It’s been 7 months since I’ve been to my office, eaten at a restaurant, or seen any friends. We’ve postponed a visit to my in-laws (in March), canceled a whole three-week road trip with my family (in July), and forwent a whole slew of other outings we would certainly have planned and executed this summer if it hadn’t been for Covid-19. We cut down the frequency of our grocery runs, I haven’t been to a Home Goods or Michaels in forever, and really, really miss just browsing the aisles of Target (I’ve been to Target because we do part of our grocery shopping there, but it’s usually been a quick in-and-out kinda affair. I will admit that I have strayed to the home decor aisle once or twice out of desperation, but didn’t buy anything.)
It was Jon’s birthday last weekend and weeks ago, we had talked about possibly going down to visit his family for his birthday. We were cautiously hopeful that we’d be further along with the Covid-situation and that we might feel ‘safer’ to travel.
Nope. That didn’t happen. We ended up not feeling comfortable enough to travel halfway across the state.
Then I read this article yesterday, that says small gatherings are causing a surge in COVID-19 cases, and I thought to myself: yup, not worth the risk. “The CDC also warns that gatherings with people traveling from different places are riskier than those with people who live in the same area.”
As much as we’d like to travel, I still don’t think it’s a good idea.
So, Jon and I continue to do what we’ve been doing: we’re staying sane by going for runs/walks, getting curbside takeout once a week, and generally counting our blessings. We are pretty lucky that we don’t have to worry about kids/childcare/homeschooling. I understand what a luxury it is right now to just have to worry about ourselves and not have the responsibility for some small humans.
I was doing pretty okay this summer when I could go for my runs/walks and enjoy our backyard. Things became temporarily a little direr when we were hit with yet another blow when the whole Western United States were on fire (and we’re still in fire season, just to be clear) and we were hermetically locked inside the house as the air outside was unbreathable. Thank God for the spin bike that we had just invested in before we couldn’t leave the house anymore. Nothing a good sweat can’t fix, am I right? However, does anyone else feel like the universe is plotting, what other wrenches can we throw into the works of 2020, or is it just me?
I wish I could say that I am super-productive, that I have all this extra time that I am using purposefully (something that usually makes me feel better than any “give-yourself-grace” self-care routines). Alas, I am not. I scroll the news a lot, I scroll Instagram a lot (don’t judge me, I know you’re doing it, too), and I continue to be in a reading slump. I get a little upset when I squander away my time like that, but can’t seem to do much about it. Let’s not mention the emotionally draining fuel that this historic upcoming election is putting on the dumpster fire that is 2020.
Do you want to know why we all feel so awful these days? After 7 months, our surge capacity is depleted. Oh, this makes so much sense to me. “Surge capacity is a collection of adaptive systems — mental and physical — that humans draw on for short-term survival in acutely stressful situations.”
Here’s the thing: coping is usually an “after the fact” event when you come to terms with what just happened, assess, make a plan, and move on. But what if the situation is ongoing and you just have to learn to live with it? “How do you adjust to an ever-changing situation where the “new normal” is indefinite uncertainty?”
Time feels like an amorphous blob these days. It feels like we’ve been in this pandemic forever, but what I really want to know is, how in the world is it almost the end of October?