Five Things Friday Vol. 77

Five Things Friday: just five things I’m thinking about or things that made my week, or things that I otherwise feel like sharing.

Today is my late aunt’s birthday. I’ve been thinking about her a lot. She would have only been 62 today. She died too young. 

A mutual friend recognized her birthday on Facebook, which put a smile on my face, but then I also realized how many people had sent birthday wishes via Facebook who apparently didn’t have any idea that my aunt passed away. It reminded me how social media can be a great tool to stay connected, but also how superficial it can be. These people obviously had no other way to hear about the sad news of her passing. 

*    *    * 

I got to see – and hug, and talk to – my Palestinian co-worker (and friend) yesterday. I wanted to offer him words of support and comfort, but it felt all so incredibly insufficient in light of the pain he and his family is going through. I am sure he appreciated that I said anything at all and he was so incredibly brave and calm when he talked to me. (In all honesty, I was surprised to see him at the office but he said that distraction was good.) 

I was heartbroken to learn more details about his family. He lost his father, four brothers, and two nephews. But I was also somewhat elated to hear that he has another brother and two sisters who are alive. I didn’t prod him about more details, although I hope and wish that more of his extended family (especially kids) are safe. I cannot imagine the anguish though he’s going through not knowing what will happen to them.

*    *    * 

Our daytime highs are still in the 70s (which equals “perfection” for my Goldilocks soul), but you guys, I got out the space heater for the first time this morning. Overnight lows were in the low 40s and the duplex was freakin’ cold when I got up. I knew it was going to be time soon, as I was snuggled up in my hoody with a blanket on the couch last night (while Jon was still walking around in shorts and t-shirts. Are your partner’s temperature perceptions wildly different from your own as well?).

*    *    * 

I got a call this morning from my sister who informed me that my parents had a pipe leak at their house and that a part of the basement was flooded. There’s a lot of boxes with my stuff in my parents’ basement. She was sorting through things and wanted my “okay” to throw away stuff as she sees fit. Uff. Is this the universe doing remote decluttering for me?

*    *    * 

This is my last chance to make a plug for NaBloPoMo. If you want to join, or know someone who would like to join, consider adding yourself to the “official” list. I know writing and reading/commenting for 30 days is a lot and it should be fun and without pressure, but also remember, this is still a fairly small group and it should be doable to engage with each other. The best thing: you’ll see more of the people you already know and adore, and maybe, you’ll even make a new friend or two. It’s a win-win!

What’s been going on in your world this week?

  1. Are your partner’s temperature perceptions wildly different from your own as well?
    Heck yes. The husband is freezing so much earlier and more than I do. I feel like the apartment is overheated instantly and he is chilly.

    I believe your co-worker appreciated your genuine interest in. his situation. it all is just a horrible thing. No words….

    1. That’s so interesting that you’re the one who’s running hot… I usually hear that women are always cold and the men are always warmer ;)

      Thank you for your kind words. I think you’re right – any form of interest/acknowledgement is better than saying nothing at all.

  2. I’m so sorry about the pipe leak. Water terrifies me for this reason and one of my wishes for Christmas this year is to get water sensors to put near our hot water tank, and inside some basement areas.

    Birthday’s and anniversaries are a sad reminder of what has been lost, but I’m glad you were able to reflect on your beloved aunt and all the joy her presence brought to your life.

    I run very cold and my partner is almost always very comfortably warm. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t drive me crazy – I wish he could live in my body for one day and see what it’s like to be so cold!!! I dress for the conditions, I just get cold and stay cold from November – April here in Canada.

    1. A water sensor is a very smart idea. It can take so long for a pipe leak to be detected.
      I knew you could relate to the temperature issue, Elisabeth. I am sorry you’re also run very cold and I can relate to your thought that you wish that John could live in your body for one day to see what it’s like to always be cold. It’s not a pleasant feeling.

      1. Your weather does sound about right. Not so hot you’re sweaty all the time but not so cold that you need to put on extra. clothes either. I usually wear warmer clothes than my husband, although he often wants to turn the heater on, so I tell him to go and put more clothes on.

        The Palestinian-Israel conflict is just so sad. It’s good that you were able to be there for your friend.

  3. Just showing empathy without too much words is more than enough to show that we care.

    1. Thank you, Coco. You’re absolutely right.

  4. Oh gosh, how heartbreaking for your coworker. I cannot imagine such pain, particularly from afar. How very sad.
    I sometimes get notifications about “it’s so-and-so’s birthday!” on facebook, and I know that so-and-so has passed, and it is both sad and also a good reminder of that person. I usually take a moment to think of all the lovely memories I had with that person. But still – it is, as you say, a good way to connect but also a superficial one.

    1. Thank you, Nicole. I am having a hard time with news right now, especially because I know people who have been personally affected. It’s so heartbreaking.

      I am usually someone who also leaves birthday wishes all over the place (on social media, if we’re not super-close) and I do always appreciate the reminder of that person.

  5. It’s mind boggling the hardships that are going on in Palestine right now. After such trauma, how do people even go on?
    My husband and I get into “thermostat wars” where he likes to be warm and I’m Russian plus I’m approaching perimenapause so I like it cool. Last week felt impossibly long but it’s over. I shouldn’t be complaining about having a long week while I sit in my comfortable house in safe New Jersey.

  6. Your coworker’s family situation is horrific, I feel so badly for everyone affected by that conflict.

    I thought my husband was going to come down and turn on the a/c this morning, but thankfully he didn’t. It’s warm enough in the afternoon, but mornings are getting cold. Thankfully I am the only one that works from home, so if they turn on the heater in the morning I can turn it off when they leave for work.

  7. I am always way colder than my husband. I have a heated vest for this very reason!
    The man I dated in high school/early college died and it was so clear on FB that people didn’t know that when his birthday rolled around and it made me really sad for him and for the well-wishers.

  8. Your poor coworker. How very devastating. I am just he appreciated the condolences you shared. I imagine he has people in his life who don’t know what to say so say nothing. Which is worse, I think, than letting the person know you are thinking of them and that your heart hurts for them.

    So I don’t know that Phil has a different temperature experience, I think he is more tolerant of the temps he experiences. We are about the same weight so he is pretty small for a guy. He tolerates a colder temp in the house in the winter and a warmer temp in the summer. He says he likes to experience the seasons but a lot of it comes down to cost! He likes a low energy bill. He used to keep his house at 63 in the winter! Now that we have kids, he keeps it at 68 during the day and then 65 at night usually. In the summer we usually keep our house at 76-78 which I know sounds so hot for many. But I do not like super air conditioned homes since I am susceptible to feeling cold. So it all works out. But I do a lot of layering in the winter and always have a blanket out!!

  9. I feel so horrible for your coworker. :( I’m glad you got to give him a hug and he had you to listen.

    I hope your parents were able to clean up the water quickly and not a ton was ruined! That is totally a decluttering sign LOL.

  10. Gosh, my heart just breaks for your coworker. How devastating. And to think he’s only one family among thousands experiencing this amount of loss. I am glad he was able to talk to you. <3 Showing empathy right now is the best thing we can do.

  11. So much heaviness in the world these days. I wish you lots more Goldilocks weather.

Comments are closed.