Dear Victoria (Secret),
you know we’ve had a somewhat bumpy relationship all along, even though I liked you and I gave you another chance over and over and over again, while you kept disappointing me every single time.
You claim to have a bra for every size of woman, but to be honest, you don’t have to offer much for me. Does that make me deviate from the norm? Maybe. It definitely means that you have to improve on your bra lines. This is ridiculous.
And what’s up with your latest email messages, trying to convince me that you have the “Perfect One” for me now?
You sent this email to me a gazillion times and finally I gave in last night to come and see if you really meant to make peace! You even hired Heidi Klum to leave an impression with me and hey, you almost had me there.
But let me say it plain and clear: even your “Perfect One” is NOT EFFIN’ PERFECT, do you hear me?!
I am sick and tired of your false promises.
Ok, I’ll admit that for the first time in… oh, YEARS!… I did find one of your bra styles somewhat satisfying. But you should have a whole array of bras in my size that fit me! And not just a simple plain T-shirt bra, thank you very much. What about the very nice, fancy-schmanzy bra with all the embroidery? Why doesn’t that one come in my size?
Don’t contact me again until you really have something to offer.
It’ll take quite a bit of effort on your part for me to come back and actually try one of your bras again.
Not-so-terribly-sincerely,
me
Justin
March 30, 2009 at 8:13 pmCan I just say…I’m glad I am a guy! Sorry about the bra issues. Hope you can get them to target your body type. Perhaps you can show up at Victoria’s home and have her personally measure you. Just an idea! Or maybe the secret is that you are the only one who can’t fit into their bra. Who knows?
Kristi
March 30, 2009 at 10:01 pmLOL oh so funny – and so true. I think you should really send it.
kim
March 31, 2009 at 2:19 amyou should DEFINITELY send that one! and even though my problem is a bit different than yours – i never find a VS bra either. one for every size woman my a*s. pfft!
Maribeth
March 31, 2009 at 4:39 amI hate VS. Empty promises! I have never gotten a bra there that was either comfortable or did anything to flatter my aging figure!
Love your letter!
Carolina
March 31, 2009 at 8:09 amI don’t even want to speak what I feel about VS. All I have to say is that this store plays into the total BASHING and ALIENATING of bigger girls…like me :) I wouldn’t go there even if they had something for me. The.End.
P.S. Good letter :)
Susanne
March 31, 2009 at 9:23 amHaha, I so agree.
Ulli
March 31, 2009 at 1:17 pmDear VS,
I would like to add that any garment that has something printed ON MY ASS is not high on my list of things to buy.
Kthxbye!
kaylen
March 31, 2009 at 8:20 pmI hate this store. I do. They don’t have my size, they don’t make comfortable bigger-sizes, and they are not for “every woman.”
I also would like them to stop lying to my inbox!!