (and hearts) can only hold so much. Thinking of you with all you have going on and grateful for the update <3
San
August 29, 2025 at 5:14 pmLindsay, thank you, it very much sounds like you know what I am talking about and I am glad I am not alone (although I don’t want anybody to feel the same way – ha!).
Kim
August 29, 2025 at 12:34 pmI see you, and I get it. Especially on in person communication and connection being preferred. Gosh, it’s really the best. Please don’t be hard on yourself and please do what feels right to you!
San
August 29, 2025 at 5:14 pmThank you for your kind words, Kim. I appreciate it so much.
Tobia | craftaliciousme
August 31, 2025 at 12:49 amI am so so sorry this year is so tough. Know that I would show up on you doorstep and bring you a coffee or hug you. It is hard seeing friends – even online friends – struggle and not being able to support. So I am hoping my few lines on a blog brighten your day. You should not feel bad for not commenting and being around. Being in your life and supporting Jon and taking care of your own health and grief is so important.
Huggs friend.
San
August 31, 2025 at 11:13 pmThank you, friend. I wish we could hang out and have coffee and talk the day away. One of these days!
Irene
October 15, 2025 at 9:13 amHey there,
I am slowly but surely catching up on reading your blog after shamefully stopping about a year or so ago. In my defense I have to say I usually kept up with new post through you linking them on Twitter but I quit Twitter because of Elon (and it becoming a total shithole, plus most of my friends left). And then my personal life became a weird Rollercoaster and boom, I mostly just concentrated on surviving each day without going crazy.
Looks like missed a few crazy months in your life too, but the world is crazy right now, so what’s new?
Anyways, I hope things will get better for you and I promise to try and check in here once in a while. I still wish I could get back into the habit of blogging, but even thinking about putting ALL MY THOUGTS out there gives a burnout.
Take Care…
Irene