#Scintilla13: On not being a pushover

The Scintilla Project

I am participating in the Scintilla Project, a fortnight of storytelling. There will be writing prompts every day for the next two weeks. You can follow along on Twitter @ScintillaHQ and by searching the #scintilla13 hashtag for other participants and their stories.


Prompt: Sometimes we wish we could hit the rewind button. Talk about an experience that you would do over if you could.

If I could hit the rewind button…

I would not sit there and let you unload on me as if I deserved it. I would stop you right there and tell you that you had no right to be upset with me.

I would not apologize for something that was not my fault, but ask you for a little bit of perspective.

I would not take the blame for a situation I wasn’t even involved in and instead, clearly point this out to you.

I would not let you trample my feelings and go on and on about how awful the situation was for you and how much you deserved an apology from me when I was the one who deserved the apology.

I would not tell you that I knew how you felt, because I honestly didn’t.

I would not try to be a friend to you, but tell you that I needed you to be my friend and you weren’t there for me.

I would not empathize with you feeling oh-so-bad, but ask you to consider my feelings just for once.

I would not tell you that our email exchange must have been a big misunderstanding, because I know you meant every word.

I would not wait for  you to call, hoping that I was misinterpreting your silence, but pick up the phone myself.

I would not wait for you to quietly and slowly cut me out of your life, but tell you right then and there that I was the one that had no desire  of being your friend anymore.

I would be more cautious about thinking that, after a year, our friendship was rock-solid, as it obviously hadn’t been tested yet.

I would not try to fix a relationship that apparently was lopsided to begin with, but consciously make the decision that I didn’t need ‘friends’ like you in my life.

I would, for once, stand up for myself, stop giving people the benefit of the doubt and not wait for others to decide the state of our relationship.

  1. I’ve been there more than once. I hear you. Why do we do this to ourselves and allow it? Thanks for sharing, San!

  2. I think I remember you telling me about that situation. I really hope that she is the one who wants to rewind the button nowadays becaue she airily threw away the best friendship one can imagine.
    I understand why you wish you had acted differently but in the end it is who you are. It makes you a wonderful friend for those who can worship it!

  3. Aw, I am sorry you went through something like this with someone that you thought was a tried and true friend. It is tough when things happen in life that show us who people really are and whether they are worth keeping around. You are a gem, so it’s a loss to whoever chose to walk away from you!!

  4. I really have enjoyed this scintilla project. I loved the way you told the stories. Definitely a different side of writing for you and I thoroughly enjoyed it! I always learn so much about you or the topic at hand when you write! xo

  5. also, i love the new blog design. so simple and sophisticated. well done!

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