On being a twin

Most people don’t know what it is like to share a birthday with a sibling.

Most people probably don’t think it’s very desirable to share a birthday with someone in the family (as it might seem that you’d only get ‘half’ the attention).

As for a (fraternal) twin like me, it feels the opposite way. If you can’t share your birthday with your sibling, it doesn’t feel right, it doesn’t feel complete.

Usually I have entertained you with a birthday post in the last couple of years, sharing pictures of the home-made cupcakes (that I baked for myself) and my “birthday table” with all the cards and presents I received from my family and friends.

This year, my birthday – almost three weeks ago – came and went without being mentioned on this blog. This year, I was too busy finally celebrating my birthday with my sister again. To be able to hug my sister on our special day was definitely the best birthday present ever!


You know what they say, twins share a special bond. I don’t know if you believe in that or not, but I definitely do. Even though we are “only” fraternal twins and don’t share an identical genetic code, I am definitely convinced that we  do share a unique connection nonetheless.

My sister and I have been close for as long as I can remember (and from what I hear from my parents waaaay before then). I believe that the bond that my sister and I have has been forged by sharing  so many experiences together at the same point of our emotional and physical development.

I mean, think about it, our relationship started in our mother’s womb. We’ve therefore known each other as long as humanly possible. I think that is a fascinating thought. Even though we, of course, didn’t consciously know that the other one was there, it was something that we probably always subconsciously relied on.

After we were born we naturally – and from a practical point of view – did everything together; from eating and sleeping to bathing and playing. Although obviously our parents had no other choice in order to save time (and their sanity), it’s not hard to understand that constantly being around each other formed a strong bond.

I think one thing that favorably distinguishes fraternal twins from identical twins is the fact that fraternal twins benefit from their close relationship and upbringing, but still have the advantage of being born with individual personalities and appearances.
My parents definitely did something right by not dressing us alike after a certain age
(I guess, when we were babies it didn’t really matter that much and hey, dressing twins the same way is so cute, is it not?) and letting us develop our own personalities. Even though we went through all stages of life together, our parents treated us more like normal siblings than one entity.

I’ve heard many, many times that twins (or multiples) are put in separate classes in school to provide them with an opportunity to develop their own identities. While I can see how in some cases that might be a good idea, I am really glad my parents decided against it and let us be in the same class.

I did a little research about the bond of twins and found a ton of information and read somewhere (on Talk About Twins by Christina Tinglof) that another reason why twins may develop such a strong bond is that they can become each other’s transitional objects—you know, that teddy bear or security blanket that helps to ease the pain when Mommy’s not around.

This is so true for us. And even if I feel it has been so much more true for me (because I relied heavily on my sister when we were little), I know it was also true for my sister. We both always had the comfort of knowing that the other one was going to be there right alongside with you.

But isn’t that a bad thing, you might ask. Something that holds you back, because you’re not pushed to overcome a challenge on your own? Don’t you miss out on opportunities that help you grow?

Believe me when I say that you’ll get plenty of opportunities to grow when you get older and naturally go your separate ways a bit. Something that I wouldn’t want to miss though is this early connection between my sister and I that has  translated into an incredibly strong adult bond.

We haven’t always been “best friends” (in the common sense of the word), although I consider her my best friend now. We had our own circle of friends as teenagers and we also had different interests and hobbies.  But nobody will ever know me as good – and  for as long – as my twin, which basically gives our union an advantage over any relationship that we have formed later in life. I know that I can call her any time of the day (and vice versa) and I can literally share everything with her.
As much as I treasure my friendships, and I am blessed with a couple of awesome strong and loyal friendships, my sister is – and will always be – the first person that I turn to.


Do you have a person like that in your life?

  1. Happy belated birthday! You two are gorgeous!

  2. Happy belated birthday :) I always wanted a twin when I was growing up – I thought it would be so much fun to have someone you were that close to! My parents dressed me and my sisters alike even though there’s a 6 year age difference between the 3 of us – I don’t think I’d enjoy that part of being a twin!

    1. Well, looks like you were not the only one who wanted to have a twin… your parents liked the concept, too :)

  3. The relationship that you and your sister have sounds amazing. It seems like my sister and I are slowly finding to each other. We had an amazing talk on Skype last week and it just felt incredibly good hearing about her plans with her boyfriend and future career goals.
    .-= Stefanie´s last blog ..Just for the money. =-.

