It’s been 7 months since I’ve been to my office, eaten at a restaurant, or seen any friends. We’ve postponed a visit to my in-laws (in March), canceled a whole three-week road trip with my family (in July), and forwent a whole slew of other outings we would certainly have planned and executed this summer if it hadn’t been for Covid-19. We cut down the frequency of our grocery runs, I haven’t been to a Home Goods or Michaels in forever, and really, really miss just browsing the aisles of Target (I’ve been to Target because we do part of our grocery shopping there, but it’s usually been a quick in-and-out kinda affair. I will admit that I have strayed to the home decor aisle once or twice out of desperation, but didn’t buy anything.)
It was Jon’s birthday last weekend and weeks ago, we had talked about possibly going down to visit his family for his birthday. We were cautiously hopeful that we’d be further along with the Covid-situation and that we might feel ‘safer’ to travel.
Nope. That didn’t happen. We ended up not feeling comfortable enough to travel halfway across the state.
Then I read this article yesterday, that says small gatherings are causing a surge in COVID-19 cases, and I thought to myself: yup, not worth the risk. “The CDC also warns that gatherings with people traveling from different places are riskier than those with people who live in the same area.”
As much as we’d like to travel, I still don’t think it’s a good idea.
So, Jon and I continue to do what we’ve been doing: we’re staying sane by going for runs/walks, getting curbside takeout once a week, and generally counting our blessings. We are pretty lucky that we don’t have to worry about kids/childcare/homeschooling. I understand what a luxury it is right now to just have to worry about ourselves and not have the responsibility for some small humans.
I was doing pretty okay this summer when I could go for my runs/walks and enjoy our backyard. Things became temporarily a little direr when we were hit with yet another blow when the whole Western United States were on fire (and we’re still in fire season, just to be clear) and we were hermetically locked inside the house as the air outside was unbreathable. Thank God for the spin bike that we had just invested in before we couldn’t leave the house anymore. Nothing a good sweat can’t fix, am I right? However, does anyone else feel like the universe is plotting, what other wrenches can we throw into the works of 2020, or is it just me?
I wish I could say that I am super-productive, that I have all this extra time that I am using purposefully (something that usually makes me feel better than any “give-yourself-grace” self-care routines). Alas, I am not. I scroll the news a lot, I scroll Instagram a lot (don’t judge me, I know you’re doing it, too), and I continue to be in a reading slump. I get a little upset when I squander away my time like that, but can’t seem to do much about it. Let’s not mention the emotionally draining fuel that this historic upcoming election is putting on the dumpster fire that is 2020.
Do you want to know why we all feel so awful these days? After 7 months, our surge capacity is depleted. Oh, this makes so much sense to me. “Surge capacity is a collection of adaptive systems — mental and physical — that humans draw on for short-term survival in acutely stressful situations.”
Here’s the thing: coping is usually an “after the fact” event when you come to terms with what just happened, assess, make a plan, and move on. But what if the situation is ongoing and you just have to learn to live with it? “How do you adjust to an ever-changing situation where the “new normal” is indefinite uncertainty?”
Time feels like an amorphous blob these days. It feels like we’ve been in this pandemic forever, but what I really want to know is, how in the world is it almost the end of October?
Tanja
October 20, 2020 at 9:18 amI hear you so loud and clear!
There are days I’m doing ok with all that’s going on (hintz: COVID-19) due to my daily work routine (as you know, I have been back to the office since June). However, it seems these days anxiety is creeping in more often. Part of it is for sure the upcoming election. But I also feel the urge of traveling, seeing family, feeling some sort of “free” again…..
Is anybody else hopeful we all wake up like Snow White, at midnight on 12/31, and everything is back to ‘normal’ / was just a bad dream?
San
October 30, 2020 at 12:33 pmOh, wouldn’t it be nice to wake up on 1/1/21 and things were back to normal? Sigh.
Beckett @ Birchwood Pie
October 20, 2020 at 10:23 amI agree, a holding pattern is the way to go, and unfortunately winter and being indoors all the time will make things a bit harder. I really feel for you not being able to see your family. Although we keep a good distance from my parents and other high risk members of the family, we can at least be together from a distance. But even though we don’t have an end date, COVID is not going to last forever.
I joined IG the week before the pandemic, how’s that for timing?
San
October 30, 2020 at 12:34 pmHa. That was really good timing that you joined IG just before the pandemic. I am sure it kept you busy ;)
ShootingStarsMag
October 21, 2020 at 5:47 amYou know, it makes sense that are reserves are depleting. It doesn’t seem like there’s a real end in sight and 2020 is just a crapshoot all around, so yeah, it’s been rough. I’m glad you had the spin bike for when the air was so bad!! I’ve been trying to do what I can to make things enjoyable, but it can be tough. It’s a weird year for sure. I’m just ready for some GOOD election results and then hopefully I can see a bright spot at the end of this dark dark tunnel.
-Lauren
San
October 30, 2020 at 12:34 pmOh, I am so ready for some good election results, too… it would take a huge burden off everybody’s shoulders.
Lisa of Lisa's Yarns
October 21, 2020 at 7:03 amThis year feels like such a slog with no end in sight to the restrictions we are living under. I have seen a lot of friends outdoors this summer, socially distanced, and that has been life-saving for me. But with the arrival of tons of snow yesterday, those outdoor gatherings are going to be tougher… I’m dreading the isolation of winter – winters are hard enough as is without having to not see people you would normally see. The only family we’ll see indoors is my best friend’s family as our kids go to the same daycare so we are in the same immunity bubble. But it’s going to be a long winter. But since we are having a baby, maybe I won’t mind the isolation so much? We’ll see.
San
October 30, 2020 at 12:35 pmI can imagine that winter might be even a little harder for you guys in the states that get snow and where you can’t get outside mucht at all. I hope the new baby will keep you busy and distracted :)
Kristen Woolsey
October 22, 2020 at 1:29 pmI don’t know if it’s just me, but it feels harder now versus when this all started. In the beginning we knew we weren’t supposed to go anywhere at all and everyone was staying at home. Now there are so many people who have gone back to normal where we live. We feel the same as you and are being as cautious as we can-but gosh is it wearing on us!
Totally the same with the Instagram situation too! 😛
San
October 30, 2020 at 12:36 pmYou’re right… it does feel harder, especially when I see so many other people just deciding that for them Covid has disappeared and returning to “normal” life. This is not how this works!
Tobia | craftaliciousme
October 25, 2020 at 4:16 amOh I can so relate. Just a few days ago I said that this whole year has caught up with me and it really sunk in what is going on. I kept my cheer for most the time, I had no difficulty staying at home and not seeing friends and family even though I missed them but now with numbers rising again it just hit home. I am exhausted of the constant decision making if this is ok, if I could go there if I should by more right now so I don’t need to get out, etc. I can not imagine how terrible it must be when even the few minutes outside are taken from you because of the fire. Also what a depressive and aggressive atmosphere to go through elections right now with no clear outcome. I guess there is just hoping that this will all have a purpose we can not see right now. Hoping that we are stronger coming out of it, that it sparked change where necessary. Sending lots of good vibes your way
San
October 30, 2020 at 12:37 pmOh, I hear you on the constant decision making… we’re not used to “think through” every single thing we do on a daily basis, but that’s what we have to do now and it’s exhausting.