It was my birthday earlier this week. I honestly felt like skipping it. I did not feel very celebratory for many reasons, but I had the foresight of taking the day off from work (as I have done for a number of years now!) and it was the best decision. It actually turned out to be one of the better days that I had lately. I slept in, Jon and I went to brunch, I went for a run in the afternoon and had my favorite birthday cake. I got a lot of sweet birthday messages (and a few gifts) from friends. And, of course, I got to talk to my (twin) sister – which is always the most important part of my day (because it will forever feel odd not to share this day with her).
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My mother-in-law is still receiving care in a full-time care center. I can’t believe it’s the middle of March and she still has not recovered. It’s hard to communicate with her, so we rely on updates from Jon’s brother and one of her friends that I’ve been in touch with. I wish we could do more to help, but we hope to go down to SoCal to see her again soon.
I also mentioned last week that my niece was in the hospital. She has been experiencing acute symptoms of hemiparesis on the left side of her body which first occurred during her soccer practice 10 days ago. Unfortunately, they have not been able to find the cause, it was not related to an accident or injury, or come up with a diagnosis yet. It’s frustrating to say the least but she’s handling it with a positive attitude so far.
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My nephew turned 15 today. I cannot wrap my head around how quickly these kids are growing up. I was able to FaceTime with him (and the rest of the family) and I wish I could have had some of the amazing food that my sister prepared.
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I went to Happy Hour this week with two of my oldest co-workers who I have both known for 20 years (wow!). We all work in different research groups now, but we used to work in the same group for many, many years (pre-pandemic) and it was so good to get together and commiserate with them about what we’re currently going through. Many people are very sympathetic, but very few can truly empathize. Like Kim recently so eloquently said in one of her blog posts: “you don’t get it until you’re going through it” and that is so very true. It’s not an accusation, just a realization.
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On a positive note, I was so thrilled that I got to ride with Rachel (HI RACHEL!) this week. Hooray! We had loosely talked about riding on the Peloton together sometime but never made concrete plans to bridge the time difference and then she just happened to be on one of my rides this week. What a pleasant surprise!
Happy Pi-Day! And have a great weekend!
Five Things Friday: just five things I’m thinking about or things that made my week, or things that I otherwise feel like sharing.
Rachel
March 14, 2025 at 11:20 pmI am so glad you got to enjoy your birthday. Congratulations on another year older. I am sorry about all the tough things you are going through.
Seeing your name pop up on Peloton was SO EXCITING! I was trying to squeeze some exercise in over my lunch break and was about to log off and change and go back to work when I saw the “friend working out now” notice pop up. Since I don’t have many Peloton Friends (5?) I was extra psyched to see it was you since “Ride with San” was one of my goals this year. I decided it was worth being disheveled back to work to get a San ride in. Thanks for the motivation for an extra 20 minutes of riding, it does make it even more fun when you know someone else is doing the same ride :-)
Anne
March 15, 2025 at 3:31 amIt sounds like a week with ups and downs… which I guess is all any of us can ask for right now. I am so glad your birthday ended up being a good day, and that you were able to spend time with Jon and NOT go to work. Your coworkers sound like amazing people – and I’m so glad you got to spend time with people who truly understand what you are going through.
Your niece’s situation sounds so scary – I hope they are able to pinpoint a cause (and a remedy) soon. Sending positive thoughts your – and her – way. And the same for your MIL. I hope you get to go see her soon, and that some answers are forthcoming there, too.
Sending so many hugs these days, friend. You are always in my thoughts. <3
Lisa’s Yarns
March 15, 2025 at 4:31 amHappy belated Birthday! I am glad that you took the day off to celebrate! I am sorry to hear about Jon’s mom. That must be so stressful!! I hope that she improves soon and won’t need full time care. What a rapid decline to go from traveling to Europe to being in a care facility. And then to deal with your niece being hospitalized on top of all of that!! That is so much to handle and process!!
Birchie
March 15, 2025 at 5:35 amHappy Birthday! Yay for celebrating when you didn’t feel like celebrating.
