photo credit: @gaellemarcel via Unsplash
While I am working on some trip recaps (why do they always take me forever to write?), I thought I’d pop in here for a quick life update, lest you think I’ve completely disappeared. Grab a beverage and settle in.
Re-entry has been rough.
I am always a little physically jet-lagged when I return from a trip overseas, but even more emotionally jet-lagged, and it takes me a little while to get back into my life here. Usually, it helps to just throw myself back into a routine, and it did, but I feel like daily life has swallowed me whole since my return three weeks ago. My work weeks have been super-busy, and I’ve been catching myself postponing things to the weekend, which then proceeds to *poof* evaporate into thin air and leaves me wondering on a Sunday night, “where the heck did the time go?”. Does this sound familiar to anyone?
This is not an excuse, not a complaint, just a simple acknowledgement of how time perception feels to me right now and how it impacts my time management. I don’t know what to do about it. I hope this is just a phase.
We’re still dealing with my mother-in-law’s estate.
It’s been almost a year since her passing, and the estate has still not been dissolved. For us, it’s more of an emotional burden, as we’re not directly involved in the execution of her trust/will (my brother-in-law is the executor, Jon is just a beneficiary), but this has been a much more drawn-out process than anticipated. (Mainly because I feel like my brother-in-law has other priorities and hasn’t pushed things along, and he also hasn’t accepted help and doesn’t communicate well with us. So, that’s fun.)
Work has been busy
Do you have co-workers on a project that swing between “oh, we have all the time in the world” and then a sudden shift to “we have no time, we have to get things accomplished NOW!”? Yeah, and unfortunately, I am always in the position where I can’t make unilateral decisions (to move my part of the work forward) but have to check back with other people. It can be a little frustrating and stressful at times, but I guess it‘s not uncommon.
I’ve been distracting myself with silly shows.
As you know, I don’t usually listen to podcasts, I don’t really watch any series, and (sadly) I haven’t picked up a book in a while, but I’ve enjoyed watching absolutely ridiculous reality TV (90-day fiancé). I think I am so intrigued/fascinated by this show because I married a foreigner myself, but we had such a completely different experience. What is with ALL THE DRAMA? And why do I find it so entertaining?
Snack Hack
Also, on a totally random note: have you had the Maui Monk Pretzel Braids from Stellar? (They give them out as snacks on Southwest flights.) I really like them and tried to find them in stores. I finally did at Sprouts, but the bag (12 oz) is $5.99. Well, here’s a tip: go buy a bag of the sweet onion pretzel twists at Trader Joe’s. You can thank me later.
Lisa's Yarns
May 5, 2026 at 11:17 amSettling estates can be such a fraught process. I know of families where siblings are now estranged because of the process. It seems rare for things to go smoothly and for everyone to be content with the process. My eldest brother is the executor of my parents estate. Hopefully their deaths and very very far off and I hope they will have spent most of their assets by then but one never knows. There are 5 of us kids so I intend to be totally checked out of the process when it does occur down the road since my family is extremely conflict prone under the best of circumstances…
I can see how re-entry is tough as your trips home tend to be long to make it work the time/$$ to travel so far! It’s hard to jump right back into your normal routines when you are jetlagged and emotionally exhausted, too!
San
May 6, 2026 at 3:13 pmOof, 5 kids. I can understand that you intend to try and let your brother just take care of the estate when the time comes. I can only say from our experience, I hope that your parents set it up in a way that it won’t cause any issues.
I was under the assumption that my mother-in-law had set up her estate in a straightforward way, she had shared some of her preparations with me beforehand, but turns out that it’s still more complicated than we thought. There are no liquid assets in her trust, so paying for ongoing expenses while the estate is being settled has been the biggest issue.
I was also prepared to just be checked out since Jon and I are not really kept in the loop, but it’s hard to sit back and just “wait it out” when you know that things need to be taken care of.
J
May 5, 2026 at 2:16 pmI would imagine that leaving your family behind makes for a lot of emotional jet lag.
