6: Only nauseous

I spent twelve hours with colleagues at a work conference today. Here I am, five hours away from home, when all I really want is a hug from Jon and him telling me that it will be ok. He did call me and said these words but they sounded hollow. I guess I only wanted that hug.

I’m trying to delay the processing of what just happened until the weekend as best as I can. I haven’t looked at the Internet all day. I am trying to stay here in my current bubble to get through the next two days. The first speaker this morning acknowledged briefly what happened last night (I suspect that most if not all people in the room felt the same devastation), we took a moment to take a deep breath, and then we decided that we had to continue with our good work. So we spent the rest of the day listening to presentations, trying to be engaged in scientific discourse, and pushing down any feelings as a reaction to the election outcome.

I am squeezing in this blog post just before midnight because I have another long day of meetings ahead of me tomorrow. For now, I just feel nauseous. I know I am not alone.


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18 Comments

  1. Sending virtual hugs.
    I am sorry you are away when these news hit.
    Trying to focus on your conference and taking the best from what you learn, talk, see there is the best thing for right now. You should not let the stupidity of humans taint that experience. I know easier sad then done.

  2. Sending more virtual hugs. You are doing the best thing you can do – your good work. ❤️

  3. I could use a hug, too, so consider this a virtual one. <3

  4. *hugs*
    Listened to Kamala’s speech last night and it was beautiful and hopeful. Her message: okay for now we accept this but it’s not over!

  5. Aw San, the weekend will be here very soon and you’ll get your Jon hug. I know exactly what the next four years will be like – some stuff that we don’t like will happen and lots of good stuff will happen as well.

  6. I’m so, so sorry you weren’t home with Jon when this happened.
    I appreciate Birchie’s sentiment that good stuff will happen too (and Jenny’s too that the sun will still rise).
    Sending hugs <3

  7. You are not alone. But I’m shaken by this outcome, the number of people who voted for him. It’s going to take a long time to process this.

  8. You are very much not alone.

  9. We will stand and fight and do our damnedest to protect the most vulnerable. It is what we must do now.
    It sucks that the timing meant you weren’t with Jon during this tumultuous time. Hugs to you from afar.

  10. Stay in that bubble and get through what you have to get through! It’s hard being away from your person when things like this happen. To echo this empathetic comment section, you are not alone <3

  11. You are not alone in this! I am still pretty close to tears as of now but also hope that we can all find some form of community through this.

  12. Hugs San. It’s hard not to be with loved ones when you need some comfort. It’s so shocking.

  13. Bummer you are out of town when you want to be home.

  14. {group hug} 🖤 I’ve been immersing myself in paper and making collages, knowing that I need to process this gradually. And yay you for posting.

  15. Oh, I’m so sorry to hear you weren’t at home when you heard the news. That has to make this all feel even more surreal. <3 I hope you get that Jon hug soon!

  16. Sending you love, San. I really have no words for any of this. It’s hard to believe that we exist in such a world where there is so much hate that anyone signed up for round 2 of this. Hang in there… which also sounds hollow, but it’s all I know to say at this point. Hugs, hugs, hugs.

  17. Regarding the election, what the even hell. I am so angry. Regarding you not being home, I’m sorry, that is really hard. Regarding having distractions from work, I don’t know. Plus – takes your mind off of things. Minus – can you concentrate on them? UGH for sure. <3 Hoping for peace in these times ahead.

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