I was in SoCal this week supporting Jon, who has been tending to his mom. She is still (I don’t know how many times I have written this over the last few weeks) receiving care in a full-time care facility, but we’re now at a point where she’s supposed to be discharged next week. Not because she’s made much progress, but because she wants to go home. I can only hope that being back in her own space will motivate her to work on getting better. We’ve been arranging for 24/7 care, which is a lot. These last few weeks have been so frustrating.
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For obvious reasons, I was away from my Peloton bike this week, which meant I could focus more on running and other workouts available on the Peloton app. I have maintained a daily yoga routine for months now, but I usually stick to 10-15-minute classes. This week, I have intentionally chosen longer yoga sessions, and they’ve been really good. Also, long sleep meditations; I highly recommend them.
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I am feeling very much controlled by external sources these days. I had to yet again cancel weekend plans kind of last minute because of external circumstances. Tanja had brought up the idea that she would like to come and visit me in Sacramento during her upcoming time off in May. It was a spontaneous idea, but I told her that she’d be welcome anytime, so we made tentative plans. She looked into flights, we agreed on a weekend (this weekend!) and then I had to tell her that I had to back out because I’d be down here in SoCal to support Jon (and his mom). Which I did gladly, but damn I also really could have needed a girls’ weekend right now.
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At least, I got to spend some time at the beach this week (though never as much as I would have liked), and staring at the ocean’s vastness, inhaling and exhaling deeply, is always good for anyone’s mental health. Don’t you agree?
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I am heading back up north tomorrow because I have to get back to work on Monday. Jon’s mom would have liked me to stay longer but I had already extended my stay and really can’t take any more time off. Jon will be down here for another 10 days and help her transition back home.
What’s your week been like? Did you go to the beach?
Five Things Friday: just five things I’m thinking about or things that made my week, or things that I otherwise feel like sharing.
Rachel
May 9, 2025 at 10:27 pmOh San, I am sorry you are being buffeted about by things so far out of your control right now. It’s such a lot to deal with, all while having the normal constraints of the rest of your life. I’m sorry you lost a girls weekend again… you could really really use one.
I love the sea and the beach and do not go enough. it always makes me feel better. I think it’s genetic, my great grandmother used to stare out her window at a lake when she was very old and had dementia, she just looked at water all day. My grandmother loved water and always wanted to live by the sea, her favourite apartment was a beach front property in La Jolla where she could stare at the waves for hours.
I hope you can get more time with all the things you need – sea, friends, jon, health, Peloton… I am crossing my fingers for you.
San
May 12, 2025 at 9:58 pmThank you Rachel, I appreciate your kind words and your empathy.
Now go and get to the beach. It’s soothing.
Anne
May 10, 2025 at 3:21 amSan, I am so sorry that life is still so heavy and difficult. I’m glad you were able to be there with Jon, but can only imagine the frustration of dealing with your MIL’s health and other challenges on top of everything else. Having to cancel another girls’ weekend just…well, it just sucks. There’s no other way to say it. I hope that you get time to breathe, time to ride, time to run, and time to just be. I think you know we are all thinking of you, and I hope that helps a little bit.
I was reminded of this quote when you mentioned the sea – one of the best places (mountains are also an excellent choice) to remind ourselves that life is big, the world is big, and we will endure: The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea. Isak Dinesen/Karen Blixen
Hugs, friend. I wish I could help in some small way. <3
San
May 12, 2025 at 9:59 pmThis quote is so good and true (for me!). Thank you for sharing it, Anne. And also thank you for your continued, unwavering support and kindness. It doesn’t go unnoticed.
Lisa’s Yarns
May 10, 2025 at 5:23 amI’m so sorry to hear about the situation with your MIL and that it resulted in canceling more fun plans. 2025 has been terribly unkind to you!! You really deserve a break and a series of good events! I hope the transition to home goes ok for your MIL!
San
May 12, 2025 at 9:59 pmThank you, my friend. I appreciate your compassion.
Michelle G.
May 10, 2025 at 7:06 amI feel for you and Jon. It’s an emotional, difficult thing to deal with sick/aging parents and in-laws. It’s hard when you live close, and even harder when you live farther away. It was good of you to be there to support Jon. I’m sure the extra-long yoga and meditation sessions are helpful. I don’t have a beach nearby, but a little creek runs through here, and I love to stop and listen to the water burbling and watch the little fish and birds do their thing. It’s calming. Sometimes I even see a muskrat!
San
May 12, 2025 at 10:00 pmThank you, Michelle, for being so kind and understanding.
I am happy to hear you can walk by the water, even a creek will do!
Suzanne
May 10, 2025 at 7:57 amWhat a challenge phase of life, San. I’m so sorry things are feeling so out of your hands right now.
