Reverb10: Let go

This post is part of the online initiative Reverb10. One prompt a day for each day of December. You can find all of my Reverb10 posts here .

* * *

Prompt: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

This year, I had to let go of my Granddad.

Although he was already 87 years old and had suffered a mild stroke 5 months prior, his death was really sudden and unexpected. He had recovered so well from his first stroke and otherwise was so healthy. He wasn’t on any pills or had any other health problems (besides from some back pain). Which 87 year-old can say that about himself? I was sure he was going to be around for a very long time.

Getting the call from my sister that morning in late February was just a big shock. I had never felt so alone and helpless being over 6000 miles away from home.

I was two months away from going to visit again. Two months. At the time, it just didn’t seem fair. I had talked to him a couple of days beforehand and he himself had said that he couldn’t wait to see me again very, very soon!
After I moved to the US, he was always afraid that when I visited, it would be the last time he was going to see me again. It makes me sad to think that his fear of not seeing me again before he died actually became reality. He practically died in this sleep though and I’d like to think that none of these fearful thoughts were on his mind when he went to bed that night, not knowing that he would never wake up again.

Losing my Granddad was one of the hardest things I had to experience. It was the first death of a close family member that really hit me hard. My maternal Grandma died before I was born, my paternal Grandma died when I was only six. My maternal Granddad died 8 years ago, but it was different then because we hadn’t really had a very close relationship. With my paternal Granddad, however, I was very close. Having to realize that he wouldn’t be there anymore at my next visit was a tough reminder of the fact that every moment with family is precious, especially if you chose to live your life far, far away from them.

Stephany
December 5, 2010 at 2:16 pm

This is such a beautiful post! I had a scare with my grandma, whom I’m very close to, this year so I can’t imagine the pain you must have gone through when he died. Hugs, girl.
.-= Stephany blogged this: Points Plus =-.
kim
December 5, 2010 at 2:55 pm

{hugs}
Vanessa
December 5, 2010 at 5:03 pm

Beautiful post. My grandfather and I were very close as well, and I remember feeling as though his loss was the first I had truly felt with any kind of intensity. The death of a loved one is so, so hard.
mandy
December 5, 2010 at 6:10 pm

When a loved one passes its so hard to let go. While even though you might have had to let you, I hope you have some incredible memories to remember him by.
Lisa
December 5, 2010 at 7:55 pm

Wow! Your blog is looking soooo awesome! I can’t believe it. I’ve been missing out. BUT. I’m so sorry about your grandad. I know it’s so hard to let go of a loved one. I lost both of my grandparents when I was younger and I still miss them to this day. He will live on in your heart!
.-= Lisa blogged this: life is my favorite =-.
Karen
December 5, 2010 at 7:56 pm

Beautiful post. I have yet to lose a close family member (i.e. one I felt close to) not because no one died but because the ones that did I was never close to (both my granddads died before I was born). I am absolutely terrified of losing a family member that I am really close to.
.-= Karen blogged this: Reverb10- Let Go =-.
Manderz
December 5, 2010 at 9:06 pm

Losing a family member is never easy. We are so often filled with regrets for not doing “more” while we could. My husband’s grandmother passed away a few months before our wedding, without even knowing we had it planned.
.-= Manderz blogged this: Wonder =-.
Maribeth
December 6, 2010 at 5:57 am

I remember when he passed. You know, I like to think that the ones that we love never really leave us. They are always in our hearts and our souls.
Kyla Roma
December 6, 2010 at 7:35 am

Aw this is such a tough one, I’m sorry for your loss San, he sounds like a sweetheart <3
.-= Kyla Roma blogged this: Holiday Knits Gift Certificates! =-.
steph anne
December 6, 2010 at 11:28 pm

I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It’s hard but I like to think that they’re watching over us now. xo!
Holly
December 13, 2010 at 5:35 pm

Aw, I’m so sorry San. It must have been so hard being so far from home. And knowing that you were going to be visiting him so soon. It looks like the two of you were very close with each other. I’m sure he’s still with you every day. Love you!
.-= Holly blogged this: Im hijacking this blog to wish Holly a very Happy Birthday today!!! =-.

Comments are closed.

You May Also Like