I stayed home sick for three days this week. I have a ton of sick leave hours. I usually don’t get sick and haven’t taken sick leave in a long time but I also needed that break. After feeling lousy over the weekend, the emotional disappointment about having to cancel my weekend plans, and the stress of the last few weeks all caught up with me. I am glad I took a little time out.
* * *
Upon returning to the office yesterday, I found out that a bunch of my longest, closest coworkers are taking the latest buyout from the government and will be leaving by the end of next week. I am sad and irrationally, I feel abandoned. I am not blaming anyone for their decision, we all have to decide what is best for us and our families, but it’s hard to see the majority of my ‘work family’ leave. People seem to be dropping like flies around here and it doesn’t feel good. It also makes me question my decision to keep sticking it out. But where would I go? I have never worked anywhere else. I like my work. People keep telling me I would easily find a job elsewhere, but a big part of me wants to stay. But I also don’t know how things will change around here. Ugh. The last few weeks have just been so hard and full of uncertainty.
* * *
The last few weeks, I’ve been watching FRIENDS re-runs like it’s my job. I know, I could start watching a new show or even pick up a book again – gasp! I haven’t read a book in weeks! – but right now, I just like to zone out watching Friends re-runs. They make me laugh and help me turn off my brain. What’s your comfort show?
* * *
Jon has been down in SoCal this week tending to his mom. She is still (!) receiving care in a full-time care facility. It’s hard because she’s making such little progress but Jon’s really been stepping it up and helping out this week and I can tell he feels good about being there.
* * *
We only have one car and Jon drove it to SoCal on Monday, so I’ve been relying on my bike to get around this week. Now that the weather is getting warmer (and the sun rises earlier and sets later), I planned to commute with my bike more often anyway. Luckily, we only live 3 miles from my workplace, so I should ride my bike. I also ran some errands with my bike today. I cannot easily get to all the stores I frequent or do a weekly grocery run by bike, but we have Trader Joe’s and Safeway close by and it’s absolutely doable to pick up a few things! (And yes, I am wearing a helmet!)
Do you have a bike and ride it for your commute or to run errands?
Have a great weekend!
Five Things Friday: just five things I’m thinking about or things that made my week, or things that I otherwise feel like sharing.
coco
April 12, 2025 at 1:56 amsorry to hear you had a tough week. seeing your work families lose faith and leave is hard, i can just imagine what emotions would they cause me. I really hope this phase of craziness in the US is temporary and new world order emerges. Meanwhile, get your comfort re-runs anyday you need it. I haven’t read much lately either as my mind is spinning so much.
Anne
April 12, 2025 at 3:34 amI am so sorry to hear that your coworkers are leaving – working with people you like, in a field you love, can make for a wonderful work experience. Yours has been anything but that recently. I keep thinking that someone HAS to say no – someone has to put a stop to this insanity – but no one is. It’s disheartening and I imagine it’s even worse when you are working for the government.
I am so glad you took time for yourself, though – it sounds like it was much-needed after the shitshow that winter 2025 has been. I’m sorry to hear that Jon’s mom is still receiving full-time care, but glad that he was able to help out this week. I certainly hope that she turns a corner – a big one – soon. I have been reading – no TV, no streaming services – but complete fluff. I figure it’s okay for now, right? Hang in there, my friend. Thinking of you. <3
Birchie
April 12, 2025 at 4:35 amIt’s a hard call to make about staying or leaving the job. I think you can feel good about staying because you like it, others are leaving so it is less likely that your role will be eliminated, and because “the flavor of the month” won’t be around forever. On the other hand, there is no harm in looking at other jobs to see what the market has out there, and staying in touch with your coworkers to see where they end up.
I can’t wait to get out on the bike! It’s just been a little cold and rainy, but as soon as things get better Bikey will be coming out of the shed and getting back into action.
Jenny
April 12, 2025 at 5:00 amUgh, lots of hard things here. Sounds like things are very tough with Jon and his mom. I know how hard it is to deal with aging parents. AND, the work BS, oof. I like all of Birchie’s advice above.
Yay for bike commuting! I’m envious you have a Trader Joe’s that close. The last time I rode my bike to work was a few years ago after my car accident, when my car was being repaired. I did enjoy it, although I don’t enjoy arriving at work drenched in sweat. There’s definitely something fun and satisfying about traveling by bicycle.
Glad you took some days off! I hope you’re feeling better now.
Elisabeth
April 12, 2025 at 5:57 amGold stars for taking the time off.
I wish I had a crystal ball to tell you what decisions to make. It feels like every day is a Choose Your Own Nightmare book lately and I honestly don’t know what to think/expect anymore.
I’m so glad Jon is able to be down with his mom and I hope she starts to show major signs of recovery soon. I’m sure him being away only adds to your stress levels.
My comfort show is definitely The Great British Baking Show. After that, it would probably be Frasier (HILARIOUS!) or Parks and Rec. Though I also like to watch true crime documentaries. They’re not light and fluffy but I do think they help me gain some perspective.
Michelle G.
April 12, 2025 at 6:02 amI’m sorry all these cruddy things are happening, San. I’m glad you could take some days off and watch Friends. It’s a good comfort show! Right now, I’m watching an old series called White Collar, and it’s very enjoyable.
Ally Bean
April 12, 2025 at 6:08 amI’m sorry about all the negative vibes in your life right now. I used to watch Friends to turn off my brain. Now I’d probably go for Monk. Those mysteries are delightfully distracting. Take care of yourself.