San
May 12, 2025 at 10:00 pmThank you, Suzanne. I appreciate your kind words.
J
May 10, 2025 at 9:19 amIt’s so difficult to feel so powerless. I’m glad that you are taking good care of Jon, of his mom, and of yourself. I’m sorry that you had to cancel your weekend with your friend, it would have been such a balm.
San
May 12, 2025 at 10:01 pmThank you, Julie. You don’t know how much I am looking forward to be getting some girl time very soon ;)
Melissa
May 10, 2025 at 9:45 amI’m sorry to hear that circumstances are so difficult at the moment. I hope you will find time soon to reschedule that girls weekend, and that Jon’s mum will show some improvement soon. I am still in Wales with G and have another week before we head home.
San
May 12, 2025 at 10:01 pmThank you so much for your kinds words, Melissa. They mean a lot.
Ernie
May 10, 2025 at 9:57 amSorry to hear that Jon’s mom is still not recovered. I imagine she is so grateful for your presence. Such a bummer about the cancelled visit. What a shame.
We head to Omaha next weekend for Tank’s college graduation. The girls are attending a camp for kids whose parents have struggled with addiction, which is well timed because they would be bored at the college event anc we would need a sitter for them for the times when we were going out on the town to celebrate. I only have a few more weeks of babysitting and mini is home. Between mini and Reg, I have been loving the extra sets of hands. I got to attend my fav workout class on Monday, because Mini agreed to wake up and watch the littles.
I have not been to the beach recently, but I agree. Time on the beach looking at the water feels so refreshing. Thinking of you.
San
May 12, 2025 at 10:02 pmThank you for thinking of me, Ernie. That means a lot. I hope you have fun at Tank’s graduation! What a milestone!
Nicole MacPherson
May 10, 2025 at 10:06 amThese are such dark days for you, my friend. I am so sorry about Jon’s mom. This sounds like such a trying time for everyone involved. And she’s going home but still needs 24/7 care? Yikes. I hope that she starts improving soon. It’s hard, since you can’t be two places at once. Also, yes, you could use a girls’ weekend for sure. Hugs.
San
May 12, 2025 at 10:02 pmThank you for your kind words and support, Nicole. Always appreciated.
Elisabeth
May 10, 2025 at 10:30 amI’m so sorry the dark cloud of challenging circumstances continues to hang low over your life. And that it’s led to cancelling fun plans which would be such a ray of joy. I do hope for better things in the near future, my friend.
I love spending time at the beach and it feels like a reset for the soul.
San
May 12, 2025 at 10:03 pmThe beach really resets the soul! Thanks for always being so supportive, Elisabeth!
Tobia | craftaliciousme
May 11, 2025 at 2:58 amThis is such a rough year for you and I am so sorry you are not getting a break. I really hope things will look better rather sooner than later. And wish you to find joy in the small little things that are lifting your spirits. Hugs friend.
San
May 12, 2025 at 10:03 pmThank you for the hugs, my friend. I appreciate them.
SHU
May 11, 2025 at 4:44 amthe longer yoga sessions are really good! I’ve been into the 45 min classes and will probably start trying the 60s. Aditi and Kristin are probably my favorite but I honestly like everyone, I don’t feel like I’ve had a ‘bad’ session yet! they really do a good job keeping it engaging. it’s nice to have little positive things like a peaceful workout to hold onto when everything else feels hard. thinking of you.
San
May 12, 2025 at 10:04 pmThanks for thinking of me, Sarah! I am really enjoying the longer yoga sessions and I agree, all the instructors do such a great job keeping you engaged!
NGS
May 12, 2025 at 7:14 amI am sorry that things feel like they are out of your control. Health stuff is always so hard, especially when the people involved are not local. You will get through this and someday things will seem normal again, I promise.
I have not been to the beach in years, San. YEARS. I need to go this summer, even if it’s just to Lake Michigan.
San
May 12, 2025 at 10:04 pmGIRL, what are you even doing? Get to the beach (or at least to the lake!).
And thank you for your kind words.
Stephany
May 13, 2025 at 12:45 pmMan, you had to cancel ANOTHER girls’ weekend? The hits just keep coming, don’t they? I’m sorry things have been so rough both work-wise AND personally. It feels like you should get a break in one area, at least. <3 Thinking of you, friend!
Daria
May 14, 2025 at 8:42 amHugs San. My parents live in Russia, and approaching 80… I often think when they need care, who will do it?… My brother is unreliable b/c of his alcohol consumption, he can barely hold a job. Will I have to take a leave of absence from my teaching job and move there for a bit?… I think about it all the time… Sorry to be dumping this but your and Jon’s situation made me think about it. Sending love.