    1. I am glad to hear you’re getting closer with your sister. I remember you talking about it a while ago how much you would like to be closer with her!

  4. I used to want a twin SO BAD when I was a kid, and every story I ever wrote as a child featured twins as characters :) Happy Belated Birthday!

    1. Haha, this is so cute!

  5. how wonderful :)
    .-= Tinka´s last blog ..More Wedding Pictures =-.

  6. What an amazing friendship, and what an amazing bond! I have a younger sister who I love, but who I’m not that intensely close with, and I would love to have that kind of a connection with her.

    You just inspired me to ask her for a skype date =)
    .-= Kyla Roma´s last blog ..five more minutes? =-.

    1. Yay! I am glad this post inspired you to connect with your sister more often! ;)

  7. I believe that the bond between twins is an amazing, unbreakable one. I also believe that we all have a twin-similar person somewhere in this world – we “just” have to find this particular person…. I’m happy I already found this person, my best friend ;)
    Happy belated birthday to you and your sister! BTW – who was born first?

    1. This is so wonderful that you have someone in your life that you feel so close to!

  8. I always love it when you write about your and Nina. I always wished I’d had twins. One of my closest friends now is a twin. Her name is Carol. Guess what her mother named the other twin? Carolyn! I asked my Carol how her mother called them in from playing when they were kids? She said, “She would yell, Twins! Twins! and we would come in for dinner!” Still they are best friends (and identical twins).
    No, I don’t have anyone like that in my life. I wish I did. There are times I feel very much alone.
    .-= Maribeth´s last blog ..My Crazy World =-.

    1. Thank you, Maribeth!

      But don’t you have Uschi? She something like a sister to you, right?

  9. although i don’t have that kind of relationship with my sister (even though she’s only 13 months younger) i actually have a person like that in my life. i’ve known her for twenty years now and she’s still my best friend. she’s the one i want to call at first when something (good or bad) happens and we just “get” each other. there have been a lot of times we said things like “i don’t know exactly how to explain/describe …” and the other person would simply say “i know what you mean/feel” and actually do.

    it’s amazing, priceless, precious and some times life-saving to have someone like that in your life. even better if there’s two – and you know who i’m talking about… HDGGGDL <3
    .-= kim´s last blog ..Protected: breathing =-.

    1. I know who you are talking about :) xoxo.

  10. Yes, I have… my twin brother. :-)

  11. You are so lucky to have such a close relationship with your sister. It sounds amazing.
    My brother and I are not that close, and while we do not really call each other when we are sad/want to talk to someone (though I do confide in him when it comes to issues with our parents), I am glad that we are as close as we are now, because it wasn’t always this way.
    I do have two best friends though who I can pretty much talk to about anything.
    .-= Karen´s last blog ..That time the check-out clerk left me speechless =-.

    1. It’s great that you have a good relationship with your brother. I think it’s harder with guys to have a close relationship like that.

  12. what a lovely blog – I hope Nina reads this and knows how you feel (though I am sure she does).I know your Birthday was a bit down this year but also up since you got to see yr fam again :-) I know you must be counting down the days to meet little Tom :-) Anyway love and missya loads Cathy xoxoxo

    1. Thanks, sweetie. Miss you, too.

  13. There were a set of twins that went to my babysitter’s and I was always so jealous of them! They had what you talk about here – that special bond, and even though I had my best friend there as well, it was never quite the same as the amazing bond the twins shared.

    Happy Belated Birthday!
    .-= terra´s last blog ..Spring Fever, Ch-ch-changes, and FLOWERS! =-.

  14. Back from vacation today and I have to comment even if it is a little late. I don’t have a twin but I share a birthday with my mom.
    When she turned 50 I turned 18 and we had a huge party. I never imagined as a kid/teenager that it would be a bad thing to share a birthday but now I know it isn’t easy because usually the kids birthday comes first and moms birthday can be forgotten. I know that now because my daughter was born at 12:55 a.m. a day after my birthday (after spending my birthday in the hospital and 9 hours of labor…she barely missed the date). So now everyone comes over for her brithday and usually forgets that mine was the day before… *sniff* and I usually spend most of my birthday preparing her birthday party and baking cake LOL

Comments are closed.