Nicole MacPherson
April 12, 2025 at 6:35 amThings are so rough for you right now, San. I don’t blame you for zoning out and watching Friends. Sometimes we need to just comfort ourselves.
I’m glad Jon is down with his mom. It sounds tough all around.
Rachel
April 12, 2025 at 12:33 pmI am so sorry you are ill, and that all the unpleasantness seems to keep coming at you. I really hope you are able to get a break soon, and I hope the Friends breaks provide some mental peace in the interim.
It’s lovely to hear you are riding your bike – I have tried to ride my bike a few times recently. I went to lunch (1.5 miles away) and rode my bike, and I rode my bike to the start of a club run (2 miles away). I used to ride my bike to work every day (4 miles each way). I liked never having to worry about traffic. But now, I also like zoning out to music in the car, and I am concerned about not good drivers. I’m glad you’re getting out on the bike when the weather is good.
Ernie
April 12, 2025 at 3:53 pmOh, San. I had no idea that there was a buyout offer happening at your work. That sounds so stressful and I don’t blame you for feeling somewhat abandoned. I can’t imagine. So sorry.
I don’t have a comfort show, but I have watched quite a few movies over the past few months with Curly. When Harry Met Sally. 16 Candles. Pretty in Pink. So fun.
I have a bike, or – well, there are bikes in the garage. I’m not quite sure if one is officially mine, but I sometimes go on bike rides with the girls. I do not ever use a bike to run an errand, unless you count delivering a meal to my parents because I’ve done that. I hope things improve and that your MIL is able to leave full time care. So much stress. Thinking of you.
Suzanne
April 12, 2025 at 3:55 pmSan, everything sounds so difficult and fraught right now. Dealing with such constant uncertainty is the worst, truly. I know you are making the very best decision you can for you and Jon.
How cool that you are able to bike to work and to do errands! Do you have a special basket or backpack you use to transport groceries?
Tobia | craftaliciousme
April 12, 2025 at 11:45 pmI am sorry to hear that the work situation is such a depressing thing right now.
No fun. If your gut tells you to stick out out I would hang in there. Once things will be better you are the veteran and everyone wants to know how things work.
We also only have one car so all the things I need to do is either by bus or by bike. I have decided to use my bike in a bigger radius to run errands and attend meetings. It may take more time but I am counting it towards my cardio workout. And I can often times use the bike lanes along the river or through the woods which is always a nice things.
I am sorry to hear your MiL is still not doing well. Good thing Jon can be at her side. But it must be such a mental load on top of it all. Sending best wishes to you and Jon that things will turn around any minute now for you.
Stephany
April 13, 2025 at 1:47 pmI am really glad you took the sick time to yourself, San. You needed the downtime, I’m sure. And I’m sorry to hear about coworkers leaving. That’s always hard, but even harder when you know it wasn’t because they got a new job or anything like that. Ugh. I hope the bike time and being out in the sunshine will help a bit. <3 You're in my thoughts, friend!
J
April 13, 2025 at 8:28 pmIf I were in your shoes, I think I would feel abandoned as well. Of course you understand them making the decision they have made, we all have to do what is right for us and our families, but the work is still going to need to get done. Or maybe not, I don’t know the best strategy there. Are some of them looking to the state for jobs? I’ve seen articles in the paper that the state and counties are snapping up Federal employees, but don’t know how that translates to your industry.
I’m also sorry to hear that Jon’s mom is doing so poorly, but am glad that he is able to be there with her to help her. That is rewarding in its own way.
I’m glad that you took time off, and that you’re feeling a bit better. Friends is an excellent comfort show, as the episodes are pretty much stand alone, so you can just drop in. Well, not entirely, but if you’ve seen them all, it can work that way. Seinfeld is even more so, and is another comfort show. We really enjoyed watching The Office, and I love rewatching Downton Abbey and The Great British Baking Show. I’ve seen Beverley Hills, 90210 and Gilmore Girls more times than I can count.
Kim
April 14, 2025 at 4:14 amI’m glad Jon can be there with his mom <3 and I hope you’re feeling better!
It’s so sad to have you work family break up. It feels severed. Another loss to mourn. I don’t have anything helpful to add, other than I actually understand and know what you’re going through. I’m sticking it out too.
Lisa's Yarns
April 14, 2025 at 7:30 amI used to ride a bike to work when I lived downtown. I used my city’s bike share program and always wore a helmet! I would bike to the grocery store to buy a few things as well, or I would walk if I needed a bit more but not so much that I needed a car to transport my groceries. I loved biking to work!
I am sorry to hear about the resignations of your work family. That is really hard but I can understand why you’d prefer to stay put at this point. It’s hard to change jobs as there are many unknowns involved. And I’m sorry to hear Jon’s mom is still struggling and needs so much care. You guys just can’t catch a break!
NGS
April 14, 2025 at 11:30 amUgh. I’m sorry work stuff is so hard. I hate when work stuff is in flux. I can see why you’re staying, but maybe it is time to start poking around for other jobs? It doesn’t hurt to look, right?
When we lived in Minneapolis, we commuted by bike. It was so much easier because there were bike paths everywhere! Now it’s a pretty dangerous commute with two lane county highways with very narrow/non-existent shoulders and cars going 65mph. I have done it a handful of times, but it’s very stressful!