Ugh on your MIL’s estate taking so long. My mom had almost nothing in her estate, so it was really easy, no lawyers had to be involved or anything like that. It can really slow down the process if you have to go through probate. When my father died, his executor was not his wife (my step mom), which was wonderful, because she didn’t have to deal with all of that paperwork and so on. And she still lives in their house, and most of his assets went to her, so it was pretty simple. It will be more complicated when she dies, I expect. I’ve been very lucky in that my siblings and I all agreed on everything, so that didn’t complicate anything.
I was wondering about your work, if that general stress and feeling of dread has died down at all as time has gone by, even though of course as long as this admin is in charge, there is always a sense of existential dread.
San
May 6, 2026 at 3:15 pmThe simpler the estate, the better. And even better when no lawyers have to be involved. My MILs trust avoids probate, but the biggest issue is that there were no liquid assets in the trust to pay for ongoing expenses while the estate is being settled. It creates a big headache.
Tanja Jordan
May 6, 2026 at 3:55 amWith all the ‘madness’ around your mother-in-laws estate, “Before the 90 days” is the best distraction! I’d rather watch other peoples drama :)
Hope work gets better and people will get their jobs done in a timely matter, so you can get to your part as quickly as needed.
Don’t be too hard on yourself! Leaving family behind and getting back into the day to day is hard, especially after such amazing vacation you had. Soon enough the every day will take over again.
San
May 6, 2026 at 3:16 pmI am so happy you join me in ‘distracting’ myself :) I’d also rather watch other people’s drama LOL
Nicole MacPherson
May 6, 2026 at 5:04 amUgh, the estate process. I’m not surprised it’s taken a year. It feels like it takes forever to get things all straightened out. Why do things like that move so slowly? I have no idea but I know my SIL is still dealing with her father’s estate and it has definitely been over a year.
I am here for your 90 Day Fiance. Why not? We all need a fun distraction in our lives.
I’m sorry re-entry has been so rough. It must be hard to be so far away from your family. xo
San
May 6, 2026 at 3:17 pmThe estate process should be much more forward, I agree. It really comes down to how well the trust/will was set up, I’ve learned. And there should be a simple “to-do” list that the executor can work through. The legal language is so hard to read.
Birchie
May 6, 2026 at 5:33 amI don’t know why trip recaps take forever to write, but it’s a fact that they do. I’m really hoping to get my latest one out today, but we’ll see if that happens.
Yes I can relate to being having to shift all of my work priorities at a split second because of someone else’s whims, why do you ask? Can confirm that it’s very frustrating and that I do not miss those days.
90 DAY FIANANCE!!!!!! I never watched the show, but back when Hubs and I first started dating he found a really funny recap show and we used to just sit and laugh so hard that it hurt.
Sweet onion pretzel twists FTW!
San
May 6, 2026 at 3:18 pmYou write excellent trip recaps and usually pretty promptly, so I need to get all your tips! :)
I am so glad you don’t have to deal with co-workers that shift work priorities anymore !
NGS
May 6, 2026 at 7:19 amI am basically exhausted all the time, so if I had to deal with jetlag, I just might never get over it.
My sister was able to deal with my mom’s estate pretty easily, but it was actually not too bad because she’d sold most of her assets by the time she died, so it was just splitting cash. *shrug* Is that lucky? Or terrible? I don’t even know anymore. I’ll say that it did make our taxes complicated and stressful on top of the whole “my parent just died” thing. So, hang in there. It will resolve itself when it resolves itself, I guess.
San
May 6, 2026 at 3:22 pmI am glad your sister was able to deal with your mom’s estate pretty easily and yes, I’d say it was lucky that you basically just had to split cash. It’s the quickest, most straight-forward way to settle an estate and I feel like dealing with the more complicated taxes is ENOUGH to deal with when you’re grieving. You don’t need the added burden of sibling quarrels and going through a ton of belongings. Also, hugs (you mentioned that it was your mom’s birthday a few days ago and that must have been a ‘weird day’ for you.)
Elisabeth
May 6, 2026 at 8:54 amReentry is so rough for so many reasons. I think a feel-good show is the perfect antidote.