How fun that you and Rachel were on the same ride!!!!
Sending love and prayers for all the rest <3
Suzanne
March 15, 2025 at 12:03 pmAwww, happy birthday, San! I’m so sorry it didn’t feel like a very celebratory occasion.
How fun to ride with Rachel!
ccr in MA
March 15, 2025 at 1:20 pmHappy birthday! Sometimes the days we have low expectations for can be the best ones to enjoy.
Michelle G.
March 15, 2025 at 3:31 pmHappy birthday, San! I’m sorry you didn’t feel like celebrating, but how nice to take the day off and spend time relaxing and having cake! Sending you hugs and my best wishes.
Daria
March 15, 2025 at 3:59 pmHappy belated!!! Glad to hear you had an enjoyable day. Birthdays bring up a lot in me (past childhood trauma+family dynamics on the Russian side) so I usually go in to work so that I am somewhat distracted.
I hope your niece will receive a diagnosis soon, it must be hard to be in the ambiguity.
J
March 15, 2025 at 8:19 pmHappy (belated) Birthday, I’m glad that you had a good day even with everything that is going on. You are right about empathy vs. sympathy. We all care, we are all thinking of you and so many other federal employees, but we mostly haven’t been in that situation. My mom died in 2008, and my friends were very sympathetic, but over the years since then, many of these friends have lost a parent, and they tell me, “I was so sorry when your mom died, I felt terrible for you, but now I GET IT.”
Hang in there. I’m glad you are doing such good self care to protect your mental and physical health. Also, that cake looks delicious.
coco
March 16, 2025 at 1:57 amHappy birthday Sam. so glad to hear you had a good day, after dealing with sickness of family members in the last few weeks. My birthday is on christmas so I never work but if not, your idea of take day off on your birthday sounds perfect!
Tanja Jordan
March 16, 2025 at 3:36 am#virtualhug my friend – stay strong and take as much time for yourself as it needs. These are some tough times…
Sending positive vibes to Greta and your MiL – hope both will do a lot better soon!
Nicole MacPherson
March 16, 2025 at 7:17 amOh San, I’m so glad you were able to enjoy your birthday. Gosh, we all need to find things to celebrate these days, I am so glad you did.
Your niece! That’s nuts. I hope they figure something out and soon.
Super fun about the Peloton! It’s always so exciting when you get that notification that so-and-so has joined the class.
Ernie
March 16, 2025 at 1:44 pmHappy belated birthday! What day is your bday? My mom’a bday is the 13th. I’m so happy that you enjoyed your day off abc that you were glad you took the day off. Sorry that your MIL is still in need of so much care. So strange about your niece. I hope they figure her issue out soon. I am not going thru what you are going thru, but that statement is one I can relate to. No one can really know what someone else is dealing with. I hope things improve in your world soon. Offering you a big hug.
Stephany
March 17, 2025 at 1:42 pmI am very glad that you took off work for your birthday – that’s necessary most years but most especially this year. I hope it was a rejuvenating day – or at least as rejuvenating as we can hope for right now.
I feel so sad for what your MIL is going through and the stress it must be placing on your family. It is so hard to have a family member having a health challenge like this. <3 And man, how scary for your niece! I hope they find out what's causing this condition.
Kim
March 20, 2025 at 1:54 pmI am happy you ended up having a nice birthday! I worked once on my birthday and NEVER AGAIN lol. Happy belated!
Sending love to your MiL & niece <3
Thanks for the shoutout! Yep, no one gets it like our coworkers. It's too fast paced and ridiculous to even try to keep anyone else up to speed. Ugh.
Tobia | craftaliciousme
March 22, 2025 at 4:45 amSo happy to hear your birthday turned out to be a happier day.
Hope your niece is doing better and they have figured out what is going on.
Glad you had some fun friend time IRL and virtually.
Sara
March 23, 2025 at 2:26 pmHappy belated birthday, San! I’m glad you were able to find a few bright spots to celebrate, in spite of all the hard things happening around you right now. I hope everyone is doing a little better now and that there are a few more answers happening.