Sorry the estate things have been complicated and communication hasn’t been ideal with your BIL. Hugs for all of it, my friend <3
Waahhhh. I wish we had a Trader Joes.
San
May 6, 2026 at 3:23 pmThanks friend. I also wish you had a Trader Joe’s ;)
Michelle G.
May 7, 2026 at 5:33 pmI can understand why you feel emotionally jet lagged after leaving your family and homeland. My parents live close to me, and I just can’t imagine being so far away from them. Work sounds stressful. I’ve never watched that show, but it sounds like a perfect way to unwind.
ernie
May 7, 2026 at 9:19 pmI can only imagine the emotions of re-entry. I think comparing it to jet lag is a good comparison. I do not work with people who put off projects or whatever – but I do work with small people who have been potty trained, wet themselves and don’t bother to mention it. Ugh. That estate situation sounds unpleasant. I know they can take time, but it would make sense if BIL asked for help along the way. I’m cracking up at your silly show watching. I don’t watch much TV. We watch movies at times, but Coach usually has to go to bed early. We finally started watching The Pitt and it’s good. I’m not sure why they didn’t just call it ER: THE REBOOT. Hee hee. I hope work settles down for you – pushing things off to the weekend is no fun.
Sara
May 9, 2026 at 12:54 pmI feel like time is going at warp speed right now. Work has been very unpredictable and very busy. It’s so overwhelming, and I feel like I haven’t gotten anything personally done in awhile. I’m actually trying to be super intentional this weekend about exercising my creativity and doing the things that feed my soul beyond a to-do list. So, I completely get it (and it is also hard for me to sit down and write recaps). I’m sorry that the estate settling is continuing. I know that is very difficult – I, too, struggle with not being able to make unilateral decisions and the idea of hurry up and wait. Here’s hoping that things will wrap up soon for everyone’s wellbeing.
Rachel
May 10, 2026 at 12:47 pmTime is super odd, but it’s always excellent to get an update post from you San! I had to laugh at 90 day fiancee because I also have a weird affinity for that show, especially since when Andy and I moved to the states we used that same visa (even though we were living together in the UK for 2 years before we came). When we arrived at the airport in SFO we asked what the next step in the visa process was after we got married and the border agent said “oh, have you seen 90 day fiancee? it’s just like that” which I thought was very funny advice! It was weird being on a 90 day visa somewhat designed for people who hadn’t spent the last 2 years living together, but we did manage to get legally married and get our license in the 90 days – unfortunately it didn’t line up with our planned wedding so we had to get legally married before the wedding. Anyways, I definitely like the drama too…
Stephany
May 12, 2026 at 4:04 pmMy mom was the executor my grandpa’s estate and there were 7 people on the will – 3 of which lived out of state. It was TOUGH on my mom. We finally found a great lawyer who handled the probate, but there were so many things to handle because my grandpa was not prepared at all. It made my mom quickly get things in order for my brother and me!
Reentry is always so tough, isn’t it? I want it to be easier but especially when you’re with your family and far away from the mess than is the US right now… I totally understand.
Tobia | craftaliciousme
May 17, 2026 at 3:14 amargh… the estate game is heading our way too. and we have the added complication of two countries. And lets not many countries are as organized as Germany.
i am currently in a similar emotional state. time gets away from me even though I have so so many things I need and want to do. But all my engird leaves the minute the weekend arrives and all I wan is to vegetate. I am hoping it’s a phase. At least I am reading again and that does wonders to my mental state.
hope you find your release and find your groove again.
Daria
May 17, 2026 at 9:44 amTony and I went to the movies on Friday night and saw “Obsession” – a horror film based on the premise “careful what you ask for”
So on the ride back Tony goes “what’s your one wish?” Me: “pass quickly and painlessly, at an old age while still having all my mental faculties. Be hiking in Norway and just collapse or walk off a cliff. Have all stuff settled, no shit for my kids to sort through, nothing to burden them with. No nursing homes, no hospitals, no long-term care. I want it to be clean.”
Tony goes: “wow that’s dark”
The estate situation is hard I’m sure and I don’t want my kids to go through similar situation. I am sorry you and Jon are dealing with it. Much patience to you!